Write the note! Do it anonymously too. Say that you are a neighbour, and while you do respect that she can do whatever she wants in her apartment, some of her late night activities with others are quite loud, and causing you to lose sleep. Ask her to please keep it down, or have sex earlier in the night

Just be nice about it, and if she continues to do what she's doing, then get more aggressive and say you will take some sort of action if it doesn't stop. You're paying rent too and you deserve sleep!

Ahhh, the joys of apartment living.

While I agree their behavior is annoying, I would have the same problem as you, in terms of not knowing how to confront her!

So for that reason I might try to solve the issue without talking to her.

Have you tried anything on your end like wearing ear plugs or a white noise machine?

If so, and it hasn't worked, then dropping a note is a good idea. Chances are she has NO clue they're being so loud, so be as friendly and polite as possible.

Personally, I would sign the note because that makes it friendlier but if you don't feel comfortable, anonymous works too. My assumption, however, is that it's going to be obvious based on the details of the note anyway.

Good luck.

Obviously a new relationship.

I'd let her know and tell her that the only reason it's bothersome to you is because it's interrupting your much-needed sleep and that it's affecting your work performance.
Otherwise, you're impressed!

I would most likely write a note because it would probably be an awkward conversation on your neighbours part as well! Write the note and keep it casual and friendly like was suggested before. I wouldn't exactly say that them having sex is keeping you up, but just state that the noise in the evening is very audible and is keeping you awake. She'll probably get the hint and know exactly what you're talking about.

AHAHAHAHA!!! I'm going through the same thing! Although I don't know which apartment this guy lives in (he's in the other section of the building) but every night the whole complex hears him climaxing. It's really embarassing and the whole complex starts laughing after he's done moaning and groaning. I feel bad for his neighbors, but if I knew where he was, I would write a note.

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!

You could also let your landlord/complex know of the issue and ask them to post a note in the hallway regarding the issue. Dont necessarily tell the name of the person involved, just have a general letter so other people in the building dont get any ideas

I have the same problem...

I told my landlord but it still happens..

We can hear when you come home
We can hear your nightly graon
We can hear all the giggles
We can hear all the wiggles
The walls are paper thin
We can practically hear you grin
Please consider your sounds
When the sun goes down.

Signed, Your neighbors

LOL. i'd leave an anonymous note!

I'd go up to her in the lobby.

"Good night last night then?"
"I'm sorry, do I know you?"

"Nope but I can hear EVERY SINGLE ORGASM YOU HAVE and I think that makes us best friends now."

=)

Or.. the anonymous note.. signed "the building".

=)

Poor thing, I've never been on the receiving end (ahem) of the situation, I'm usually the one making all the noise. Maybe you could make your own noise to get the point across, chances are when she hears you, she'll get the hint. (you don't have to have sex loudly you could just bang some pots and pans and sing) haha

I had the same problem in one apartment I lived in. The girl and I were friendly neighbors but not friends, if you know what I mean. At some point, the conversation opened the door to noise and I mentioned that I could hear almost everything from her apartment so I assumed she could hear almost everything from mine. I could see her processing the information so I said "I can even hear you peeing" and her jaw dropped. The sex got much quieter after that.

I've been in this situ so many times! I manage to ignore it or enjoy a giggle. Except for one time, when the neighbor overheard me telling a friend about it. She was so embarrassed and ending up moving out. 80o

Holy crap Ducks! Thats hilarious, I would prolly move out. I just love sex so much and I want my husband to know that. Do you think it's bad to make so much noise???

Don't say anything to her, tell the building manager that you can hear her have sex at night and it keeps you awake. The apartment manager will call her to say "nieghbors are complaining that..." and viola, it's done. So no contact between the two of you it's over.

or you can temporarily solve the problem by slipping a note under her door saying "i'm sleeping with your boyfriend. just thought you'd like to know. signed, candy" it will take him 2 weeks tops to convince her it's all a lie. lol

She probably doesn't realise that you can hear her, so maybe you could have a conversation with her where you mention how you can hear all the noises from your neighbours, and see if she takes the hint from that.

I would write the note anonymously and mention that the next time you hear it, you will go to either the landlord or the police (be sure to mention disturbing the peace, which is illegal in most states). Bringing up law makes a lot of people straighten up right away. Where signing a friendly note just asking for her to keep it down, she could easily ignore it. But it's hard to ignore a note that threatens to involve police in her potentially embarrassing situation.

Haha, last night my neighbour started banging on the wall while me and my bf were being too loud /blush/. I've felt really embarassed all day because of it, so logging on to dearsugar and seeing this made me laugh ;D
I won't wanna have sex at my place for a while, now that I know my neighbour can hear it..
So.. Yeah. Just banging on the wall should make them more quiet.
It definetly ruins the mood.

A note with no name...simple...now let's hope they don't do it more on purpose!

An anonymous note is definitely the way to, talking to her in person would make it awkward and uncomfortable every time you saw her afterwards.

I'd definitely go with the anonymous note. She probably has no clue.

I wouldn't say anything. She pays rent just like you do. Once you open this door, there's no going back. I live in NYC and have to wake up every fuggin morngin to children running at 8am, no matter if its a weekeday or a weekend. And we don't even have kids! But at the same time, my husband and I play our music and listen to our surround sound system when we want to. I used to tiptoe around for our neighbors, only to be reported to the landlord for THE SAME STUFF everyone else was doing.
For all you know, your neighbors may think you are loud as well. I used to believe in being polite, but once you live in an apartment you realize you really have no privacy. If you expect ppl to be quiet due to thin walls, maybe you need to buy yourself a house. That's what we plan to do because I've realized everyone pays for their own space and who am I to try to control what someone else does in their own home. Just my 2 cents, I know how annoying your situation must be.

Been there, heard that, my mom and her fiance are VERY loud and I'm working hard to keep the houselhold up and running because I just thing, oh she's sleeping I shouldn't wake her. But then while I'm doing her responsibilities, she's having sex!!! I understand at night, I'm asleep during night, but she just goes and does it whenever. It's annoying and I take it as an insult that I'm playing mom to my younger sis while she's doing her fiance (which is sooooo gross because he's 15 years older that her).
I've even talked to her and she just lies to me. Like I tell her and she says she'll stop and then says, Oh I'm gonna go work up in my room. 5 seconds later i hear it. It's sick. What I did is banged on the door with some made up problem and got her back for it. But what you wanna do is leave an anymonus note and if it doesn't work, talk to her about it, as if you were a different person, then she'll think it's bothering more than one person (which it probably is) then try my method!

But in retrospect I like the boyslover's idea better

if you REALLY can't do it in person, and you REALLY must have her stop, then don't mentione the sex at all, just say that it is loud up there... you could say screaming or talking or voices or moving furniture etc, but don't say SEX!! she'll figure it out with your inncocous adjectives.

if yer feeling brave enough, but not that brave...
after one of her late night ... "events," if you see her the very next day, smile and say (in a friendly way), "Soooo, you were up late last night." with a knowing grin. she'll figure it out, be a little embarrassed (or not, who knows), and won't be offended because you never _said_ anything, and no one around who overhears will know, so it'll be discreet.

i don't really see how "anonymous" anything will help. it is easy to ignore an anonymous note. if you don't imply sex directly, there won't be any unnessary emarrassment.

Nice, anonymous note under the door. It'll do the trick and keep your identity confidential. Make the note seem more "Well, I just wanted to let you know I can hear you." Rather than "I'm listening to you have sex every night."

But be polite about it so that they don't think you're creepy or something.

I had a similar problem with a neighbor whose dogs would bark for hours on end while she was at work. Since I'm a student, that's when I would be studying and it drove me NUTS. I just left a note on her door. It went something like, "Dear Neighbor- I understand that dogs bark, but this is excessive. Please be aware that the walls in this building are very thin and what goes on in your apartment is affecting the rest of the floor more than you might think. We would all appreciate if you could take some steps to fix this problem. Thanks for your understanding, Your neighbors." Worked like a charm- I never hear the dogs anymore! Try something similar with your neighbor- I find that a lot of apartment-dwellers just don't realize how loud they are being/how sound travels in buildings, so it's possible she has no idea how much you hear and a discreet note could do the trick.

Just bang on the ceiling while they're going at it.

knock on her door during sex and run

that'll ruin things.

and if it doesn't, start being obnoxious.

they'll stop, ohh they'll stop! hehe.

I would write the note. Say it's embarassing enough for both of you so to make it a little less weird you decided on a note.You hope she understands and hope that if it ever happens where she's on the receiving end of your noise, she'll be just as thoughtful with you. After all, thin walls work both ways!!!

i like to make noise, any noise, but it's also important to respect the people who are around you. i think the note would work. talking to her might be a bit awkward.

I used to have this couple who lived behind me, and every other night they would either fight or have sex. The man sounded JUST like Samuel L. Jackson, and would yell out “G*d D*mn!” with sex and the fighting! My husband and I would just lay there and listen, and laugh.

I live across the street from WeHo. When it comes to having to listen to loud neighbors having sex, gay men are the worst. At least my next door neighbor is! I find myself out on my patio or at my doorstep because I am concerned for his well-being. He is screaming bloody murder half the time...and then laughing. You hear doors banging, slapping and beating sounds, etc. It is scary and disturbing. Since the men he brings home are different, you never know when one of them might be one that doesn't elicit laughter at some point. The condo president lives above him. Tonight I saw her stick her head over her balcony to listen to what going on, then heard her thud down the stairs to pound on his door...Unfortunately, he refused to answer the door. I hope to G-d he stops this nonsense.