We've all been there. That angry, envious, kind of sad and resentful feeling that builds up inside us when we see our boyfriend talking to his gorgeous new neighbor. Or if a co-worker gets the promotion you should have gotten. Jealously is a horrible feeling, and it can turn us into mean and obnoxious people. Even though these feelings are normal and sometimes unavoidable, we can end up doing or saying something we regret later.
Being jealous is not an attractive personality trait, and it has a lot to do with our own insecurities about how confident we feel about ourselves, our abilities, or our relationships. Here are some tips on overcoming jealousy:
- If you are feeling jealous, and it has to do with a friend or boyfriend giving someone else attention, talk to them about it. Many times people are unaware of how their actions make others feel, so being honest is always a safe road to travel.
- Lack of trust may be causing you to have jealous feelings. If your boyfriend goes out without you and you're worried about other girls or that he may not make all the right decisions, your jealousy is only a symptom. Take those feelings as signs that it's time to get to the root of these fears.
Want to hear the other tips? Then read more
- Fear of getting hurt is another reason many people get jealous. Perhaps an ex left you for someone else, or a girlfriend or family member broke your trust -- because it has happened in the past, it doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again. Emotions such as depression, anger and hurt can be masks of jealousy so make sure to keep the lines of communication open
- We all have insecurities about ourselves, but if you let your self-conscience get the best of you, you'll always be jealous of other people and their happiness. Focus on building up your self-esteem, and make healthy changes that will make you feel better about yourself. When you feel confident and happy about your life, you'll be less likely to constantly compare yourself to others.
- Focus on the positive. Maybe you're jealous that someone makes more money than you, or someone has a better job, or a happier marriage - whatever it is - try to focus on what you do have and remember, you can't always judge a book by its cover
Dear's Advice: If by chance your jealous feelings get out of hand and you yell at someone or do something you regret, it's never to late to make amends. Apologize to the person and explain why you acted that way and be understanding if the shoe is on the other foot.









Repetto
Citizens of Humanity
Maine New England
I tend to be envious more than jealous, and only re: very odd things. Like I'm envious of friends that get to live abroad.
1I admit that I get jealous/envious (like that word popgoestheworld!!) every now and then, but usually over little relationship things...friendships and relationship(w/the bf)..
I really don't get jealous of material things that people get cuz psssshhh...if I really wanted something I'd save up and go get it myself..
it's more like....hmm...well here's an example: if a friend/aquantiance starts getting REALLY close with my bestfriend..I get a little jealous because I have to share the bestfriend-ness...if that makes sense? Or if someone I know starts "stealing" my friends away to hang out with, when I was the one that introduced them to begin with...that kinda makes me feel sucky too...(though I'm not sure why)...
And as for bf...I tend to get ENVIOUS of certain things in our relationship..like he if spends so much time with other people and I'm kinda just.."there" hanging out in the background...I feel like I'm invisible and I get envious of the attention he's giving everyone but me...esp in an unfamiliar social setting (I'm not as outgoing as him).
Or, if he tells me stories of his ex and some of the cool/wonderful things they did...I get envious that I won't ever get a chance to do that because it's already been done and I don't want to do the same things with him as she did...
Or if I see pictures and he looks so happy with his ex, but I look at ours and he just looks blah..it makes me envious and I feel like I can't give him the same type of happiness as he looks like he had when he was with her. =/
(don't worry, I've talked with him about this and I know I have nothing to worry about and I know he's happy...I usually feel like this when I'm PMSing and thinking too much =P lol)
It's those sorts of things...a lot more the emotional than material things...
2but I work through them...I try not to let the green eyed monster get the best of me cuz in the end, I love my life, my friends, and my boyfriend so why would I wanna ruin it with arguements? =)
Eberyone has something great to offer. It just so happens that one woman/man could be perfect in that area of lie you or the other woman what's to perfect so bad....
3I wouldn't say I get jelous easy, I'm just a very self concious person.
OMG Miya! I am the same way when I am pmsing..haha TMI I know but I start thinking about everything and get ever more self concious =P
4Oh I am such a jealous b*tch sometimes. My ex wasn't allowed to LOOK at other girls, let alone talk to them.
Maybe that's why we broke up. Hmmm...
5i'm having an issue with jealousy right now in terms of a new employee at my work getting all the attention that i used to get from my boss. he used to be my mentor & now i feel as though she's taken over as his new favourite & it's driving me nuts! i used to get all the extra responsibility & now he's beginning to assign her more and more tasks. it's driving me nuts! hopefuly the advice in here helps cuz i'm beginning to act intimidatingly towards her & i dont want it to affect my job performance.
6p.s. if anyone has any advice to my post please just reply to it below! thanks
I'm extremely self conscious and with that it makes me a very jealous person. I don't like being that way but I have been for so long, it's extremely hard to change.
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