i am torn on this (we've discussed it here before)...i don't find it appropriate at all, but since so many people seem to think it's okay, i am torn as to why i find it so weird

maybe if you were put in a weird predicament like your boyfriend just dumped you last minute, and you're close enough with the bride to discuss it with her, then okay bring a girlfriend...but in other situations when you're just a single girl, no i don't think bringing a girlfriend makes sense at all

I would try to find a male friend to bring first, but if I couldn't, I would definitely bring a female friend, particularly if I was in a bind and had already RSVP'ed with a plus one. It would be much more rude to RSVP with a plus one and not bring anyone.

I think that it would be best to bring a male friend. Yes, it's somewhat heterosexist - but weddings are strongly about tradition. If you can't, I wouldn't overthink bringing a girlfriend, unless you're dealing with the bridezilla type.

I do not think it is appropriate. she is not paying $100 a head for you to have a girls' night out. plus, if you bring a friend who knows the bride/groom, maybe she wasn't specifically invited to begin with for a reason. if you bring a friend who only knows you, you are going to be extremely limited in what you are able to do and whom you are able to meet. go by yourself and make some new friends or even flirt a little with some single guys at the wedding. its otherwise tacky to bring just a friend.

That's what I was thinking Lilkim. If you've already rsvp'd then the spot is paid for, food is being prepared for this person etc.

Plus if it's a wedding where this person won't know that many people (aside from the bride who will be busy), then this will help that situation by having someone you know along with you. She may end up having more fun and end up staying for the duration. If she goes alone, she may not stay very long and then regret that later on. It all depends on her personality I suppose.

All that said, I do see where you're coming from skigurl and why you have an issue with it. It could be too that it's just not the norm, or how things have been done traditionally up until now, so maybe just seeing a new way of doing something might be the issue for you (I don't mean that in a "you're closed minded" way at all, I just couldn't think of a better way to word it).

Very timely. I just RSVPed for a wedding and I'm going with a female friend. The couple, knowing that I'm on crutches, said, "We weren't sure if you wanted to bring a boy or a friend or a helper, but bring whomever you like." So I am!

Really, BellaSugar? If I injured my leg, I would really be devastated, not being able to run. I hope you get better soon!

I agree with spacekatgal. You are being heterosexist. So what if she brings a female friend!? She RSVP'd so the bride/groom knows she is bringing someone. What does it matter the sex as long as the guest is happy?

I was the replacement guest for a wedding this past weekend. My mother-in-law was suppose to attend with her husband, daughter and son-in-law but they all got sick! She didn't feel comfortable going alone because it was in an area that she was not familiar with, so I went with her. I certainly didn't feel unwelcome there, everyone was very nice.

I think that the guest should ask the bride and groom first, but as long as they're okay with it, bring a girlfriend.

I don't see anything wrong with bringing a female friend, why is it any different from bringing a male friend. A friend is a friend for all I care. I would rather bring a female friend that I know really well than some guy friend that I might just be acquittances with. If someone has a problem with you bringing a female guest then they are full of crap and being really ridiculous.

I think it's fine to bring a female friend if you were invited with a plus one. Inviting a date to a wedding — especially one that involves travel — can feel like a huge commitment at the beginning of a relationship. I went to wedding this summer and brought one of my best friends and we had a great time. I cleared it with the bride first, but she was completely understanding that I wanted a partner in crime. I'm not sure I would have traveled alone and having a friend ensured I could share the special date and still feel comfortable.

I would be open to bringing a female friend.

I had a friend who brought her sister as her plus one to a wedding. She and her sister are best friends. No one had a problem with it.

If I already RSVPed that I was bringing a guest and my love interest fell through then I would bring a girl friend if that was my only option.

Thank you simplyfab87..who cares who she brings!! i'm curious as to why so many feel its inappropriate. i rather go with someone i know i will have fun with than go with a guy just bc he's a guy and not have that much fun or worse thinks its more than what it is. Go with a girl friend and enjoy!!

Spacekatgal, yep. Hobbling is so sexy.

I would have no problem with taking a female as my date if I had a breakup or the man could not go for any reason. That being said, if you feel that uncomfortable about taking a female and are worried, talk to the bride.

Usually the bride has to turn in a final headcount to the caterer a week or two before the wedding (I had to 2 weeks before) and if you talk with her before that period, you may not have to worry about finding a date since she can just reduce the headcount by one (if you're comfortable going alone) and that way you don't have to feel guilty about her paying for a plus-one.

I taken my sister as a guest to a wedding before and gone by myself or with a male friend. I don't see what the issue is.

At our wedding, I encouraged one of my female friends to bring another female friend as her guest. it was great

I don't see a problem with it at all. To be honest when I had my wedding we had to turn our RSVP's in and we already had paid for it at that point. So I wish that some of my friends that ended up dateless had brought a friend since the meal was already paid for!
You want your friends to enjoy themselves too and not be bored at your party.

BellaSugar has some great friends. I lol'd at "helper"

This just happened to me last night. My friend RSVP'd for a wedding with a plus one before she and her boyfriend split. She asked the groom if she could bring me instead, and he was totally fine with it. We had a great time!

I agree with care0531- If I ever get married, I wouldn't be opposed either. You're already paying for the meal, so I don't see the problem.

I think the biggest factor here is the kind of friends you keep. It is a judgment call if bringing a female friend would upset/offend the marrying couple.

I accompanied a friend to a wedding once! Her boyfriend found out about a week prior to the wedding (which was on a Friday evening) that he was going to have to work late, so I went with her. And we had an awesome time!

I don't see why it would be ok for someone to bring a guy who is "just a friend" but not a girlfriend. First, if the bride cares *that* much she would probably invite you without a guest to begin with. Second, I agree that it's WAY worse to RSVP that you're bringing a guest and then show up without one to where you're just flat out wasting the bride's money.

I think if the invitation was for a +1, then the guest gets to bring a +1, regardless of the sex of that person. And I really don't see why people would have a problem with that. You invited them to bring a guest, they get to bring a guest. Period. Anyway, if the RSVP is already in, and the tally has already been given to the caterer etc, it'd be better for the bride to have someone eating that meal than to have an empty seat because the person's +1 wasn't the right gender. I think it's awfully bridezilla of her to say "you can bring single males but NO FEMALE FRIENDS RAAAAH"

Yeah, this is ridiculous. If the guest has a +1, they can bring whomever the like. I wouldn't be friends with a couple who was really that weird about it.

And at my wedding, we had people who weren't given a +1 just bring someone anyway. Roll with the punches, people.

Who cares what gender your plus 1 is? What, you have to go with some replacement guy when you would have better company in a good friend?

Gimme a break. If a bride is going to be "upset" because my plus 1 isn't a guy, that's probably not the kind of chick I would be friends with in the first place.

Bella - blergh sorry to hear about the crutches!

I'd say "heck yes" (agreed that bringing a date to a wedding can be very meaningful, if not for you for the other person), but I guess it depends on how formal the wedding is. I know that I'd have WAY more fun bringing my best friend with me than someone I'd been dating for a few months only - and if I'm close to the bridge and groom, I'd rather have my best friend share their happy day than a date.

If you're a bride inviting guests with a +1 you kind of have to be open to the fact that they are going to bring whomever they see fit. If I was a bride and all of my friends brought girlfriends, I would be all the happier for it because I would know they were having a great time with the person they felt most comfortable around. As a guest wanting to bring a female friend rather than a significant other, I would be careful that it wasn't a mutual acquaintance the bride hadn't invited in the first place for a reason. Otherwise, who cares about gender and titles??

Yeah, I agree that if you invite someone with and "and guest" at the end then they can bring whomever theyd like! You arent saying to your female friends "mary and MALE guest" you are just saying a guest as in someone to accompany them to the wedding regardless of who that person may be (unless of course they are someone that wasnt invited to your wedding that you would not want there)

You've already RSVPd, if I'm the one getting married and you turn up alone I'd be pissed. I already paid for that plus one, I've arranged the seats. That's why it's a plus 1, there's no name or gender specification there, just + 1, I invited you and I just want you to be comfortable so you can bring a friend and celebrate this special moment with me. If I wanted you to bring a specific someone, I would've put his name on the invite.

I say yes, but only if you run it by the bride first. If she has a problem with it, go solo!

I usually bring a girlfriend since my husband hates weddings and I'd rather not go than go alone.

Even if the meal hadn't been paid for yet, the initial invitation is for +1, period. 1 person of your choice, friend guy or girl, gay or straight whatever. People need to get over gender roles in this day in age! If i get an invite, i don't really date, so i'd never think to invite a guy, i'd invite my sister or girlfriend so i had company. Going alone would be awkward too if you didn't know a lot of people. People need to get over themselves and their sexist ideals or don't invite anyone to your wedding at all.

This past February, I was a plus 1 for a female friend. Her boyfriend had decided that they needed a break about a week before the wedding so she asked me to go with her. People would come up to me and ask me if it was the bride or the groom that I knew. And my answer was neither!

I would bring my little sister - can't go wrong with a cute kid
Funny story - my aunt (only about 8 years older than me) was invited to a wedding and had just broken up with her boyfriend. She asked me if I wanted to go.At the time, I was in my low-teens and still had braces. Sitting at a table with her boss, he asked me, "So, How did you two meet?"
I was like, "Um, she's my aunt."
So awkward- apparently he thought my aunt was a lesbian pedophile.