I have the same problem. I was kinda upset at first, because I never thought my boyfriend would watch porn. I told him to stop watching ti and he agreed, but I know he still has some in his computer. I've asked him to watch it with me but he seems to embarrassed to. I'm sure he doesn't love porn more than you though. It's just as my boyfriend said that the porn is a fantasy and it's not something he knows he can get and he's super happy to have me, a real person. Don't worry, he loves you. =)

i agree with the thing about guys not wanting to have sex all the time. sometimes i just think that we women can be really horny.

do we really need to answer "my boyfriend looks at porn and i don't like it" questions every week?

my boyfriend has only looked at naked pics, not porn (atleast that i am aware of haha)...you know, like boobs or whatever. And, he went to a strip club once with a friend and said it wasn't his thing. I am so happy because i would feel the same as the writer with the problem. I just hope it stays this way!

I went through this exact same thing with my ex, and it went on for 2 years. Constantly worrying about it. Constantly feeling insecure and like it was ME that was ruining our sex life. It turned out he was actually a sex addict.

If he hasn't listened to you and stopped, I'm afraid he's probably never going to. It's not fair. It's an outside intrusion on your relationship that he's unwilling to give up, and it's disrespectful.

There is a difference between "my boyfriend looks at porn and I don't like it" and "it's ruining our sex life and our relationship because he won't stop". You have every right to be upset, and every right to ask him to stop.

There is a difference between looking at it every once and a while and having it be healthy, than having it disrupt your sex life, sanity, and relationship.

There is also a difference between porn "attraction" and porn "addiction".

Bluejeanie-- despite this sounding like an old topic, i think it is an important one for us to discuss and come to terms with. Men's love of porn is one of those things that women and men do not see eye-to-eye on, so it is something that many women will need the support of other women to get through. Just saying it's the perfect topic for women to discuss.

lila, it's discussed almost every week and it's boring.

Sheesh. I don't think I've had a boyfriend that didn't have a porn stash somewhere around the house.

Some women like watching porn too. Don't forget that.

Well yeah women like porns too. I certainly do but I like all the soft stuffs. I don't like anything hard, aggressive or strange..not into pain either..perhaps your boyfriend and you need to discuss variety of porns on the market and which one turns you on and which one don't?

Tell your boyfriend also a lot porn stars have had 10 or more surgeris to enhance their bodies. Real women don't look like that!

It is not my experience that the words 'porn' and 'love' equate in the context of any sincere sentence or thought. To consider it as such is a logical fallacy, one well-capable of unconsciously permitting a man to brush aside the claim with little serious consideration. Do you have sex, or do you make love?

Porn is about getting off, a 'quick fix,' a clean and easy means in obtaining a good shot of dopamine in the brain, a drug which can bind men in the absence of a more suitable alternative to the fix.

Consider how you might replace his need for porn for a more suitable alternative.

This must be a burden for you.I hope you could resolve this problem.But in reality you can't change nobody unless they seek for your help first.Just keep that in mind.

I know this is such an old topic but I really have to ask...

Is it true that men MUST look at porn or check out other girls on the street? Is it supposed to be this impulsive instinct in men that they don't have any control over?

It really makes me feel really insecure too and I feel like asking him not to do it doesn't help - he just does it secretly and it makes me trust him about it even less!

ha ha i love how people are getting bored with the topic of porn. I think its becoming such an issue in relationships now because of all the technology. Even though we might be talking it to death, this is a real prob in so many relationships. I mean think about how many people are affected by porn. One of my good friends just got divorced. One of the major probs in the relationship was the porno on the computer. She has kids, they were always getting nasty pop-ups on the computer. Thats disturbing for a child to see. So not only is the woman feeling insecure blah blah but other people in the family are affected too. Honestly, I think men need to keep it out of sight completly. I'd rather not know what my man was looking out and for the sake of the children, look at it on the work computer or something lol. Out of sight out of mind.

He looks at it because it is there.....20 years ago he would have a few videos or a couple of Juggs magz. It's so available to them Man!! They jsut can't help but peek at it as often as they can. You want more sex than take it honey mhe's not gonna turn you down... porn is fawsome foreplay right??tee hee

One night I worked really late and the next morning my son opened the DVD player and there was a porn in it! Then a few weeks later I was asleep on the couch and woke up to him watching porn! I would say at this time we were maybe doing it like 1 time every two weeks. I was extremely heated about the situation! Well I thought that there was something wrong with me or my body and I asked him what was wrong with me? He said nothing and then I ask what was wrong with him he said nothing! So that is when I asked him what is the deal why do you watch porn and never pay attention to me? So ever since then he hasnt watched it that I know of and we might have sex once a week now.

I think if your sex life is fulfilling and you both are attracted to each other, porn can be something you watch together as long as its for a mood maker or a form of foreplay and you "finish" with each other. It's totally normal to fantasize in fact i do it often when my man and I are having sex. It's not that i dont love him or dont think hes hot, its just a nice way to spice things up. A nice variety without being unfaithful.

I dont mind that my husband watches porn cause we watch it together, and hes always been faithful, so who cares what he watches???

I can see both sides of the argument. It bothers a lot of women.

While porn may be a problem for some women, just remember: it's better than him sleeping with OTHER WOMEN. Porn is safe because the women are merely regarded as sexual objects.. there is no emotional connection to them at all.

Don't be surprised if he doesn't want to watch porn with you. I agree with laurent.. porn is a quick fix.

Plus, also try to think about how long you have been together now. Science says that the "love" (ie wanting sex all of the time) hormone only lasts for about a year in a relationship. There's a reason why couples are always complaining about how the frequency of sex drops or stops completely. People move into that comfort zone in the relationship.

In general, if you want him to have sex with you more often, just jump him! When you moved to fix the situation before, he obviously responded. Don't let his love of porn make your self esteem drop. I'm sure you're a confident, beautiful woman, so go ahead and dominate.

I understand what your going through here is the thing I don't think we can ever change it. And to be honest with you it doesn't both me that he looks, its that he feels he has to hide it. and not because of me but i think that in past relationships he had to hide it. It bothers me really bad sometimes and I have just come to terms that hes gonna do it.but i set boundaries I don't care if he looks as long as he doesn't hide it.
I hope it works out for u

Good Luck

PS
Its never an old subject we need to be supportive

I agree with the comment of it is better than him sleeping with another girl. But when the female is getting nothing out of the sexual part of the relationship and the male is watching porn all of the time it makes us wonder. When I realized that he was watching porn without me and I was not even getting what I wanted more than 1 time a week I personally got worried and started to ask questions.

I just want to say this because this is what my BF told me and it made me feel alot better. He had this sports illistrated model on his phone as a screen saver and it really bothered me so I asked him why he had it if he thought she was prettier than me or something. He said No Shes not even real Shes all fake and even if she is pretty on the outside on the inside from all the diets and having to keep her body ta look that way she is not beautiful on the inside at ALL. He told me that I was more Beautiful inside and out because i'm not one bit fake and you know what after I told him how it made me feel he took her off his phone and changed it for me. Now wasn't that sweet hehehe awww but honestly don't feel affended by those models and sh*t they all are fake YOUR BEAUTIFUL AND EVERYWAY TELL YOURSELF THAT!!!! hope I helped.

Porn often creates an unsatisfying sex life fro both partners. It creates unrealistic standards. It won't get any better until he drops it. If he is rejecting your advances and wants his porn instead, then dump him. He is cheating you out of a healthy sex life and stunting his potential for intimacy.

My SO watches porn, and so do I on occasion, it has never threatened our sex life nor my self-esteem. The problem is the poster equates her value with his lack of libido and assumes it is the porn. Perhaps there is another issue she should consider. Maybe the boyfriend finds her insecurity unattractive, maybe he's tired, or ninety other possible reasons.

Until she initiates a frank, adult discussion about the lack of sex and reasons for it, she'll never know, but blame porn, continue to snoop on him, and lose confidence.

Also, she's pissed and writing to Dear Sugar because she unable/afraid to confront him with the reality of her snooping behind his back. Seems like that could put a snag in the sex life, or realtionship, as well.

Maybe I'm a little over confident about this. But I know he loves me more then his porn..if he even has any which I wouldn't doubt.

Wow, I am dealing with tis right now and it was great to hear everyones view......but please remeber there are women out there that are not as confident as others and we all deal with thing at different times in our lifes. I am glad I ran across this today.

My husband and i used to watch at porn together then i started to become insecure. My husband got a brilliant idea. He took naughty pictures of me, it did miracles for our sex life. We have never been so turned on. My advice get some Victoria secret undies, a digital camera, a nice bottle of wine for courage and let him take some pictures. If he still rather look at other woman after that, that's his problem.

I am so sick & tired of porn being an issue in my relationship. My boyfriend is always on some website and it doesn t matter where I am.I will go upstairs for a bath and I hear him on the laptop and I know he will be looking at Juggworld or some other stupid porn site. I am constantly checking the history (which he deletes but forgets to delete the google search)I cant talk to him cos he says I am paranoid. Why do I feel so insecure! He is faithful to me and I trust him with other women. But the porn is a problem! I know I will never look like the women on those sites (and who would want to) and we have a active sex life.

I've been having the same exact problem. My boyfriend (who I've been dating for about 7 months now) is constantly watching porn on his computer. At first I was okay with it (I mean, come on, it's just porn...no big deal). But eventually it turned into a big deal. Instead of having sex with me or wanting to be physical with me, he would turn to his porn videos instead. He would rather masturbate than do anything with me. What's up with this? He's had anxiety and OCD most of his life, and says that he likes being able to control how long he goes, etc. as well as it doesn't make him feel dirty like sex (the "sex juices" and sweating, etc.)

I don't know what to do. We haven't been having sex much at all lately, and it's leaving me unsatisfied. Not to mention, he seems totally uninterested in me, and yet he checks out girls along the street and in public places we go.