I predict almost 100 comments on this one.

I say absolutely. She's basically ruined her child's life. I strongly support holding parents responsible for this child abuse.

I agree with the charges in this particular case, but that doesn't mean I agree with authorities stepping in every time a child is obese. I think each particular situation should be carefully assessed.
This situation is very sad.

Yeah... obesity sucks up so much of our tax dollars it makes me sick

totally agree, Indigo4320, particularly that it should be case-by-case

I also agree that parents of anorexics, or cutters, etc. should be held accountable if they are not properly attending to the welfare of their child. mental health is just as important as physical health, and neglect of either can have major consequences

i think it's more important to have an intervention with both the child and the mother to come up with a diet and exercise plan. from the looks of it the mother doesn't eat to healthily either. if the children services had made an attempt at an intervention type thing before then charges would be fine.

I also agree it must be decided case-by-case. This is obviously an exacerbated example.

I'm on the fence with this one. His mom works three jobs and has followed a nutritionist's advice about what to feed her son (I read that in another article about this)as best as she can.
Her son has been eating tons of extra food, fatty foods, leftover foods from friends when he is either school or when she is not around so i don't understand how it is fair to throw her in jail for 10 yrs when she was actually trying to help her son lose weight (but he would secretly eat anyway).
Its like Mama's comment about anorexis and cutters. I can see where you are coming from what what if the child does such a good job hiding it that by the time you found out (like if your kid accidentally nicks an artery and is rushed to the hospital) your child is taken away because you as a parent didn't take action before.
I was a cutter and bulimic for years and my parents ever knew because I was good at hiding. How would you stop a kid hell-bent on eating his way through the BK menu four times over? I guess my question is what would you do if you were trying to help your overweight kid lose weight (handling three jobs on top) and just kept seeing them pack on the pounds?

From the article on the www.nydailynews.com

http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2009/07/22/2009-07-22_is_obe...

"Gray followed the guidelines set for her son’s care by the Department of Social Services, but Alexander had most likely been eating whatever he wanted when he was at school, or at home while his mother worked the late-night shift at her job, Varner added."

I don't believe she deserved the prison sentence. She's being punished for being poor as for as I'm concerned.

She unfortunately can't always control her son's diet, especially at 14. Especially if she has to work hard to support him.

What was this mother supposed to do, quit her jobs and become unable to provide for them so she could monitor his food intake all day?? This is wrong..

I think it's difficult to say whether or not she really is at fault. But there's only so much she could do if she was really following the health expert's advice. She had to work. And working even one job is hard I can't imaging three. That alone shows she knows how responsible she is for him and loves him. Putting someone in prison for ten years is unthinkable to me though. Her life already sucks, so, make it worse? Take away her kid and throw her in prison where she won't see him again until he's an adult and what if while she's in prison he continues to eat like he is. Unless he has a parent or guardian or nurse handcuffed to his wrist 24/7 the kid is going to continue to sneak food. Putting the mother away is not going to fix the child's psychological problem it's only going to give him another one.

I think social services should do some investigating and offer help rather than just condemn the mother and ship the kid away to a foster home.

"I think social services should do some investigating and offer help rather than just condemn the mother and ship the kid away to a foster home."

From what the article says, that's what it sounds like they tried to do, but then she missed a court date, took her son, and skipped town.

I think it's just an easy way out to blame the parents. You can try to blame parents when their kid is too fat, too skinny, on drugs, pregnant, failing school, and it goes on and on and on.

At what point does the child take responsibility for their own actions? Like many of you have said, parents can try to do right by their kids but once they reach a certain age it's hard to watch them every second of every day. This kid is 14. 14!! He's old enough to know that what he's doing is killing him.

I'm not trying to sound heartless, because I was an overweight kid too. I was a chubby kid, a fat teenager, and just recently started losing weight when I started college. I can't blame my mom because I couldn't stop eating.

"At what point does the child take responsibility for their own actions?"

When they turn 18.

"I'm not trying to sound heartless, because I was an overweight kid too. I was a chubby kid, a fat teenager, and just recently started losing weight when I started college. I can't blame my mom because I couldn't stop eating. "

But were you 550 lbs? There's a big difference between being 200 or even 300 lbs as a kid and being over 500 lbs. And from what it sounds like, he had additional health problems that the mother was not taking care of properly.

Clearly, when you weigh a quarter of a ton at 14, it's your mom's fault. I don't care if he's been getting his food elsewhere while she's not at home. She is the one who shaped his eating habits and if she doesn't want him to eat junk food at home, then don't have junk food at home. She is the one who taught him to be this way.

But smacks83, how do you hide 555 pounds?
I mean, it's so extreme.

It sounds like the mother DID try to get him to eat a healthy diet and lose weight. But when he wasn't in front of his mother he was eating unhealthy foods. So in that case, if he went to school and ate whatever he wanted...let's charge his school with neglect because they didn't stop the fat kid from eating junk. Let's charge the fast food restaurants he went to while his mom was working one of her THREE jobs. They let him eat their unhealthy foods, therefore contributing to his obesity. When the mother wasn't there because she was working to support him I can't believe that she could be charged with this. This is beyond ridiculous. There is only so much a parent can do.

By all accounts, this mother did try to help her son be healthy. What else was she supposed to do?

okay, 55o pounds is extreme, way extreme but what good does it do to throw the mother in jail for 10 years. Extra drama in the boy's life likely means no weight loss and finding a caring, committed foster family for a kid like that - well, good luck.
It's easy to condem somebody for letting something like that happen. But the facts are: here we have a single mother holding down three jobs, presumably not very well educated and not brought up on tofu and raw veggies herself who is trying to do the right thing - and fails. She skips town, never a good move, but that probably was the only way out she saw for keeping her child. It is unfair to expect her to make completly rational decisions in such a situation. It's easy for the rest of us sitting in front of our computers passing judgement.

This story was on the news last night. It's so sad. I agree that at 14 he has to take some responsibility. But something else has to be going on, and that IS the parents' responsibility. If he doesn't have a glandular problem that messed his metabolism up, then there's at the very least a mental health issue or emotional problem happening. According to the news, the mother had been offered help with her son's weight problem several times in the past.

At that age, (maybe at any age?) you've got to eat pretty constantly and badly to be that heavy. It can't be that this kid eats fattening lunches, finishes his friends' leftovers at school and junk food during the day but doesn't do it at night when his mother is home. Where is this kid getting all this food or the money to go buy it if it is not being provided by the family somehow? This is not an adult who has a paycheck to blow on drive-thru junk. So it came from somewhere.

Childhood obesity is one thing. Kids are heavier these days and alot of it has to do with family lifestyle and the remote socializing kids do nowadays . But I don't think we can compare the epidemic of kids being 30-40 pounds overweight with a case like this. This boy is more than three times the entire weight he should be.

His family isn't intervening for him. Somebody has to or he'll die. I understand the mother may work long hours, but has she ever taken him off school lunch and sent him with lunch if she can afford to? Has she ever called the school and asked them not to allow him to have seconds at lunch? (I had to do that with my 10 year old...he was getting heavy) Has she researched where the food he's getting is coming from and tried to put a stop to it? I'd be curious to know these things. I think they matter when deciding whether or not she's been neglectful.

This is a slippery slope to me. Yes, it's awful that he weighs 550 lbs at 14 years of age. But if his Mom is working long hours then I don't see where she can take all the blame, can she? He's not 4, he's 14. So at some point doesn't some of the responsibility fall on his shoulders?

If we legislate this, what is next. I guess that is where I hesitate. Where does it stop? Next we'll have parents being charged with child abuse because they allow their children freedom of expression. For instance, should a person under 18 be allowed (even with parental permission) to get tattoos and body piercings? Where is the line drawn?

Obviously in the case of this boy his health is a huge concern. But how does punishing his mother help. And the obvious question begs to be asked....where the ell is his Dad? Doesn't he share some responsibility too?

We have parents who allow their teens to run the streets, be involved in gang activity, etc. I think we need to focus more on dealing with the rampant drug problems in this country. By all means counsel him and his mother on proper nutrition.

Has anyone else seen the new section at some of the department stores? Girls and Boys PLUS. I almost broke my neck the other day when I whipped my head around to look at the display sign. What? This NEVER existed when we were kids. Actually, I didn't even see it a year or two ago. What's going to happen to all these overweight kids when they are adults? It's just so wrong. Instead of making clothes bigger, shipping them to the stores and plopping up a sign that says Girls Plus, maybe they need to change their lifestyles, eat less and exercise. Just blows my mind.

I agree with indigo, it should be case by case basis. In this case the kid should not be with the mother, but is a little extreme to sentence her to 10 years in prison. The appropriate thing to do in my opinion is to take the child away from her, force her to take nutrition and parenting classes, and depending on her success on those classes then the judge should reconsider whether or not she should be given a second chance. I agree with anonymous #22 at that age you should know better, but as a mother you are responsible of supervising your kids action and you should make sure that he is on the right track.

I disagree with the charges on the grounds that today we know of a few reasons why people become obese some are completely different from the others and some have overlapping factors. The question is do the authorities know which factors they're dealing with in this child. Now as for the mother I'm not letting her off the hook either. She claims that because she has three jobs she can't keep track of what he eats. Now this is a complete assumption from my perspective here but I presume she buys the groceries and supplies (what) he eats.

It sounds as though this family and our tax dollars would be better served if they are educated about their options. Not to mention the notoriety from this story may inspire a gym or a trainer to offer to work with her son for free. The bottom line is there are much better options than separating this mother and child.

The situation got to where it was because no one cared including her. She had three jobs doesn't say anything to me. She should have been hit over the head with a hammer. You can pick up the phone and tell the school what he eats and what he doesn't. You can visit the school during lunch hour. You can make sure he eats healthy in the evenings. You can ask his friends whats going on with him. You can control what you have at home to eat. With three jobs you can put him into a swimming class everyday. Or a karate class or a one on one exercise program. You can tell his teachers and other instructors his situation. At this point you could also confer with a doctor for a diet program, or diet drugs. If your son's health and life is at stake you would make that your priority.

I think people like this not only need to be punished, but also educated.

I wish there were free classes for parents to be, both on nutrition and parenting. Situations like this probably have to do with both, the mother doesn't know what is healthy, and has no clue how to establish her authority.

I don't believe that this woman belongs in jail. This is a comment from the story in the NY Daily News that I think is spot on...:

"There's certainly parental enabling, but, the mom is also obese, and she needs to be counseled. If she's a single mom, working and struggling, it's more difficult to police the kid's behavior, when she's too tired and maybe unwilling to eat healthy. We often equate food with comfort and love. Obesity is the most prevalent health crisis in our society. I see fatter and fatter children, who no longer play outside, but, come home from school and live indoors. Instead of prosecution, she needs nutritionists and a trainer to start with her own sense of self-esteem, health and welfare. There's nothing more satisfying that to be fit, eat healthy and feel well. She's as much of a victim of our fast food and inactive culture as her son."

She definitely needed to do SOMETHING when she saw him getting bigger and bigger, but putting her in jail is not going to help anybody. Maybe put him in foster care for a while, get him started with a counselor and nutritionist. Try to help and solve the problem instead of prosecute.

I dont think she belongs in jail, but she is responsible for the state of her child and BOTH of them need to get help, see a nutritionist, get counseling, parenting classes etc.

No reason for a child to be 550 pounds and there is no excuses.

Janneth, I didn't mean he could hide being 550lbs from his mom, but I'm guessing he hid extra food he brought home or hid the fact he was eating tons of junk outside of the home.

And for the person who said that the mom should have just called the school and told them what her son is supposed to be eating (sorry, I forget who posted it) then I feel like the school is going to ask how are they supposed to keep track of a 14yr sneaking food from friends (or buying a lot and eating it quickly) because then it gives the same rights to other parents who can now complain that the school needs to monitor what their child eats/does not eat (otherwise its preferential treatment) and in a lunchroom of like 300 kids and about 4 or 5 adults watching out for possible fights/weapons/drug use how are they now supposed to watch food intake? Also, i know lots of parents that only have one job that can't visit their kid's school everyday at lunch (and as for asking his friends, well they said in the article those were the kids giving him extra food sometimes so I doubt they would want to "rat" out their friend. Its just the mentality (kinda like friends of cutters or anorexics or bulimics, very rare for any of them to go to their friend's parents saying "look, i think so-and-so has a problem".)

To be honest, I hope this kid finally sees how his selfish behavior has possibly wrecked his family.

He is 14 and very clearly has an eating disorder but it becomes her fault because she was not completely attentive due to working three jobs. Honestly the reports are conflicting because some say that she was following what the nutritionist said, others say that she did not let her son participate in programs designed to help this issue. I don't think that jail time is the answer. The boy needs help. make it mandatory. I don't think that she is rolling in enough dough to keep him that big if she works three jobs.

I think this is about a higher principle of holding parents accountable for letting their children get obese. I think Meme Roth is right when she calls it the world's most pleasant form of child abuse.

We have got to change out thinking about this issue. I feel like overweight people get defensive over the slightest suggestion that they are to blame for their plight, and we can't let them inflict their eating habits on children out of the fear of offending them.

Has anyone noticed that kids don't go outside and play anymore like we used to? I remember going outside for hours and hours and getting lots of exercise as a kid and we definitely ate a lot of candy and other junk food and we didn't drink diet soda. I think the key to fighting childhood obesity is getting kids to be more active instead of sitting indoors playing video games all the time.

I firmly believe that it's the parents responsibility unless there is an underlying medical condition. Parents are responsible for raising healthy children. Isn't that a given?

Chouette4u-I don't agree.

And what makes 18 such a magical number anyway? Take a look at the other examples I gave: drugs, pregnancy, etc. Do you really believe that if I am 550 pounds the day before I turn 18 that I am any less responsible than the next day when I turn 18? I don't see how because I'd still be 550 pounds.

And no I wasn't that obese but when you've grown up overweight it all feels the same. Did you grow up overweight? If not, please don't presume to know what it's like, and don't assume that a child's parent can watch them for every meal, because it's not realistic.

I'm looking at this from a legal/CPS perspective. If you're under 18 and you damage someone's property, it's ultimately your parents' responsibility to pay for it, and if you're under 18 and you need medical care, it's your parents' responsibility to provide that for you.

550 lbs is so much more than 200 lbs in the effect it can have on your health and the extreme number of calories that have to be consumed in order to maintain that weight. I'm not trying to place any value on how it feels emotionally to weigh 550 lbs versus 200 lbs.

It might not be possible for her to be present during every meal, but if the mother is not able to monitor his weight and diet enough to keep him out of the scarily morbidly obese spectrum or neglects his overall medical care, she's just not capable of having custody of him. And depending on the details, I could see how she could be charged with criminal neglect.

Spacekatgirl I liked what you wrote. Simple and to the point. Smack83 I read your comment. I assume you don't have kids. The school can control what he eats because you have a set amount of money you give the cafeteria. You get one tray of food for the day. They have computer systems now and when they get to the end of the line the information is there for each child about diabetics and food allergies and all information. They do that for my son at his school since he is not allowed dairy. As far as stealing food at lunch from friends who do you think is going to go along with that? Those kids are going to get upset and report it to mom that a 500 lb bully ate his cookies. The school would get hell from the mom and the cafeteria attendants would end it. Also how is he going to sneak food at home if you give a dam about what he can get his hands on? I didn't suggest visiting the school everyday, just once in a while, after all her kid's life is at stake. But then she didn't do that did she? At 550 lbs he could die soon. But what did she care? She had her jobs to think about and then she can just take some time off to bury him after he dies of a heart attack according to you. Then you point the finger at a the boy as he suffers. You underestimate how much can be done as a parent and professionals who care.