Ya know, it's Ok to fantasize about celebrities and stuff like that when you're married, but to actually ACT on it?? No way. How silly to even ask that question! Like your old boyfriend wouldn't go around telling his friends, and then soon the whole town knows that you're the woman who cheated on her husband! Please...this question isn't even really worth my time.

Was the sex that good??? I think you would be disappointed at how average it really was. It's not the thoughts that are wrong here, it would be acting on them. Every girl needs her fantasies, but they need to stay jut that.

ummm...no? you're married.

Well, although I would not promote it, nor advise you to act on your impulse, I would like to comment that I think that in some marriages, there remain possibilities for extramarital activities, only with mutual agreement though.

Um, no. If you truly love your husband, how could you think that would be okay. Fantasy only.

no, u said ur happily married, so u want to endanger that just for a 'session' of pleasure? Thats pretty wrong to me. The thing that would make it that gr8 would b the thrill of the fact u shouldnt b doing it, if u really love ur husband i dont think u would, lust not love. Think about it this way, do u think ud like it if ur hubby went off with a girl just for a one off

why would you do that to yourself (not even going to mention the others that would be impacted by this). every time you look in the mirror, every time you say to your husband "i love you", every time fidelity comes up in conversation the guilt you would feel would be overwhelming. this isn't like a diet where you can eat a cup cake when no one is looking and it's "okay". 1 time, a million times, cheating changes everything.

Your married. This will destroy your family. So think is it really worth it.

you're married and you have children. i'm no traditionalist by any means, but i don't think it's right to mess around behind the back of the father of your children. ever.

What if your hubby was thinking the same thing? Would you say it's OK for him to hook up with an ex "just once" even tho' you are married?

Which part of the vows you took said that selfish indulges in crushes was okay? The love, honor and cherish part? Or the for better or worse part? Love is saying no to this sort of thing because a relationship and a family is more important than a fling. If you are really happily married, why jeopardize it. Looking for drama? Bored? Take a trip with your hubby instead.

I'm not the morality police. But personally the thought of explaining to my chiildren they were losing their healthy, two-parent family because daddy found out I couldn't keep it zipped is too horrifying to comtemplate. If that doesn't throw cold water on your loins, nothing will.

You go lickety split!

Don't! do it!

You act like its no big deal- Hello? Cheating?!

what are you crazy? you have CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!
CHILDREN!!!! CHILDREN!!!!
how can you even consider this, and then act like it would be no big deal? how could you do something so hurtful to your entire FAMILY.
if you husband finds out, my guess is he would NOT be okay with it, which would lead to divorce, which would lead to a breaking up of the FAMILY, which would hurt your CHILDREN so badly!!! i don't understand how you somehow got it into your mind that your actions would have no consequences. besides, just because you have a little crush on him doesnt mean he would want to have sex with a married woman.

Don't do it. Respect that vow you made with your husband.

Imagine the hurt your husband would feel if he found out you did this. Why would you intentionally cause that much pain?

You took a vow and you should respect the relationship you have.
If you need something else to occupy your time find a hobby, go work out.
Don't do it !
Work on your relationship with your husband.
Go to the park and go an a romantic walk or to the beach..
Get a baby sitter for 2 hours and spend time with your husband!!!

don't do it! don't just think of yourself think of your poor husband that has no idea that you are thinking about another man! imagine if you were in his shoes and he wanted to have sex with some lady oooooh but just once he would say! doesn't matter rules is rules and when you marry the number one rule the only thing you have to do once you get married IS NOT CHEat! how hard is that? sounds like you have a wandering eye and if you feel like that maybe you shouldn't be married.

DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS GUY. Write that 100 times on the blackboard. It will never, ever be just once. Ever. And I'm sure you know that, too. Don't do this unles your goal is to bring lying and deceit into your home and your relationship with your husband - and your children. Don't kid yourself that it wouldn't affect your children. You'd be lying to them, too.

Getting married doesn't shut off the valve of being attracted to others. Married but not dead, as they say. We've all got crushes at times on people outside of our relationships. I'm sure your husband does too.

Why would you even want to tamper with your marriage? Cheating - even just once - would be the end of all that is sacred between you and your husband. Be a big girl and stick to your committment. A crush is a crush. Lust is lust. Marriage is sacrosanct.

N-O!!!

NO!!

You will regret it! Is it worth ruining your marriage and your family? Someone will know and someone will find out, and can you put this on your conscience???

Put yourself in the shoes of your family.

Completely with dear on this one. Hello? Don't, don't, don't. If you and your ex have even been discussing this one time thing (which is the only conclusion I can reach when you state you will never date again or even start an affair like you and him have discussed these options) you are close to an affair. Please get counseling..... good luck!

Happy married, my ass. Ugh. This stuff makes me feel ill. To fantasize is human; to act is deplorable. Cheating is a sore subject for me - especially when kids are involved. There is zero excuse.

Think, what if your husband had that same idea, what would you think of that?

i don't even know why you even bothered to ask that question. because, clearly, the answer is NO. it's not right. not at all. it doesn't matter how many times. cheating is cheating is cheating is CHEATING.

also, think about it. how would you feel if you and your husband switched places and he did that to you?

and another post script--look at the consensus we have here.

I agree with the posts above me. It is a very bad idea. It is a can of worms you do not want to open.

Tell me you're joking. You chose marriage. Suck it up.

I'm pretty sure you'd have a difficult time finding someone that would say "one sex session" does not count as an affair.

cgmaetc is right; how would you feel if your husband asked you for something like that?

Honey... you are obviously NOT "Happily Married" if you are thinking of having an affair. You and your husbond need to talk. I agree with sugar on this one.

Good luck.

cheating does change everything, don't do it!!

You're married, so having sex with someone else IS cheating even if it's just once (which I doubt would be the case). I agree with the other comments that having a crush or fantasizing is ok, but acting on those feelings is wrong if you want to continue to be married. Please consider how devastated you would feel if you learned your husband had sex with one of his ex girlfriends! Respect your relationship with your husband and PLEASE don't cheat with this guy!

Look, I've never cheated on anyone, but I've been cheated on a few times and it seems to me that men and women don't live by the same rules. if you want to cheat and you're a woman it's the end of love, but if you're a man it's human. I disagree, but what I do agree with is this... real friendship requires honesty. You're thinking about doing something that could effect him. I think you should talk about it- not in a please forgive me for being impure way- let's be as realistic as men please, but like one friend to another. There are tons different kinds of relationships on this planet- good friendships require honesty, love and care. Everyone seems to think this is a no-brainer, but what if your relationship is changing? Don't cheat on your husband and don't throw down the idea of opening up your relationship so you can get on with a plan, but definitely start thinking about what you really want and don't want. I think a lot of people settle for rules they don't agree with, while I'd never rush away from vows- I would take some time to consider your life and where it's headed right about now.

COMMON SENSE?

you never know what a guy is thinking during sex... this could be a bad bad idea. you have no idea what his intentions are and how far it will go after the first incident.
i read an article on this one site that explains what men think about during sex. after you read it, im sure u'll want to stay with your hubby and forget the old flame.
http://www.savvymiss.com/love-advice/sex-advice/sex-sex-sex-archive/arti...

Definitely no! You risk too many things to have that one time sex session....

you shouldnt act on your impulses...sure the grass looks greener on the other side...but is it worth ruining everything you have going great??

How about we switch around the scenario:

-----------------------

My name is MR. Thinking about it Abigail. I think my ex-girlfriend is REALLY hot. I have a HUGE crush on her. But I'm happily married to my WIFE and I love our kids. Will one night of passion be fine--it's only 1 night! --I've been toying with the idea for awhile...

-----------------------

Will you let your husband sleep JUST ONCE with his ex-girlfriend with whom he has a HUGE crush on?

If you said, yes, then by all means...TELL him your plan on sleeping with your ex-bf because after all..Ohmygoodness...you are in an open marriage! Let's all be fair in love, mm'kay!

This person can't be serious. What moron thinks you can label it "one sex session" to get around calling it what it is--an affair. Take a cold shower and get real.

One night of sex is not worth losing your family.

that is very very rude to your husband how would you feel really if he had one planned sex session with his old flame!!!

Take it from a married woman who went down the same road. We've been together 10 years & married for little over a year now. My husband & I rarely had sex before or after marriage. All his time went to friends & video games. We didn't even have sex on our honeymoon. I freaked when we got married, I didn't want a sexless marriage. I thought things would get better after marriage. They didn't. So, 2 weeks after my honeymoon, I began an affair with a guy I had grown close to over the years. My husband found out about 3 months into the affair. I too, thought it could be a one time thing...it turned into a once a week thing. My husband was absolutely crushed & so were our families and friends. We almost divorced but decided on therapy. That was over a year ago & things are still shaky. Better but shaky. My advice get couples therapy & individual therapy or get a divorce.

I must say, though a lot of these posts are well-meaning, some are just downright mean. Common sense often plays NO part in emotions, and honestly, I don't believe we can control who we are or are not attracted to. That said, it would likely cause a cascade of negative after-effects to pursue sex with an ex you're still crushing on. Remember too that sex for a woman usually involves a good deal of emotions; men seem to be much better at having sex for the sake of the physical act only.

I too am married with children, and I did actually have a one-time "sex session" with a man I was hugely attracted to. It has remained a one-time thing only because he ended up moving to another state. I will tell you frankly that I was completely unprepared for the flood of emotions that followed after that one night. I had no desire to leave my husband--either before that night or after--but this other man was in my mind and in my heart constantly. It was almost completely unbearable. And going through all of that on my own, without the aid of my husband, my best friend, was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

So is it a good thing to pursue this? No. Are you a terrible, horrible person for having these feelings and desires? Of course not. But the main reason I would advise against this is not only because it *could* hurt your family (which honestly, people don't give that much thought when they are in the throes of strong emotions). I would advise against this in the interests of your own self-preservation. The potential emotional fallout simply isn't worth it.

Wow, what a sad, selfish way to think about it. "Don't cheat on your husband because it will hurt YOU... screw what him and the rest of the family would go through. Who has time to worry about other people's feelings when you are in the throes of emotion?"

Well I'm glad you were able to come to terms with/justify what you did, but that doesn't change the fact that it's a selfish, terrible thing to do to someone.

Are you a horrible person? No. But is it a horrible thing to do? Yes. There is a distinction and I think we're all able to make it.

And also, you can't always control whom you are attracted to. But you can absolutely control if you act on it. It's an absolute cop out to say that you can't.

The sex cannot be worth your marriage. You chose marriage!

"I must say, though a lot of these posts are well-meaning, some are just downright mean."

Cheating on your husband and your kids (YEAH, you are cheating on THEM, too) IS MEAN. Not getting a handle on your emotions is mean. All of those things are far more mean that people on a web site who are just stating the obvious. Maybe it needs to be stated bluntly, since this person couldn't come to this conclusion her own.

I have been with my now-fiance for over three years. Yes, I've been attracted to other men. You can't help that. I'm sure he's been attracted to other women, too. But I didn't act on it, and when one "guy friend" started getting too close, I cut off contact then and there, even though I admit that I was attracted and flattered.

There are no shades of gray when satisfying your selfish sexual urges becomes more important than your family.

"I must say, though a lot of these posts are well-meaning, some are just downright mean."

Cheating on your husband and your kids (YEAH, you are cheating on THEM, too) IS MEAN. Not getting a handle on your emotions is mean. All of those things are far more mean that people on a web site who are just stating the obvious. Maybe it needs to be stated bluntly, since this person couldn't come to this conclusion her own.

I have been with my now-fiance for over three years. Yes, I've been attracted to other men. You can't help that. I'm sure he's been attracted to other women, too. But I didn't act on it, and when one "guy friend" started getting too close, I cut off contact then and there, even though I admit that I was attracted and flattered.

There are no shades of gray when satisfying your selfish sexual urges becomes more important than your family.

Don't!!! Keep it a fantasy!!! You will ruin your mariage if you go through with this idea. It is as simple as that. I'm sorry...