It's unfortunate that a lot of guys are like this! Where are the good ones at?!

I agree. Leave. He's trying to have the parts he wants of a relationship while having the freedom and label of being single.

You can do better. Like someone who gives a dang about you!

Sugar is right. I have to wonder if you live in Cali, here in L.A., "if it happens, it happens", "Because of my career, I just don't want to get involved right now", etc, etc are the chain of responses you'll get.

Newsflash for him: if you're sleeping together, if you talk nearly everyday, and if you have an implied date every weekend, he's your boyfriend whether he likes it or not. If he doesn't like it, you need to take a step back. I know it's painfully old fashioned, but think about it from his perspective, if he gets all the "Goodies" that come with a relationship but doesn't have to deal with the struggles, what is his motivation to change the situation? He'll never commit at this rate and why should he? He already got what he wanted. I say either he accepts that he is your boyfriend and this is going somewhere or leave him. Men use woman naturally, and treating us like a salad bar -- taking what they like, and leaving what they don't is common. You're all or nothing. You deserve someone who feels about you the same way you feel about him.

I agree with everyone above. It seems like all he wants at this point is a call girl...tell him that he can find one on the street corner if that's what he's looking for. It seems like all those phone calls and dates are really hiding an alterior motive...to be able to sleep with you at little to no commitment. Honestly? I would tell him, "Look, I had my fun with you but unless you're serious, there's the door." Please, there are MANY more fish out there.

u said u hold off from doing nice things for him, wel mayb he thinks ur the one who isnt that botherd about committing so is cool on ur relashionship, y dont u try the opposite of what ur doing now and see if that works. talk to him about it too and see what he thinks, u dont have anything to lose.

Ugh who has TIME for this crap? Dump him now. All this guy wants is a booty call.

To answer your question - the only thing you're doing wrong is pining over some guy who isn't into you.

junebug- i was thinking the same thing! especially in regards to it having to do with 'his career.'

i had the same situation with a guy i was 'dating exclusively'(his words) for months, but we couldn't be bf/gf cause of his job. turns out he was sleeping around town with everyone. winner. my advice is to get out of it, i wish i had followed my gut and done the same. i'm now with an amazing man who loves to call me his girlfriend and couldn't be happier. good luck!

Here's an idea... STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM!

He wants to have his cake and eat it too. If you want to be exclusive and he doesn't, you won't be happy. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't make you happy?

DUMP HIM!

Well, I don't think he has some nerve sleeping over if he doesn't want to be exclusive. He's just taking what's being offered to him, isn't he. So it all comes down to you. And I'm with everyone else on this one. STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM.

You aren't doing anything wrong. To use that old but very wise saying: He's just not that into you.

I totally agree Marci! I was going to say the same exact thing. It sounds like this guy has been nothing but honest... you just don't like what you are hearing from him.

I would step way back and start looking for another guy. Go on some dates. Maybe that will give this guy a wake up call and he'll realize how great you are. Or maybe not, and maybe one of your dates will end up being amazing. Either way, I don't think you have anything to lose.

Here it is.... I got one rule if I am having sex with your ass we are exclusive or you are not sleeping with anyone else. at this date and age it ain't safe. Anyway, I am hoping you have told him straight out that you want to be exclusive.....I can't tell by what you said. Have you discussed other partners? It is important you KNOW this and then dump his ass.....

It sounds to me like it's time for the "At this point in my life, I only want to sleep with someone I am in a relationship with..." speech. If that's not the truth, have casual sex... just not with him.

don't let yourself be walked all over. if he's not jumping at the chance of being with you exclusively, after sharing all the boyfriends and girlfriends do, then lose him...cause he pretty much is your boyfriend, he just thinks labeling it allows him to screw around or walk away, without feeling bad.

sorry, i meant NOT* labeling it

The simple truth is, guys know relationship material pretty quick. If he hasn't committed by now, don't bother...he is not available. He maintains what he has with you because its convenient...you nurture him, entertain him, and keep him sexually satisfied. I would be worried, personally, that there is more than one of you.

The book "He's Just Not That Into You" comes to mind. It's applied to a situation I was in before, and yes, it's painful, but keep looking. The right guy will come along (but only if you're not wasting your time pining away for the wrong ones).

he sounds like a total jerk. get rid of him.

Sounds like this guy is being absolutely honest with her. If she doesn't like what she hears or its not working for her, then its time to go. There is nothing wrong with either of them. This guy doesn't sound like a jerk or a player, she needs to take responsibilty for her own feelings and recognize that there is an inequality in this relationship. I am in the same situation right now, however the difference is, I agree with the "let's see what happens" logic.

Men are not the same as women. Sometimes they need time to make sure they are making the right steps and commitment, especially if they have a haunting past. Ask him about his past relationships and you might realize why he feels it's necessary to take things so slowly. I have just been through this exact thing, I gave him my trust and patience and it worked out just fine. Now we are living together and have a healthy relationship. One day he just woke up and realized that there was no reason to be afraid and that he did really want to be in a relationship with me. So, if you love him and care about him, you have to take a risk and see what happens. It's possible it could end up he doesn't want to be with you, but I suggest you follow your gut instincts and watch his actions carefully. Make sure there is a constant open dialogue.