I have the major deal breakers most ladies probably do — no mass murderers, kitten haters or men sporting mullets (OK, I might compromise on the last bit if it's an ironic mullet). I wonder if others share another one I have, though: I'm not sure I could ever seriously date a man who'd been to a prostitute.
Although I think prostitution should be legalized, there's something about a man who wants to or has paid for sex that gives me heebies. If he thinks of women as chattel to be bought and sold, how would that reflect on his view of women in general — or me? Perhaps I am being too old fashioned (but then again, I'm not too thrilled with men who go to strippers or get lap dances, either).
What about you — would you date a man who had gone to a prostitute?
Net-a-Porter
Moncler
Panache
No, never, ever, everrrr.
1I don't want to be with a man who needs, or thinks its ok, to pay for sex.
nope. no way.
2It's not like he's going to tell you he's been to a prostitute. You would be surprised who frequents... you can't just "tell" unless they tell you. Business travelers are especially guilty... especially if they fly to Asia.
3Yes. It's not that big a deal as long as he's careful. Besides, most prostitutes are cleaner than the girls he had a one night stand with after meeting them in a bar. They're like prostitute except they're free.
4I wouldn't personally. However, I feel like you would never know anyhow. They wouldn't straight up tell you "Hey, by the way...I occassionaly enjoy the company of prostitutes." Nobody does that. In the end it's unrealistic to say if you would or wouldn't because no one TRULY knows what people do when alone most of the time.
5categorically no.
6but then would i know if he had?!
as others have said in this post, it's not something you declare on the first date!
"Business travelers are especially guilty... especially if they fly to Asia. "
Correction: Business travelers are especially guilty...especially if they fly somewhere away from home, be it Europe, Asia, the Americas, Africa, or Australia.
Prostitution is legalized here in Germany and next door to us is the Netherlands which apparently is famous for its redlight districts in Amsterdam.
7LOL Queenegg!! They aren't free...you usually have to buy them a shot first,
I think it depends on the circumstances. What if he went because he was really awkward around girls (or just very shy) and needed human contact that wouldn't judge him (I knew a guy in this situation and going to a call girl helped him). Then again, I try not to judge too quickly on any situation (um with the obvious exceptions of pedophiles, bestiality, being into dead folks and the like).
8I'm still caught up on the fact that Tres would reconsider a mullet!!!! yick!
9Hell no.
10No never ever. Not only because he was exposed to diseases, but because morally its wrong, and any man who has to resort to prostitutes has serious issues that I dont want in my life.
11Probably not. There's something icky about it to me, and really, it says something to me about your ability to interact and be intimate with regular women (whether that's a fair assumption or not).
12lol mamasitamalita, I thought the same thing!
13not if it's a regular thing, but i forgive the "when in amsterdam" excuse... you're only young once, and at least the girls there have regulations for testing so they're much, much safer than hookers here.
i would choose a one-time john over a mullet any day... ESPECIALLY an "ironic" mullet!!
14yes the girls are legal here in Amsterdam, but not all of them!
15I still find it hard to fathom that apparently there is such a huge demand for prostitutes, and I am by no means a prude, but I just don't get it.
If it was a once in a while thing at most, but if they were more of a hobbiest about it then probably not.
16absolutely not !!! i think its disgusting and i would never forgive it !I there is more to prostitution than having a good time,human trafficking is a serious situation and why would you want to contribute to that ? im not saying all prostitute's are forced into it but how can you possibly tell? sleeping with bar crawlers that are willing is completely different to actually paying !
17lol @ queenegg & mamasita!
I agree with the majority here. It's not the act of paying for sex, so much - it's the tertiary attitudes that would accompany it. That's the dealbreaker, ladies.
18i just spat my drink out across my desk when rereading the mullet comments
imagine having a mullet and sleeping with hookers- you may as well give up!
19Nope, I wouldn't do it. I doubt any man would brag about it though so like others said, how would you really know? If I knew that a guy I was dating and thinking about sleeping with had paid for a prostitute it would be a huge turn off. I like to think that a guy can sleep with a woman without paying for it.
20I have dated men that have been with many girls... as long as they are up front with me it is not something that bothers me. Paying for sex, however, would be on a whole different level. It seems pathetic, a total deal breaker. I couldn't date a guy after finding that out.
21nope
22i wouldn't date a man who had to pay for sex and i feel it really shows deep seated issues
and like dear, i wouldn't date a guy who makes a habit out of strip clubs and lap dances either
i don't mind a guy going out with his buddies here and there but to instigate it often and pay for a girl to grind all over you? no thank you
23queenegg I agree with you. What is the different between having a one night stand and sleeping with a prostitute? I don't think is that big of a difference. I would prefer someone that don't do that kind of stuff, but you never know unless he tells you, and I don't ask about their personal life before me. If he does it while he was with me then we have a problem.
24No.
Likewise, I think a man may have reservations about me if I told him I once prostituted (meaning if I was part of that kind of transaction).
25Seeing as how he probably would never tell me, then yes.
If frequently got with prostitutes, say once a week then no. But once or twice a year, no problem. Sometimes people don't feel like the hassle of faking a relationship just to get some. I would require testing as always before we have sex.
26Yes, I have.
27He was a good friend of mine so I know him very well before we even dated. And he's my 2nd 'serious' adult relationship.
We both got tested before we even got to the 'bed.' Hey, we're both free and clear so we dated.
Not knowingly. Although if a guy is willing to fess up on the first date that he's slept with a prostitute, I'd be very surprised.
28Yes, I would. I don't think that's a bid deal if it's not a frequent thing.
Besides, most men won't admit having paid for sex anyway -- while they're trying to hook up with you.
29Also, I'd prefer to date a guy who has paid for sex than date one who has been anywhere near Paris Hilton's vagina for free.
30Most men who have slept with a prostitute are using a condom the ones that sleep with girls in bars, clubs, friends, etc. don't and that's how you get diseases and babies. If my dad had been going to prostitutes instead of a girl he met at wherever I highly doubt he would have gotten her pregnant.
But I still don't like the idea of anyone paying for something as initimate as sex. Sex has been completely degraded in the last 30 years or so and now even children. Is nothing sacred anymore????
31you probably have! look alot of guys have gone to "massage" parlors and for like five bucks the chick will do alot of stuff.gross and sad i know but hey its reality.ive had guys admit they been with a hgooker ,as long as they used protection and it was in the past then what can you say?
32i dont judge people on their past ,ive had a one night stand ,whats the difference? so no money was exchanged but some people might judge me for that.
My personal deal breakers (if known) include: prostitution or having been with a prostitute, adultery, murder, and smoking. I would venture on the side of avoiding mullets, but I guess you can't always go for looks.
33Eeeh...I would typically say "absolutely NO WAY", but in reality I think I would consider it, but after some SERIOUS considerations, such as:
1. Why did he go to a prostitute for sex in the first place/at all? That will give me a better idea of a) how often he does it; b) what the motivation is, maybe it's something a regular girlfriend can't give him - if so, then I certainly can't be with him; c) how likely he is to go again/while we're together - that's cheating and a BIG hell no in my book.
2. Is he in love with one? Because if he's really wanting somebody else and isn't with her simply because she's a prostitute, I refuse to be a "safe alternative".
3. Is he clean? I would do this with every potential sexual partner, but even more so with this situation. I don't know where he's going to pick up the girl(s), so I can't be sure if he's using protection/bringing things back to me. And this would have to be on a continuous basis. And always with a condom.
If the guy meets the proper criteria from those considerations, I *might* still consider dating him. Just maybe.
34No thanks. I think if he has sex with a prostitute once then he'll easily be with a prostitute again, possibly when he was upset with me. There is no way in hell I want that nasty ass prostitutes killer diseases inside my body. No man should stoop so low as to be with a streetwalker...unless....I guess you are who you sleep with. And that is not the kind of man I would want in my life, friends life, or any relatives life. It's just too dangerous.
35You mean if they admitted it? If they told me I wouldn't like it much. I don't think anyone goes around advertising it though. Maybe it's desperation, youth, or just curiosity. Men are horny. Remember Hugh Grant? He was caught with a prostitute. Would you go out with him? Remember the movie with Tom Cruise called Risky Business? Calling a prostitute to see what would happen...the list goes on.
36I don't know what the statistics are, and I don't care to know. I bet there's a lot of men out there who have done it. And never told. How would you ever know.
I second the "you probably already have". Guys have told me some awful things, my boyfriend has told me awful things about his guy friends, and I snooped on an ex's email... all the same... three-somes in Asia, taking a stripper (in the US) back to a room to have sex, etc. It's really gross. You can think you really know someone but you don't.
37Are our expectations of men seriously this low?
38We're assuming that the man is forthright and honest about his past, right?
39What a pertinent question! I'm in a huge tiff at the moment with my boyfriend over this issue. The night we had sex for the first time, I had asked a few routine questions...does he use condoms, has he slept with many women...etc. I asked, "have u ever been with a prostitute" and he laughed. his answer? "Jo, who hasn't been with a prostitute? Listen, I'm honest, I'm not gonna lie to you.I have a clear conscience. I have been to many! I LOVE them! it's efficient, fast, no strings attached and at least they get paid before leaving. Plus, what can I say, I love beautiful women...i don't want to be f*cking just anyone. the wh*res I have seen are ...forget about...AMAZING." I was devestated...but like an idiot found false comfort in his 'honesty'. that being said, we have now been together for a year and aside from his obvious qualities, he has serious mysogyne attitudes towards women, a total hate for his mother who he hasnt talked to in 15 years, is unable to make love...only knows how to f*ck hard and dirty (thanks to the porn industry), and views himself as my superior. If we have an argument, it will end when he wants it to end...regardless of what distress I may be in. If i try to bring up the subject again he will go mad and blame me for all our problems. I love him for his honest approach to life and strong mentality....but it's wearing thin. I can say without a doubt that men who frequent wh*res and THINK ITS OK...are dangerous. They will ruin your sense of self slowly and surely and never let you see you as an equal. Others may try prostitutes for kicks or as part of a fantasy , but most men...as it has been reported, feel something wrong in what they are doing. In this case, give your guy a break...he's just satisfying a fantasy. unlikely to be repeated.
40For me it would depend on why he went.
If he'd done it cause he was lonely, horny and has struck out too often recently that'd be alright. But if he did it because his ex was bad in bed or something, no way!
41Two points 1) As a man I know a very large percentage of good looking confident and successful professional men have slept with a prostitute at one time or other. I defy most men to say no to this when drunk and/or low. In many European countries, stunningly beautiful local young woman are more than affordable to anyone, in a safe relaxed environment, they seem like an unbelievable offer in comparison to the US.
422) Prostitutes exist mostly because circumstances have reduced their choices... I actually have a lot of empathy for their problems, many of the comments here from women seem to lean the other way.
Paid sex is just that, sex - its not a relationship it does mean the man does not prefer or is unable to have normal relationships. If you really exclude men who won't at some time in their lives exchange something material for sex I can only wonder at our differences in perception... such as why are successful men much more attractive to women.
WOULD A MAN GO OUT WITH A WOMAN WHO WENT TO A GIGALO?
43hi i am currently going out with a guy who slept with a prostitute. we have been together for 9months now. we have been work friends for a year and half. he is 26 now and slept with a prostitute the first time he went to amsterdam, when he was 19 he said the year before he had broken up with a girl he was madley in love with and was quite sad about it so he wet on a bender taking lots of drugs and when he went to amsterdam with his mates he slept with a prositute because the girls were beautiful like the girls you see on front pages on magazines he said his friends went into the sex shops so he did, and slept with a prostitute. he told me that the experience was not a very nice one he said it was like going to the doctors there is no conection you are unable to kiss them and are only allowed to hold them in certain ways and if you wanted anything else you had to pay again ( anything else is like if you wanted oral) you get 15mins and then told to leave. my boyfriend knows my views i think it is disusting, morally wrong, no justification, and he knows i do think abit less of him. he did sleep with the prostitute before we got together thats why i cant really put him down to much. and i do love him because he is so lovely. i do not think my boyfriend will sleep with a prostitute again. he says that he wont and swears blind that he doent want to mess up what we have and he loves me. but i guess the fact he has slept with a prostitute does give me dout that he will do it again especially now that hes going to amsterdam next week. when he goes to amsterdam next week hes going with his mates some of them sleep with prostitute and some of them say they dont. i said to my boyfriend they are just saying that they dont because its me. my boyfried said no they really dont and they would tell you if they had because your my girlfriend and they are not trying to get with you. he also said the majority of men have slept with prostitutes, i dont think they have but is making me think maybe they have i cant trust any men. i am worried about him going to amsterdam. im very worried and i dont think i can be with him. i want to trust him, i want to believe he wont but i cant. Help me
44Post New Comment
Please share your opinion with our community, but make sure it is on topic and follows our Community Rules. We moderate comments and prohibit personal attacks, threats, spam, lewd images, or the promotion of your personal website.