We've all been there. That angry, envious, kind of sad and resentful feeling that builds up inside us when we see our boyfriend talking to his gorgeous new neighbor. Or if a co-worker gets the promotion you should have gotten. Jealously is a horrible feeling, and it can turn us into mean and obnoxious people. Even though these feelings are normal and sometimes unavoidable, we can end up doing or saying something we regret later.

Being jealous is not an attractive personality trait, and it has a lot to do with our own insecurities about how confident we feel about ourselves, our abilities, or our relationships. Here are some tips on overcoming jealousy:

  • If you are feeling jealous, and it has to do with a friend or boyfriend giving someone else attention, talk to them about it. Many times people are unaware of how their actions make others feel, so being honest is always a safe road to travel.
  • Lack of trust may be causing you to have jealous feelings. If your boyfriend goes out without you and you're worried about other girls or that he may not make all the right decisions, your jealousy is only a symptom. Take those feelings as signs that it's time to get to the root of these fears.

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  • Fear of getting hurt is another reason many people get jealous. Perhaps an ex left you for someone else, or a girlfriend or family member broke your trust -- because it has happened in the past, it doesn't necessarily mean it will happen again. Emotions such as depression, anger and hurt can be masks of jealousy so make sure to keep the lines of communication open
  • We all have insecurities about ourselves, but if you let your self-conscience get the best of you, you'll always be jealous of other people and their happiness. Focus on building up your self-esteem, and make healthy changes that will make you feel better about yourself. When you feel confident and happy about your life, you'll be less likely to constantly compare yourself to others.
  • Focus on the positive. Maybe you're jealous that someone makes more money than you, or someone has a better job, or a happier marriage - whatever it is - try to focus on what you do have and remember, you can't always judge a book by its cover

Dear's Advice: If by chance your jealous feelings get out of hand and you yell at someone or do something you regret, it's never to late to make amends. Apologize to the person and explain why you acted that way and be understanding if the shoe is on the other foot.

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