I agree. Trade that one in and use some of the cash to purchase a new and unique ring for your new love. If you love her so much, then you should love her enough to buy something special for her. Why did you keep the old engagement ring in the first place?

Please don't use the old ring. She's going to wear this ring the rest of her life, and if she finds out you picked it out for another girl she WILL NOT be happy. I wouldn't even reset the stones; I would trade in the ring you have and get a completely new ring. You don't want to carry over any baggage from your other engagement.

agree 100% with Dear's advice. DON'T, DON'T, DON'T give your girlfriend a used ring!

how would you like it if she gave you an old boyfriend's clothes that she had but, hey, he never used it so why not??? Actually, clothes and an engagement ring aren't even in the same stratosphere so maybe that's a bad analogy but hopefully you get what i'm saying, right?

Trade the old in for the new and get a new ring for your new fiance. You'll deal with a heck of a lot of unnecessary guilt and a VERY furious girlfriend if you decide to give her a ring meant for another woman. You know what you need to do...good luck!

NO!
You goddamn cheapskate.

What if she ever found out?! Urgh.

OMG DONT DO IT- that is so tacky. How would YOU feel wearing a ring that some other guy has worn? It's TAINTED!!

DON'T DO IT!
and lol @ nicachica's comment XD

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!! You had reasons for buying that ring right!? Those reasons were all about your old girl!! Do any of those reasons make sense for your new girl? Even if she doesn't ever find out, you should feel bad for not caring about her enough. If a guy ever did that to me, I would be EXTREMELY offended!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes the guy (to me at least) seem like he still might not be over the old girl and is hanging on to a memory, doesn't even care about his new girls feelings and what she likes (design of the ring???), and is just lazy (if he is this lazy about such an important thing, what else will he not bother to do???). This stuff probably doens't apply to you hopefully, but if that happened to me, that is all the stuff I would be thinking. That ring has sooooooooo much meaning, and the one you have now doesn't have any meaning for the new girl, its all about the old girl. If I ever knew my guy did that to me, I would probably say I wouldn't marry him because it would make me so mad, and I would then be thinking about all the problems I just said before that could be opened up because of this incident (although I have been known to overreact sometimes). That is just plain rude and unthoughtful to your girlfriend whether she ever ends up knowing about it or not.

i dont think it would be the BEST idea ever... but im sure you could take the ring you have now somewhere and sell it and get a NEW DIFFERENT one for the girl you are with now!

I can't believe all the Noes here. The price of a diamond engagement ring is so ridiculously high, I don't see why he shouldn't re-use it. He'll never get the money he spent on it back. And to comment on what DearSugar said... the ring didn't bring him bad luck the first time around, objects aren't lucky charms.
If you don't think your future bride will like the idea though (see if there is a way you can ask her about it first), I'd suggest maybe getting the stone reset at a jeweler, possibly the one where you originally bought the ring.

Good Luck.

Oread is right - he'll only get a small fraction of the money he spent back. When you trade in or resell a ring, the jeweler only considers the stones and not the setting or labor which is included in the retail price. And the ring doesn't "belong" to someone else. His past girlfriend isn't defined by that stone. It may have been intended for someone else, but he reset the stone to personalize for his current relationship. A relationship and marriage isn't based on what ring a girl gets. The ring is just the beginning, and what matters is the marriage that follows.

I don't get why not..It's just a freaking ring..

You may not get the full price back for the ring, but I would caution you against using it again. My best friends fiance was engaged before he met her, and he used that ring for trade in value on her ring. He was up front about it with her, and the ring she has fits her more then the other one would have. (I've seen both of them.) Please get her a ring that she would love and can show off with no negative feedback involved if others found out.

NO you cannot give the love of your life a ring intended for someone else. I don't care if it is in a new setting that isn't the point.

No, you have to buy a new ring.

Definitely get a new ring. If you can't afford a new ring, then wait. Doesn't matter if the stone is reset or whatever.

Trade it for another ring. Who wants a recycled ring?

No....... it's a different girl and she should get a different ring not something that was meant for someone else.

you can if you are absolutely sure that she will never find out that it was given to someone else first. also, you better give her a pair of matching earrings, a necklace and a bracelet. that way, if by some strange reason, she finds out, you have something to back on.
i agree with the girls saying "it's just a freaking ring" and i think that diamonds are insanely expensive (not to mention immoral unless you happened to get an environmentally friendly conflict-free ring) but as we can see here, women are crazy. any mention of another woman and we will become irrational, crying or yelling (combo of both usually) crazies.
congrats on the upcoming engagement and good luck with the wedding planning!

for the record, my ring was from a used discount store...someone else wore it before me. i still love it and think that it's beautiful. it's the thought that counts for me with these kinds of things.

I say, actually, keep the stone and have it re-set into a different ring. Since you bought it a few years ago, you can probably afford to be more extravagant than before, so have a jeweler take the stones out and do a different setting with them. Maybe add more stones... Or, if there were baguettes with the first ring, take the baguettes out and turn them into earrings to go with the newly designed ring.

If it were me, I would want it to be traded in and use the money towards a new one. It would freak me out to have an ex's ring.
I think your girlfriend would probably be much happier with a smaller ring that is only for HER, than a bigger ring that someone else wore, pledging their love to you.

It's the thought that counts...and if you bought that first ring with thoughts of your ex in mind, you really shouldn't be giving it to your new girl.

I love my ring because it was made especially for me and it's definitely not environmentally friendly nor is it conflict-free. I think my ring is the most beautiful thing i've ever seen because mine came from the man i love(who hand-picked and designed it himself) and that's what is important to me. I do agree it is the thought that counts but the thought and the intention was for another woman. IMHO it totally loses the whole sentiment behind giving it. Personally I would definitely not want or feel comfortable wearing someone else's ring......period.

When you purchase an expensive diamond and the engagement doesn't work out, it's considered acceptable to have the stone reset into a new ring for a new engagement. A ring and a stone do not make a marriage- the love and commitment that you make to one another make a marriage. You'll never get the money back that you spent on it if you resell it, and at this point in your life it's more important to save for the future rather than lose a few grand just so your girlfriend doesn't have some kind of princess fit about the origins of the ring.

If you choose to have the stone reset into a new ring, make sure you have it reappraised at a jeweler that you trust. That way, when you have the ring insured the dates of the appraisal will be recent and it won't arouse any suspicion with your fiance.

It's not worth the risk of finding out. The ring works as a symbol that you plan to be devoted to her for the rest of your life. If she finds out it was also used to pledge that devotion to another woman, it will not go over well.

The only acceptable option is keeping the diamond and getting it with a new setting. I don't think that's so bad, especially since you will bet getting the setting with your new fiance's taste in mind.

NO NO NO. believe me if my boyfriend proposed to me with a ring he had used to propose to another women I am not sure I could find it in my heart to forgive him. Sell the ring and buy a new one, will save you a heck of a lot of trouble.

Why don't you just sell the old one and take the money and buy the girl a brand new ring. duh!

lol @ princess fit. thank god i'm a chick and i don't have to date women.

please don't use the ring - she will find out sometime and feel like she isn't worthy of something new. some jewlers will even take the current setting and change it for you.

NO NO NO NO! If you must at least put the stone in a new setting.

I agree with pop...you could keep the diamond and get a new setting and add in new stones if you really do not want to trade it in

I would have it apprased for the value and trade it in for another ring that fits your new girls personality.

p.s I would be very upset if I found out later down the road if the ring on my finger was really for another girl.

I think you should communicate with your girlfriend about it and ASK HER her opinion! Tell her you love her and want to marry her, and want to get her a special ring; and that you have a ring from a previous engagement but you don't want to give her that ring, and what would she like to do? I'm sure she would love to have a say in creating a new ring together!

My heart stopped when I read this, my boyfriend was engaged to another girl just two years ago so I've given this predicament some thought. I know diamonds are expensive but I could never accept the ring that he had for his ex-fiancé (I know it's still around and I’ve heard it’s beautiful).

You might lose money in trading it in, but do it anyways. If you try to give her the old ring, you know that eventually she would find out. Why start of an engagement/marriage with a secret like that?

vmruby, are you saying you're proud of wearing a conflict diamond?

I'd suggest getting the stone reset. I wouldn't break up with my boyfriend if he gave me a 'used' ring, but I would defiantly be hurt (esp. if I found out about the ring's history myself!), and it would make me think twice about accepting the proposal at said time.

OMG. NO! How would you feel if she gave you a wedding ring from her last marriage? That's unforgivable.

She should be allowed to choose her own ring, she's the one who is going to be wearing it for the rest of her life after all??

pk9000....... are you trying to start a debate here with me? What's your point?

What would he feel like if she said to him, oh... you don't mind if now we're engaged we use the ring my ex bought me do you?

vmruby, I'm not trying to start anything. I just found it very surprising when you commented about your diamond and how "it's definitely not environmentally friendly nor is it conflict-free."

ok .....not to sound ignorant, but honestly i have no idea what the significance is in reference to a conflict free or environmentaly friendy diamond, i was just stating a fact about mine. Another poster mentioned it on a different thread a few weeks ago and i never bothered to ask what it meant.It was the first time i had ever heard that.I apologize if i came off a little rough but there are alot of people around here who enjoy the hell out of riling other folks up when they don't see things their way and i'm not into arguing about my opinions(or someone elses)with anyone.

I say do not trade it in. I think the best way to go about this without breaking the bank is to have the diamond re-set in a new band. That way, its a still a new ring and you only have to shell out a few bills. Its better to have a semi-new ring and a down payment for a new house than just a new ring.

*deposits 0.02 cents*

No worries, vmruby. I just wanted to be sure I wasn't misunderstanding you.

Conflict diamonds, or blood diamonds, come from areas in Africa controlled by rebel organizations that oppose internationally recognized governments. They exploit the areas where the diamonds come from and use the revenue they generate to fund bloody wars. This problem became world known after brutal conflicts in Sierra Lionne in the 1990s. Basically, a lot of people died because of these diamonds. Today only about 1% of diamonds are conflict diamonds because of changes by the UN to ensure diamond revenue supports recognized governments.

some general sources:
http://www.diamondfacts.org/conflict/index.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict_diamonds

i agree with dear. i would say either cash in the ring for some money and buy a new one...or you can even just use the diamonds and put them in a completely different setting. the diamonds are the most expensive part of the ring in the first place, so just get a new setting that is catered to your new woman.

"Advice is what you ask for when you already know the answer and wish you didn't." -Erica Jong

You already know there's something not quite right with repackaging an engagement ring... you don't need us to tell you. Take Dear's advice and have the diamond exchanged.

I agree with DearSugar. I would be so hurt if I found out my husband did that.

For any woman who may read this....my fiance (or would be fiance) just gave me a ring with a diamond that he had reset from his last engagement. From the moment he put the ring on my finger, it didn't feel right. WHen I confronted him about it, he told me that it was from a past relationship. I can't even begin to tell you how much that hurt me. I can't wear the ring. Every time I see it, I just think OMG...another woman that he was with had this ring on her finger. Spend the money and buy a new ring

How weird reading that bc my boyfriend (of 2 and a half years) was engaged to his ex fiance prior to us getting together & he took the ring back from her after they split & just let it sit in the closet for the longest...until one day I had enough of looking at it & told him he better trade it in for something I want since the ring he bought her would be no use for me. At the time I was furious & thought why the hell would he hang on to it or what was the point? He claimed he held onto it bc he "paid so much" but I know he didn't at all it was an anniversary ring, not an engagement as he claims. He also later mentioned he could've traded it in for another ring if a relat. ever got that far for him to be engaged again. I thought it was b.s & back to Shaw's it went in trade my my way gorgeous diamond necklace. BUT I must say...now that that was 2 years ago, I should have just kept the ring & got it resized (as he suggested) bc after all Diamond are just that. All I know is if we ever split, I would NEVER be THAT dumb enough to give him diamons back. I've never hated a man that much
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