Woody Allen once joked that being bisexual doubled your chances of getting a date on Saturday night.
Part of the problem bisexuals have is that lots of people (even in the queer community) don't take bisexuality all that seriously. It's a phase, some say; just choose already, command others. What does it mean to choose a sexual identity that is fluid and nonfixed, something that contradicts the idea of identity itself?
According to researcher Lisa Diamond, an associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah who followed
79 nonheterosexual women for a decade, a woman's desire for both sexes endures throughout the years. "These findings are therefore more consistent with the model of bisexuality as a stable identity," she argues, "than a transitional stage." (Granted, Diamond had a small pool of research subjects, and they were disproportionately white and middle class.)
There's no question that we're living in a time when young women feel less of a stigma in desiring women or having sex with them, but for some it is just a phase of faux-mosexuality. Do you identify as bisexual? (Notice you don't get a "not sure" option!)
Debenhams
Kookaﾕ
Nﾟmph
I am not bisexual, however I can find women beautiful and attractive and admire them for it without being labeled as Bi, because in no way do i want to be sexual with them.
1People aren't always certain of their sexuality, Tres. Even the study you cited indicates that a "not sure" option should be available.
2I am definitely not bi-sexual. I do not ever intend on sleeping with a woman. Ever.
3No. Like CaterpillarGirl, while I do appreciate attractive women, I am only sexually aroused by men.
4I consider myself bisexual, and NOT in the girls-gone-wild, i like to kiss girls at parties to please the guys sense. It's definitely something I've struggled with because I was hoping it was a phase. However, sexuality is a spectrum (as in 'not sure'). I feel like generally I lean toward straight- like a 60: 40 ratio, if that makes sense?
5Ditto with CatterpillarGirl. I'm only attracted to guys, but I do appreciate a woman's beauty or personality
6I defintitely am, I could never live with just either a guy OR a girl.
7actually caterpillar, she said she DOESN'T like to do that for attention. read before you post. I've identified as bisexual for a long time. I remember when I was in 2nd grade and titanic came out and i was just as interested in kate winslet as i was leo dicaprio. maybe that was curiosity at that young, but even as i got older i noticed i cut out magazine pictures of women and men, and ive dated and slept with women and men. no doubt i know what i am, and no doubt that it exists.
8I've had boyfriends, I've had girlfriends. I've had sex with more women, but more long term relationships with men. I am highly bisexual, and I've made a living for years with my sexalicious gal art (check out my profile for my site!)
I'm also married to a man. I find myself annoyed at the comments here that insinuate that bisexual gals can't be faithful. We're not sexual pariahs, we just happen to like two flavors of ice cream.
9spacekat - exactly, kind of like another way i don't discriminate lol.
10lol spacekat - "two flavors of ice cream" cute!!
I personally have never had sex with another woman (kissed, yes), however, I can be sexually aroused by women. But I'm not sure that that alone puts me in the "bisexual" category. If I ever have the opportunity to actually have sex with a woman well then I know what category I'd fall in lol.
11Yes, sort of. I've known I was attracted to both since a young age, but now I have it sorted out. I am physically attracted to both men and women, but I prefer to have relationships with men. So, on the Kinsey scale I would be a 4.
12* meaning I've slept with women but only had long term relationships with men, just to be clear.
13sigh. "NOT in the girls-gone-wild, i like to kiss girls at parties to please the guys sense"
14I choose the Hell No Option.
15I appreciate beautiful women and I think they are sexy, but I am not bisexual. I love my men in the sack. I don't have the desire to be intimate with a woman even though they sure are pretty to look at.
16Yes. I've had sexual encounters with women but no long term relationships. I've only been in one long term relationship and it's with a man. But if this doesn't work out and a woman was to come along, I would be happy with that too.
17I'm not bi, but I have some friends who are, and I always feel badly for them because I feel like there is this general idea that bisexual people are just 'waffling' and should 'choose one', or that they're addicted to sex or something.
18cg130, that is very true.
I've gotten a lot of hate from lesbians who call bisexual girls opportunists or are afraid that they're stealing their girls (???).
I have realized that people who are very sensual, boys and girls alike, tend to like both genders. Because being intimate feels good, no matter who it's with.
By the way, I think that shirt is cool. I once saw one that just had a checkmark which said "other". I'll get that if I find it again
19What CG130 is talking about is a doctrine of oppression called heteronormativism. Like other ideologies that promote group supremacy, such as racism and sexism, heteronormativism is used to marginalize and instill hatred against gays and the bisexual.
CaterpilliarGirl, it's my opinion that when you marginalize someone's bisexual feelings, saying they only do it for attention, you're engaging in heteronormative oppression. Bisexuality is very real, and being judgmental will not make it less so.
20There needs to be a "not sure" option.
Not from personal experience, but because it's very true that people just don't know. How can you put something that is generally considered a spectrum aspect in boxes? Sexuality has generally been considered on a spectrum, where many people fall in between two extremes. And sexual attraction doesn't have to always involve SEX. Attractions such as beauty and admiration do also factor into sexuality somewhat.
As for me, I'm pretty sure I'm not bisexual. I've never been sexually attracted to women like I have men. And I wouldn't have sex with a woman.
21Margokhal, I totally agree that there's a spectrum of desire from lesbian to straight. The question, though, is, "Do you identify as bisexual?"
22I always thought I was a straight and I was one of those who didn't understand being a bisexual. It didn't seem fair that someone can walk into a bar or anywhere really and be attracted to whoever they want. However, I met a girl one night and everything changed. I liked her and I dated her. Things ended and I liked a guy as soon as that was over. It doesn't mean I haven't liked girls since but I know without a doubt that I am not gay. I really really like guys, i'm sexually attracted to guys. It's hard to label it but if we have to then I would say I am bi.
23Yep. I actually tend to like women more than men, and have been with more women than men, but I definitely enjoy both.
24I identify as Pansexual. In short it means that I am attracted to someone regardless of sex, colour, race, creed or any physical, mental or spiritual disposition.
I tell people I'm bisexual, unfortunately most people I talk to don't have a clue what pansexuality is.
I dont really prefer one sex over another. Each to their own.
25i've been attracted to girls and boys since i was 13. it started when i fell inlove with my best friend and as most teens do, we experimented with eachother and other girls and guys. it took a while for me to decide wether i just was curious or bisexual but now, i'm 100% sure i like both.
26I have an attraction towards some women. I could say that I'm "bi-curious", but not "bi-sexual".
27Not to speak for them (I'm not a lesbian), but I think the comments from women who say they're attracted to both genders, but only have long-term relationships with men are the ones that irritate lesbians most. It gives an appearance that you're not interested in women on a deep enough level to spend the rest of your life with them, only for brief periods. That would be frustrating for someone who IS looking for a long-term relationship, only to be dumped a few months later for a man. If you enter a relationship that you don't plan on committing to long-term, but don't let your partner know that in advance, some might interpret that as being dishonest.
Why no long-term relationships with women? Is it that you're only attracted to women on a sexual level or is it that you eventually get bored with women or you find yourself missing men?
28I've always been straight, but I suppose some women are "bi-curious"? Strange way to put it, but some girls just desire to have it with other women. It just gets you curious
29I identify as heterosexual because I only get crushes and feel attracted to men but I can sure agree that women are lovely to look at! That's about as far as it goes for me, though. I am attracted to guys!
30Hmm, interresting point about lesbians being offended by bisexual women who only date men long-term. I completely understand that point of view, as a bisexual myself, but for me, i think i can blame it on my parents. Anyone who has had a psychology class knows a little about Sigmund Freud and everything about how girls "need" a father figure. This being said, i personally have a very strained relationship with my alcoholic, abusive father, so even though beautiful women get me going, i feel that i'm always going to "need" a strong father figure in the person i'm dating. My relationship with my mother is wonderful, so i don't feel that i'm lacking a healthy amount of female attention and approval.
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