Well in a nutshell, I feel like a total failure. I have always been the kind of person that gets good grades, sets high goals, and is fairly competitive. The thing is I have never completely failed. For some reason, things just aren't going so well post college. I have been struggling to find a good job and it seems everything (grad school, jobs, fellowships) I apply to sends me a big fat rejection letter. It hurts most because I was not worried about success at all, I was 100% confident. I believed in my self, in my skills, and most of all I believed I worked hard (which I did). I know envy is a horrible characteristic to have and that is why I am trying to rid myself of it, but I have to be honest...I am very very envious of people right now. Not so much of my friends, but friends of friends kind of things. It stings to go through myspace or facebook (which I feel is becoming unhealthy for me so I maybe need to stop) and see great jobs and great graduate programs on their profiles. It makes me feel worse. I want to be happy for other's success and I want to motivate myself but I don't know where to begin.

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