Ok, I hope that your husband is just sitting around while all of this is going on in front of him. This is his sister, but he should be man enough to stand up and defend you in these kinds of situations. "To honor and respect," is part of the vows...so he should do something about that. If you attempt to sit down and talk to her, it might cause an even bigger rift between you two. Perhaps a meeting with you, her and your husband would work out?

Don't tolerate repeated bad behavior towards you from anyone. Once you do, they'll never stop.

I think the key is to let her know you won't listen to it or entertain a thing she says. Remove yourself from her the instant she says anything that you don't like. It doesn't have to be a big scene. Just leave the room. No big drama. Simply tell her you don't like to be spoken to that way and go into the other room.

And if your husband is sitting back and watching this happen, he should be ashamed of himself. You should come first, sister or not.

I have the same problem with my sister in law....I say, just distance yourself.

I didn't read this article. Ooops. I want that lady's hair!!! It's so cute!

Well, remember not to take her attacks personally. You're definitely the bigger person here. You don't have to put up with her crap, and I certainly wouldn't. (It sounds like you've had to put up with enough already!)
Your husband probably knows what his bratty sister is like, and if he doesn't, maybe you should lay it out for him.
Best of Luck!

I know what you are going through I have 3 sisters in law, two of them have been terrible for my relationship with my husband. They have also caused big trouble in their own family by their antics...My husband and I got to the point where we had to leave the town and move to the big city as they were way too much trouble for us.

We had enough! So I understand!

that is FRUSTRATING. i think you definitely need to get your husband involved before you speak to his sister again - this is his family, and you need his support. he doesn't need to say anything to her, but i think he needs to hear where you're coming from, and understand that it always "takes two to tango," so to speak, so it can't just be you not reaching out. also, the whole thing about her being older and YOU reaching out?? that's crap. if anything, it's the other way around...who's supposedly older/wiser/more mature, here? (not that i think she is, but see what i mean?) regardless. once you speak to your husband, you need to definitely follow dearsugar's advice and have a heart to heart with her. i also think that after you very calmly lay out what's been hurting you and give your suggestions on how to change your relationship, i think you need to follow marci's advice. if she bothers you, don't get angry, just walk away--no scene, no nothing, just a simple removal. if you feel the need to say something, you can say, "i've explained to you that i don't appreciate being spoken to in that way," as you leave. good luck!

I agree with DearSugar, you are family now and you are going to have to work it out. The way she is acting is very immature and needs to stop right away. People like this like to have the attention on them at all times - I am sure she was like this growing up. Talk to your husband and be honest with him. He has known her longer - he could help you give an inside advantage to why she is acting this way. If he says "She is always like this" then let it go. Keep your distance from her. If she is not like this - your husband can possibly help you figure out what to do.

Good Luck.

This is just a comment more than a suggestion - The fact that this is her sister-in-law doesn't mean that it's her husband's sister. I have two sister-in-laws - i.e. my husband's two brothers' wives.

And if that's the case, it may be an entirely different story. Her husband might not want to step in becuz it's his brother's wife.

But either way, you definitely need to talk to your husband. Give examples of things that she's done and explain your feelings and concerns about the situation. Tell him that you're hurt and upset by the things that she's said and done and perhaps come up with a plan of action together. But I like the idea of just leaving the room when she makes a rude statement or comment.

Don't let her walk all over you! But don't burn any bridges at the same time, try to be mature about it. She's family, so keep it civil. Sit down with her, and have your husband with you! I totally agree with Dear's advice -"Give her some examples of what she has said or done to hurt your feelings and ask her why she feels the need to put you down." Discuss the situation, honestly and openly. Though don't point your finger, or make accusations - you won't get anywhere with that. Just be honest about how YOU FEEL and not what SHE DID.

If your husband doesnt stand up for you and make her treat you with respect you might want to find a new husband

I have the same problem with my BF's sister. She is the most crude, rude biotch ever, but since she's family I have to deal with it. AVOID AVOID AVOID! That's it!

Your sister in law is probably jealous of you and of course she isn't going to admit it. I don't get along with my sister-in-law either. She's evil. Everytime she notices that I am unhappy or if someone from her side of the family is mean to me a smile always pops up upon her face. She espeically likes it if I show up with the family and I am not my usual beautiful self. Ive come to the conclusion that she is extremely jealous of me. It's not my fault that I am smarter and prettier than her. Im not mean to her. She just needs to work on herself and stop takeing out her short comeings out on me. Every time she is around me it reminds her that she doesn't feel good enough about herself. Thats just really immature. I am always working on myself to better myself and still am. It doesn't make me want to be mean to a person just because they are at a more advanced level in life than I am. Or if they are more attractive than me. I just try my best to improve myself even more. And I also think of positive things about myself. Every one has short comings and good things about them too.

I read the article and thought that we might have the same sister in law. She does not have a life so she visits us and insists on ruining our life. Lots of little snide comments and she acts like she is Gods gift to the earth - no wonder she can't find a date and then on top of it all = she coaxes our 4 year and 6 year old to sleep in her bed - is this woman an adult in any way - she is strange as hell and creepy as can be - she does not have one friend to speak of and so all she does is come visit us - and then her parents show up and want us to "take care of her" - the woman is 40 years old trying to sleep with a 4 year old????? What the fu????? So when they fall asleep, I get them and move them to their beds but it is RIDICULOUS! and SHAMEFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also have a problem with my future sister in-law. She is actually going to be my brother-in-laws wife in three months but she has been rude and disrespectful towards my and my feelings from the beginning. A few years ago, she hurt my feelings many times and I reacted. I did not handle the situation well and didn't treat her right because of that. However, her and my brother-in-law twisted the whole thing and made it look like she was the wictim in all of this and it was my fault and dismissed my feelings and my reactions to her actions. We sat down and talked about. Now few years later, I have forgiven her and was nice to her, very helpful and even my husband and I, we asked them to be godparents to our daughter, to show that we welcome her to the famile. Since they started planning their wedding, she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I hesitate but said yes anyway. I offered my help with planning and anything she needs. After she picked the bridesmaids dresses I nicely asked her for a favour to have mine a bit longer as I am uncomfortable with wearing short dresses or skirts. She was very rude and said no. She pretty much told me that I have been negative abou the dress from the beginning and once again, played it as she is the victim in all of this and I am hurting her feelings because it's her special day and I should be the one who should step up. I have been stepping up for five years now and had enough.

i know how that is my sister in law can be so rude to me the last time i saw her was at her sons birthday and she called me a lazy cow i have done nothing wrong to her so im going to give her the cold treatment