Dear Sugar
I fell in love with my best friend and now I don't know what to do. I don't want to ruin our friendship. I once swore that I would never fall in love with a guy like him. I've pretty much only dated sporty types and it's a strict rule I've obeyed since I've entered the dating business at age15.
My best friend is nothing of this type at all. He's into poetry, literature and politics. He also has dreams of becoming a lawyer. He's very posh, well-bred and really nothing at all like the other "bad-boy types" I've dated in the past.
I've been friends with him since infancy. My father and his father were college buddies. We've been through rough times, happy times and pretty much every curve ball that life could possibly throw at you. I know him inside and out and I am shocked myself that I've all of a sudden fallen for him.
I am very nervous about what his reaction will be when I confront him with my feelings. He usually dates the rich girls who are not into partying, and who are
very well bred...boring ones, to be honest. I am nothing like that, and I wouldn't say that I'm much of a poet, politician or literature academic either.
I'm not quite sure what to say to him and was hoping that you would be able to help me out. No matter what, I don't want things to ever be awkward between us. Love Struck Lucia
To see DEARSUGAR's answer read more
Dear Love Struck Lucia
Stop panicking - when has that ever gotten you anywhere? Here's the plan. Choose a special time when you can be somewhere alone to break the news to him.
Tell him that you feel awkward about risking your friendship but that at the same time it's becoming too challenging for you to hide your feelings. Add that thinking about him makes you so excited so you felt now was the right time to come clean. Ask him how he feels ... and then be silent.
Stop, wait, and listen...and whatever you do, don't make the first move and try to kiss him! Talk about sensory overload, I am sure he's going to feel an element of shock and that may put him into a trauma state. If he feels the same way, a kiss will naturally evolve. Good luck. This could be a wonderful new chapter in your relationship.
Colline
Forzieri
Rieker
I was in your place too. I noticed I was having feelings for my best friend that I hung out with constantly. Lucky enough for me, he was feeling the same way and we just started hugging out of nowhere (no talking really had to be involved or anyone spilling their heart). Do you have any clue that he feels the same way? If not, then I guess you can do it the way DEAR said but I do understand that you are totally nervous (I would be too). Maybe you could do it this way- say you two are just joking around and you start off saying "what would you do if..." and then make your way to "what would you do if i liked you"...I dont know if you guys have that dynamic but my best friend and i were so goofy that a question like that would be only slightly weird. i hope this helps although im not sure it did!
1Good luck! This could be really, really good. Or really, really bad. But either way, I doubt it will ever be the same now that you feel the way you do. So, I say go for it!!
2I tried to put myself in your shoes, and I realized that I'd be absolutely TERRIFIED to tell him. But I still think you should do it. It's not like he's some guy you barely know whom you worship from afar... he's your best friend. And you're friends for a reason. He likes you and he cares about you. I agree with Jenn, this could be really, really good.
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3(formerly known as nam4anad)
ROCKSUGAR
Oh, one more thing... make sure you tell us how it works out!
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4(formerly known as nam4anad)
ROCKSUGAR
I really hopes this works out! There's nothing like being with your best friend. If you didn't have that much in common then you wouldn't be such great friends so I'd say tell him how you feel and open up your heart to him.
5Sometimes the best things in life are worth the risk of a broken heart. Be honest, don't have any expectations and be willing to accept whatever his reaction may be to your confession. Take a chance. You seem to be the type of young woman who isn't a stranger to taking a little risk now and then. Best of luck!
6Dear has good advice. I like how she called it "a plan". Ha ha! I hope it works out for you.
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