I would go on a second date, but put things on my terms to test him out- Do something semi-cheap and see if he picks up the tab, like going out for coffee or meeting for a drink. Cost shouldn't be an excuse, but if he likes you enough to ask for a second date he'll step up this time. But if he makes you pay for half of your happy meal, ditch him.

I would not be wary of a guy that offered to split. I usually insist on going dutch. However, a poor tipper is definitely not a candidate for a second date.

I would go on a second date. I have no problem putting in my share. But I agree with eaker. If he's a poor tipper, it is definetly not a candidate for a second date (unless the service was bad).

I would be a little weary but at the same time I've never paid for a date so...that's a little new to me. If he initiated the date he should pay though.

Absolutely no second date for me. I still belive in chivalry....

my first instinct would be to say "H*LL TO THE NO!" if a guy i liked tried to make me pay dutch on our first date.

but then i remembered that on my first date with my boyfriend, i got to the movie theater first and bought the tickets and he bought the drinks afterwards so in reality, we really did go dutch. i still didn't like it too much, but everything else turned out well and we continue to go semi-dutch (depending on who just got their paycheck!) when we go out and i actually like it because it doesn't make me feel financially dependent on him.

I chose other and here is why. If it is someone I want to see again than I do let them pay but if I know I don't want to go out with them on insist on going dutch. Bad tippers are not allowed or men that are rude to the wait staff.

I would be weary if he didn't at least offer. I'm like you cubadog, I don't let him pay if I don't want to see him again.

I would go on a second date. What is wrong with paying for your own meal? Women makes money too. You don't want to seem like a golddigger who only dates guys because they will pay for things.

If he asked me to go on a date, I would expect him to pay on the first date. I'm old fashioned I guess. If I asked a guy out, I would go a second date if he wanted to go dutch.

There is nothing wrong with a girl paying, but if the guy asked me out, he should be able to pay for the date. If not, he shouldn't ask me to dinner...and likewise if I ask him out, then I would pay.

i agree with pinupsweetheart. i am all for chivalry but i can pay for things too.

An ex of mine split our first date. Turned out his last GF had gotten angry that he tried to pay for their first date because it was old fashioned etc. I guess sometimes they can't win huh? lol

no second date of course. your date will pay for everything if he's really into you. if he asks you to pay for your share, then he's probably not that into you.

Second date, third, whatever is okay. If he asks you to go dutch that is NO indicator that he's not into you. If you want chivalry then let him buy you flowers or send you balloons, let him open car doors for you, but don't make him the only person to pay for every date. That's tacky and presumptuous of you to think that he's got the kind of money to spend freely. Income should not affect love and affection.

There's no problem in the girl picking up the bill, buuuut if he initiated the date and picked the place, it only makes sense that HE pays, so I'd be kinda weary; it makes me think that I'm foreseeing the future. I'd say no thanks to a second date.

No to a second date. If he asked, he pays. Simple as that. You don't ask someone to go out to dinner, or go to a movie, with you then expect them to pay. The same goes for the girl. If she asked, then she should pay. Chivalry in my mind is not dead.

I think its tacky and presumptuous for a guy to ask me out if he is not going to pay. Would you ask the guy to pay if you asked him out, kiddylnd?

I think on a date the bill should be split. For him to expect me to also pay for his food is rude and I wouldn't let him, I would only put enough money down for half the bill. There would be no second date; he's cheap and I'm not going to be used.

I don't think the guy should always have to pay, but I DO think he should be upfront about it before hand. My husband and I met at a mutual friends party and at the end of the night he said, "I'd really like to see you again, but I don't have a lot of money right now." I really admired his ability to be frank with me and not try to pretend to be someone he's not. We met up, walked and talked for 3 hours, and it was the best first date of my life.

Side note: In the poll above, shouldn't it be "wary" or "leery" instead of "weary?" Unless the guy has worn you out after one date!

I said no. If he asked me to go and he picked the place, I would think he would pay...especialy if it was a first date! That just means later on down the road I'll have to start paying for everything, and that just isn't going to happen

Most likely no... but I wouldn't want to rule it out completely... I wouldn't mind going dutch if the first date was a casual date. But if it wasn't, I would mind lots.

delia - thanks for pointing that out, it's been bugging me.

I am with fab4 and delia. I would take more into consideration though. If things clicked, then I would agree to a second date and make it around, say the first of the month when most people get paid.

I am militant 50 -50 but during the first date if he asks and picks the restaurant he pays and if I ask and pick the restaurant I pay. Regardless I always offer to pay so I do not see anything wrong with paying. In fact, I find it a bit irrational that some of my friends who want equality and make the same of more than the men they are courting get bent out of shape when the man does not always pay. I don't get it.

No. If he asked me out then he should be prepared to pay. Then again I've never had to pay for a date, so being asked to is new territory for me.

This happened to me!
A guy i was 'friends w/ benefits' finally asked me out on an actual date. i turned him down 3 times cause i didn't think he was boyfriend material. finally i caved. when the check came it was only like 50$ and he wanted to split it. i was like 'um okay'. after that i never talked to him again.

Since he initiated - he pays. I might handle the tip, but a girl likes to be treated nicely...

I say no- I am totally old fashioned too!

This actually happend to me!! different scenario though but i still had to pay...ugh turned me off completly. I dont always expect a guy to pay but on this ocassion it was different. as stephanie from full house would say "How rude!"

or was that michelle? lol

I have a boyfriend that ever since we've been together we pay together. We never split the bill, but sometimes I buy, and sometimes he buys. I think that is okay but never on the first date is it okay for the guy to ask you to pay for your own, especially when he asked you.

Im with Dear...NO WAY!

My frist date ever, we went to Outback Steakhouse, I was 16...my date, 3 years older...he said he caled and asked if they took checks, but they didn't! I had to pay for both of your dinners! I was smitten though, and, i ended up paying for almost everything the whole time we dated. he was a money wh*re and turnedout cheating, lying scum.

That is an indicator of character for me now haha. If they don't pay for the first date, it shows me they didn't plan ahead and put any thought at all into the date, which means, no thanks!

First and foremost - it's "wary," not "weary." I've seen a lot of this lately, and I'm pretty sure it's a mishmash of "wary" and "leery," either of which would work. Haha, English major attack, sorry DearSugar!

That said, I picked no, but ONLY because he asked. If I asked, I would pay, plain and simple. If you're taking someone on a date, you're doing just that. You can't be sure that the place you've picked is even affordable to the person (even if you're in the same position at work...you never know what their debt looks like) and you should be able and willing to pay, the end.

Now, once you're into a relationship, it makes sense (to me) to either take turns, or have the person who makes more pay more often. But that's after you've established all of that information that you need...so you know, for example, that if you want to go somewhere really fancy but your SO can't afford it, you can take him and insist that you pay.

my current boyf and i totally go dutch now. for one, i amke more money than him (way more) and he is still in school, but he won't allow me to pay for him, unless it is a special occassion, like, i took himout for his b-day or i splurge and we go to the movies and i pay befor ehe can stop me. he treats for special occassions in his eyes, and, when he wants to be romantic. since i know how little he makes, it totally makes it worth it.

haha, but he has said on many occassions that once he gets a real job, i am getting spoiled big time, so i can't wait! (oh, adn he paid for the first date haha)

Definitely not! If he initiates the first date, and asks YOU out, HE should pay! If I asked a guy out, I would pay because it was ME who was asking!

Nope. If he invited me on a date, not just a dinner out together, he pays. The same would apply if I asked him on a date. Waiting until the bill comes to mention "Oh yeah, we're going dutch" is just tacky beyond words.

IMO, the girl should be the one to offer to split if she wants to. Generally the person who asks someone on a date implies that they will pay, especially in the beginning. The bf and I split everything now except for birthdays and anniversaries.

yes i would go out again if i liked him, i have no problem paying may way-im not out for a sugar daddy

I thnk it really depends on the guy and what you know about him. If it seems he's only wanting to yout o pay because he's cheap, then no second date.

no i wouldnt