It seems like some men just don't know how to be subtle anymore. While I find confidence and assertiveness attractive, a presumptuous and overly cocky man just makes me cringe. After reading an article about the new VH1 show, "The Pick-Up Artist" it made me realize that the days of going out with your girlfriends, just to catch up without being bothered by men are long gone.
This new show teaches 8 unlucky in love men how to gain self confidence in order to turn the women of their dreams into the women of their reality. It's an eight week boot camp to compete for the title of "Master Pick-Up Artist" aided by Mystery, the head honcho, and his wing men, Matador and J Dog. While it seems pretty astonishing that some men have a difficult time mastering the art of the pick up line since it is second nature to oh so many, ladies, tell me, what is the worst pick up line you have ever been thrown?
Piquadro
Prada
Dwell
Oh, I have a good one. Last week I was on the bus, and the guy sitting across from me said, "Excuse me... but do you know how much polar bears weigh?"
I hemmed and hawed and said, "Well, I'm not sure. Let me think—they are awfully large, after all..." before he responded with this:
"Well, I know they weigh enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm ____."
Oof.
1lol bella! the funniest one i ever got was-"do you wear apple bottom jeans? because, you could if you wanted to."
2Um, one time I was out with my (young-looking and attractive) mother and this nasty older man was hitting on both of us at the same time. He told me, in front of my mother, that I had a "beautiful chest" and then he went to the bathroom for a while. When he came back, he was holding a square of folded toilet paper. He opened it up to show us a tiny rock, which turned out to be a KIDNEY STONE he just passed.
Charming.
3Haha Bella, that's hilarious!
I have a funny one... but the guy was just kidding around.
He said, "Do you like the last name Nollette?"
I said... "Uh... sure, why not."
He then asked me "Do you want to share it?"
Nollette was the guy's last name. I about died laughing. It would have been creepy if he was serious... but I found it utterly hilarious.
4Whiplashgirl... EEEEEWWW!!! I feel so sorry for you... who in their right mind would want to see that?!?!?!?! Oh gross!!!! Yuck yuck yuck...
5The worst one I've heard is "Can I park my car in your garage?" lol!
6OMG poor you WhiplashGirlchild! Here's a couple that i've heard:
"If you were a guy i'd be gay for you" O___O
"I'm Winnie the Pooh and you're my honey"
"I'm Wilfred, you're Wilma and we'll make the bed rock"
^ ..all from the same guy lmao. My friend told me how he used one of those pickup lines on her too XD Talk about lame
7My (guy) friends, try out pickup lines on me all the time the worst one was:
"Is You Name Summer?"
"No,"
"Cause you're hot!"
8The only really cheesy line I ever got thrown was, "Do you have a little Asian in you? Do you want some more?" The absolute worst come on ever, was when a random stranger asked me to join him in the bathroom for a quickie.
9It was horrible, I was checking out at a book store and this really old guy (at least 50) complimented me on my shirt. Normally i take compliments well but this one was weird because of what my shirt said, "All THIS and brains too". And the "THIS" was written across my chest. It was disgusting and if I go back I always let someone cut so that I don't have to be checked out by him.
10I'd have to say my worst was when a guy came up to me at a bar and said "If I were a squirrel, could I put my nuts in your hole?"
11
12nlw... HAHAHAHA!!! I don't know how to make the rolling smiley that masqueraded angel made... but if I did... I'd put a lot of them!!! HAHAHAHA!!! That's hilarious.
13hahaha i was at this bar in mexico. and, truth be told, i looked super cute weearing a violet dress with a big blue band (im not decribing right). anyway
this guy comes uup to me and says... hey.. are you trying to look like j-lo. and im LIKE WHAAAAAAAAT? and he says. no i mean u look nice, but its very glamourus. and then i said. um. no. bye.
hater. jajaja
14whiplashgirl, ewwwww i feel soooo bad for you.
15i don't have any weird pickup lines... fortunately... haha
i just remembered a btter one..
THIS GUY WALKS BY and says "BEAUTIUL EYES"..
whats funny? i was wearing this shirt that had a face on it, and the eyes were on my boobies. jajajajajajajajajajajajajajajjajaja
16" when's the last time you've been done just right " gahahha lame
17"If I were a squirrel, could I put my nuts in your hole?"
LMAO nlw thats soo bad
18"Girl, you must be exhausted from running through my mind all day."
Not to me, but to a friend of mine, and I find it quite funny.
19don't u just love this line?
"so... where's your boyfriend?"
ahahhaa wtf?
20way to be smooth in weeding out who's single and who's not.
Did you go to the gym?
21Bella, that's just bad and Whip I cannot believe that it's freaking disgusting.
I've never had anyone use a pick up line on me. I don't feel bad about that after reading these!
22One time I was on the bus and the guy in front of me asked "What has 32 teeth and holds back a monster?". I was studying greek mythology at the time and so I was just like "Hmmmmm, I dont Know, What?" and then he goes "My Zip!". It was BAD!!!
23"HOLDS BACK A MONSTER"
24LMAO!
god some men can be such pigs lol
this guy once asked me if where i was working that day was my usual office (it wasnt) because if it were he would "come by to look at me everyday." I get that it was a compliment, but that was kinda creepy and stalkerish.
I will say that I never remember getting a pick up line like the ones that you guys have shared. I would have laughed my butt off!
25Before my husband and I started dating I heard stories about his ridiculous pick up lines, so when he approached me for the first time, offered to buy me a drink, he asked me if I had any hobbies. I laughed in his face.
26I have really unique eyes. They're greenish/grayish/clearish looking. Interesting, I know. Many guys have asked me "Are those your real eyes?" I usually just walk away thinking to myself "Loser!" but what I really want to say is "NO dumb*ss, they're my fake ones!" Geez...lol.
27the classic worst pick up line is "ive lost my phone number, can i have yours?"
no, i lost my phone too...
28The classic "I heard milk does your body good but DANG how much have you been drinking?"
Was quite sick of it by that time so I just replied "Well, I drink about 8 ounces every morning and about two cups with cereal if that counts for drinking, but sometimes I drink soymilk too."
He left.
29"Hey, miss, you dropped something."
(looks around)
"My heart!"
Happened to a friend of mine.
Another one: I was walking with one of my friends and this middle-aged man walks up to us and says "The Miss America contest is around the corner."
Weird!
30this one is dumb: I lost my number can I have yours?
31lol
The guy sat down next to my friend at the bar and told her, "Just so you know I'm all man...the last three girls I slept with got pregnant" As if that would make her want to go out with him, lol!
32The guy sat down next to my friend at the bar and told her, "Just so you know I'm all man...the last three girls I slept with got pregnant" As if that would make her want to go out with him, lol!
33these are all so bad, lol. i'm glad i'm not a guy. okay, in college a guy went around schmozing all over the club and finally oiled his way to our table. my girlfriends and i were all laughing at him and he gets to our table and says "how can i get you to say yes". and my friend said "ask if your bothering me".
i had roommate once who's cousin stayed with us for 2 months (hel-lo) and she actually bought all the lines "where have you been all my life...can i buy you breakfast...are you tired because you've been running through my mind all night" (extra barf). when they never called she would cry her eyes out, till the next idiot with a bad line showed up. ahh memories
34I had a guy ask me if he could take me out to breakfast the next day. I said 'yes' and he smiled and leaned in said 'should I call you or nudge you'.
35When I was 14, I met this really young looking 18 year old...and he said this to me:
"Who is the thief?"
I said, "What?"
He said, "Who is the thief!!??"
I said, "Ummm...I dunno?!"
He said, "The thief that stole the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes."
Oh barf.
36My favorite of all time - and it totally hooked me, by the way - was when a guy I had already been talking to used this line:
"It's a good thing I brought my library card, because I'm checkin' you out!!"
LOL I LOVED IT! Corny pickup lines are great!
37I was at the beach with my sister and we walked past a couple of guys. One said to us "Hey you look like somebody?!" To which I replied "Well we are somebody!" and we kept on walking.
38
This thread is hilarious!
39Once, while waiting in the curbside checkin line for my early morning Christmas flight home, an older baggage handler walked up and told me he played the drums. When I looked at him in confusion, he pointed out that my tee shirt, which said "Looking for my own Little Drummer Boy." I told him he wasn't the one I was looking for.
40Recently, while waiting in line for the bar at a gay dance club, the guy behind me asked if I was there with my boyfriend. When I told him no, there was no boyfriend, he told me I was very pretty and then said "I'm mostly straight." He was hot, but hearing that a guy is mostly straight made my mind go places it shouldn't and was a complete turn off...
Clarient, that is the best pick up line!
41I'm not even that tall compared to most of my family -- 5'11. So guys all the time walk up and ask how tall I am. If they can post me up. And always greet me with the tall glass of water comment. AWFUL!
42Guy: Uh, excuse me?
Me: Yeah?
Guy: Did you trip over a branch on the way here?
Me: What? No.
Guy: How 'bout a root?
BAAHAAAHAA.
43Are you from Tennessee?
44BC you're the only 10 I see!
Last week i was out with some frends when a guy came up to me and said "Hey Darlin you must be really tired"
45I relpied with "Why would that be ?"
He answered with "Cause you've been runnin through my head all day !"
Me and my frends just laughed at him lol xxx
During my Junior year at college, a more than slightly awkward guy approached me with "Do you go to school here as well?" I replied with a hesitant yes, to which he said "I'm ___, I'm double majoring in Handsome and Charming" (of which he pronounced with quite a lisp followed by a few winks).... It must have been his first semester!
46i once had a guy give me a 15 minute presentation on why iushould go out with him...which he finished off with " and i'm rich"..i walked away.
47I have always looked older than I am... I am 18 now, and 7 years ago (when I was 11), this 16-year-old guy sitting across the aisle from me on a plane was like, "Hey, you look like a girl who's got good taste in music, mind if I take a listen?" I looked over at my mom, who was sitting beside me, shrugged, and passed him my headphones... it was Britney Spears' first CD. He passed it back sooooo quickly. THEN, he was like "How old are you? You look 15." and I was like "Nope, I'm 11."
48I just remembered another bad one... I was at a competition for my school and the place was TEEMING with nerds. So this one walks over to me and says "You look very attractive today." and then before I had a chance to say anything he ran (very much in a girly fashion) back to his table...funny, funny, funny!!!
49"Oh baby, I want to check you for ticks"
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