I think if was just a party thing then things would be fine. however, if he is ringing you up and constantly bugging you, you must tell your husband. the longer you leave it, the worse you will feel. so, even though its hard you sit down somewhere with your partner and tell him what's been going on.
I don't think you cheated but you kinda feel bad cuz you feel like you lead them on a bit. But you didn't. I hope everything works out

Oh my god, you poor woman.

What he is doing is SEXUAL HARRASSMENT. He is making unwanted sexual advances towards you and you are doing everything in your power to keep him away.

You didn't cheat. He cheated. He continues to try and cheat. You need to speak to your husband about this, allow him to answer the phone or show him messages you have been sent. Insist that you have nothing to hide with this and bring it right out into the open.

You don't need to worry about the effect it will have on the family because this guy has already messed things up quite royally for himself already.

If he is trying it on with you, how many other women is he trying it on with??

Yes, you were aroused. Who wouldn't be when pressed up against a refridgerator and complimented? You didn't cheat though because you told him that it couldn't happen and told him to back off.

He needs to back off. His game plan might change you see. HE might be the one to tell your husband about your encounter, HE might be the one who exposes what happened and puts a nasty twist on the story and so you need to make sure you blow this wide open before you get accused of trying to hide what has happened.

He is making unwanted advances and you NEED to tell your husband NOW. If you have a trusting and stable relationship then this should not be a problem.

Good luck.

I agree with the other ladies that support you telling your husband. It wouldn't have been as big a deal if it had been a one time come on while he was drunk, but the continued innuendo and borderline harassment has to stop.

If you have made it abundantly clear to him that there is no chance of the two of you ever being together (in ANY way) and he still will not take no for an answer, you need help stopping it.

Well, you did lead him on somewhat, by not immediately rejecting his advances. It's a certainty that he picked up on that and is now justifying his objectionable actions because of that. That hardly classifies as cheating, however, since he instigated everything and you were a quasi willing participant only for 30 seconds or so (if that). You were also ambushed, which had to be disorienting for you. The fact that you've rejected his advances since (in no uncertain terms) speaks to your good character.

You have a dilemma here, though, because though you should tell your husband what's happened (especially since he's misinterpreting your actions now), you also have to be prepared to open up to him and let him know that you didn't immediately reject the other guy's advances (because surely when he confront's the other guy about this, he'll learn of that). But that's still better than him finding out about this from the other guy. (I don't believe that would happen, but it's certainly possible.)

Of course, I wouldn't tell your husband everything you've told us. He need not know you were more aroused than you've been in a long time, for example -- only that you were cornered, the incident happened, you were in pseudo shock (I assume that's accurate), and you pushed him away.

I totally agree with tranquility. You were ambushed, the guy is a douche and is now sexually harrassing you. This guy is exploiting your fear and guilt, if you are open and honest then he has no ammunition. I really think you should confess to your husband (obviously not the dodgy bits), he can help you deal with it. But also...you've learned that maybe you want a bit of excitement and flattery in your life, perhaps you can mention this to your husband and create something new together.

i agree with what everyone else here has already said. you need to say something because the longer this goes on, the more messy it will get when things do come out, however that may be.
also, i know you don't want to cause your family heartbreak and drama, but at the same time do you really want to let your husband's cousin continue to be with a man who obviously has no respect for her and their child? it's going to be messy, but you need to do what is right, and not keep those around you that you love in the dark.
good luck!

this post was on
here weeks ago under group therapy

ewww. can you find reasons to not be around him? when he calls be very blunt and say "in the interest of family harmony i haven't said anything. but one more contact/attempt/look and i will tell your wife and my husband". only you know how long the kiss went and sine you didn't start it and you ended it i think 30 seconds is forgivable. what a douche he is. if someone else finds out about this you will look like part of a secret. sorry, that's the reality of it.

You feel like you've cheated because you were flattered by his advances and because you haven't told your husband.

Tell your husband this guy is beyond innapropriate!

OMG hun stick up for yourself! That is horrible that this guy is creepy and trying to make a move on you. If you let this get any worse this guy could seriously take advantage of you or worse rape you. Don't let things get out of control. Tell your husband that this guy give you a bad vibe and flirts with you often. If you dont feel comfortable telling your husband that this guy kissed you just tell him that he has tried to make a move on you . Your husband should understand and try to help. he loves you. You havent done anything wrong except not stick up for yourself. You havent cheated.

tell your husband... ps you didn't do anything wrong don't feel badly

He's harrassing you. Don't feel guilty about what happened, just tell your husband and BE HONEST. Tell him you need his help to fend this guy off, but you want to protect the family. And if he's doing this to you, he's probably at least TRIED it with other women and therefore is likely cheating on your husband's cousin! She has a right to know, too!! What a freakin' loser, though. How sad.

Definitely tell your husband. When this all comes out - and it WILL come out - do you really want your husband to find out he was in the dark the whole time?

P.S. Don't feel too badly. The guy is a jerk. And sometimes our ego gets the best of us - all of us. Sometimes even totally inappropriate things are flattering for a brief moment before we come to our senses.

Yeah, I'm getting deja vu. This one's been done.

Tell him to stop or you are going to tell your husband and Tell your husband anyway. And this does look like it has been done before....

I'd tell your husband, assuming he would be able to keep his cool. I say that because you don't want this to blow up and become a big messy family situation. Since this is his cousin, it'd probably be best if he (and/or you) quietly told him to knock it off. Hopefully he should listen. And you don't want this guy to tell your husband about this himself or have it get around.

But really, even though you lingered briefly, he came on to you. You obviously are strong enough and have enough self-esteem and self-discipline to not fool around with him every chance he tries.

TELL your husband

i dont know about telling ur family because if ur close it would really be hurtful, but the reason he keeps coming bk for more is the fact u lingerd, if u had slapped him and told him where to go i dont know if hed be so foward with u now, he thinks he has a chance. u HAV to tell him it really isnt going to happen and make it very clear. this is ur cousins husband theres no way u can do this.

This is completely forgivable, don't even start to think that this is your fault. I agree with the other posts. Tell your husband, and best of luck.

Tell your husband. Forgiveable. tarynmkerr is right, you feel like you cheated because it made you feel good. But you didn't cheat. Tell your husband.

We did this one already about 2 months ago.

Defintely forgiveable. I think you should tell your husband now that it's getting out of hand (i.e. he's calling you at work, etc). Nothing happened. You got slightly caught up in the moment, but you realized what you were doing and pushed away.

tell your husband, i think the curiosity got the best of your emotions and you let it take over! fess up and things will be ok.

I say forgive. Definatly tell your hubby though. Clear the air so you can feel better and if you all still decided to stay close with this couple, your husband can just stay by your side. The other guy needs to relax though. He's a married man as well and he could ruin his marriage if he's not careful.

I had the exact thing happen to me years ago. I ended up telling my husband because I was scared of all the situations where I had to see the guy. He was hubby's friend! Things got so much better, I never had to be around him anymore and hubby (who WAS mad but handled himself well) stated he gained more trust in me by me sharing this. Good luck!

STICK TO YOUR GUNS, GIRL!

Ok, you don't want your life to become a Jerry Springer episode - so don't even THINK about giving in. If I were you, I'd give him an ultimatum - either he immediately stop the inappropriate phone calls, behavior, or anything else that makes you uncomfortable - or you tell your husband. Tell him you've been more than patient but now you're not playing and you will not hesitate to tell hubby and disrupt the family if he doesn't knock it off.

Forgivable, but tell your husband. You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you probably let him kiss you because you were in a little bit of shock, so I think your husband will understand that you didn't pull away right away. If you tell your husband you won't have to be in the same room with him anymore, and the phone calls and harassment should stop. Jennifer76 is right...what if he tells your husband? Then he'll be even more hurt, and it will look suspicious that you didn't tell him yourself.

You did the right thing!

Tell him that if he doesn't back off you will tell your husband, and thus his wife will find out. If that doesn't stop him, then he deserves all the trouble he gets.

You let him kiss you, so to answer your question: yes in a way you did cheat. However it's a different kind of situation so it's forgivable. You just need to tell your husband ASAP.

Tell your husband.

You don;t need to feel guilty. You did not instigate his initial or continuing behavior in any way. You should tell your husband, though, and the two of you can decide what to do.

i think you should tell your husband. if you keep it to yourself any longer, things are just going to get worse. the guy may feel like you actually want it if you don't stop this now, and your husband deserves to know.

tell ur husband

It's natural to feel flattered by the extra attention, but this is not good attention. Next time he get's handsy, stab him with a fork. That always worked for me.

you need to tell him. Honestly do it for your sake.

I wanna say forgivable, not a big deal...but if my boyfriend had some girl putting crazy advances on him and he actually kissed her, I don't know what i would do.

he is sexually harrassing you. Tell your husband and get out of this situation. Congrats on losing the weight BUT you need to internally address why someone else was able to get you to so hot and bothered. Talk with your husband about your intimate life also because it appears something is lacking...

I know it's been said but girl tell your hubby. And before tat tell that other one to back the f... off! And this time mean it! It's cool to feel attractive but taking it further will only cause problems and I can tell you love your hubby, so stick with him not some jerk that will make you another notch on his belt.

I think you should tell your husband. If this guy will not stop harrassing you, then you may have to take further action, and surprising your husband with this news months from now is not a good idea. That is going to make you look guilty.

You need to tell your husband what a jerk this other guy is!!!! That's sexual harassment, if you ask me.

you have to tell your husband!

I just remembered. I had an experience similar to this, but without the kissing.

I was at a party that my boyf was not at. This guy there started following me around, and while i didn't notice at frist, he started saying thigns that made me uncomfortable. unfort i had to be rude, but he got the hint and left me alone. at 3am. the next time i saw him was a a halloween party, and my boyf was arriving after me. while waiting, i was visiting you know, and i went to walk outside onto baclony and he walked up behind me and put his arms around my waist...then once my boyf got there, i told him how uncomfortable i was and what has happened and he stuck with me, ALTHOUGH, at one point i had gone to snack table and boyf was chattin with someone, the guy walked up to me, and kissed my hand...i was like don't do that. he said, nodding his head towards my boyf, "I understand, it's the politics of the situation" and it immediatly occurred to me this guy was a liberal, so I took the word political and pretended i thought he was being literal, and took the exact opposite view point he has politcally...i don't know if me being conservative or me being "too dumb" to realize what he was saying, but he left me alone after that. hahaha. and i made my boyf promise not to leave me either haha.

i don't think you cheated, but came very close to it when you lingered that second time.

You should have told your husband as soon as that happened! Honest and trust is one of the most important things in a relationship.If you enjoyed it even for one second then it was cheating.

You are definitely forgivable, and I know from a similar problem a family friend had recently - tell your husband. It may seem wrong to you at first, but who knows - it could end up being a great decision for you and the family... Good Luck.

Wow, what a creep. Although, it is flattering, you know if you say nothing then he's not going to stop. This guy isn't getting the picture, or maybe just doesn't want to. Honesty will set you free, I highly doubt your husband would leave you for the actions of another person. You pushed him away and have been ignoring him, you said yourself your husband noticed this. I personally think it's time to get him involved. The second you bring your husband into the picture, the creep should back off quick. And if anything, you're husband's cousin needs to know. Even if it hurts her now, it will save her years of pain if she learns exactly who she married now. For your sake and for her sake you need to let your husband and his cousin know. Just my humble opinion.

Tell your husband ASAP. Lawd his cousin's behavior is disgusting and shouldn't be tolerated. Now admitting you kissed him is a different story. Just admit you were drunk, it happened, you pushed him away and HE's been after YOU ever since. I've been with my husband for 8 years, so I know what you mean by having someone else show interest, it's an ego thing. It's another to act on it. You're at fault as well, but the cousin is a BIG problem and you should just own up to it. GL

It sounds like after the party it's gone too far..he just hasn't gotten the picture.I would also look at the fact that kissing him was the most aroused you gotten in a long time,maybe you need to look at you and your husbands relationship more indepth.

I think what you are doin' is in the right. It was wrong of you how ever to let him kiss you. I think it would've been the right thing to do to tell your husband when it happened the first time and not wait until he kissed you. The man is a pig!! You are a beautiful woman and you shouldn't have to have your husband's cousin's husband to make you feel like that. If you can't feel that in your relationship then something is wrong. Try to spice it up so you can get turned on just by seeing your husband walk into the kitchen. In your situation right now I would ask your husband why he thinks this guy is trying to see you. Don't say anything of what happened until the right time. People say that things will work themselves out on there own in time. YOU have to be the one to work out the things. Use your head and be smart. For the time being don't give up on doing what you are doing. I will pray for you and if you pray then i think you should. If you need anymore help i would be glad to assist you in any way possible!! Good luck!!