Dear Sugar--
I have a question for you but first let me give you some background. I'm 20 years old and have become a huge germaphobe. However I was never like this until I started college 3 years ago. I lived in a dormitory floor that was co-ed. I shared bathrooms with more than 25 girls. I could tell some of the girls did not wash their hands after using the bathroom because sometimes when I was in the bathroom while they are there, I could see them use the toilet and then just leave without washing their hands; thus touching the bathroom door knob that I would eventually touch. This, of course, made feel unclean so I began to wash my hands twice: once in the bathroom and then I would wash it again inside my own room, which had a sink and faucet.
My cleanliness progressed to taking showers every night before I headed to bed, because the thought of sitting on the same toilet seats as the girls who didn't wash their hands after using the bathroom just drove me nuts and would keep me awake. I also didn't even want to shake people's hands or give them hugs or get hugged from the because of the same thoughts I had.
Now I'm in my 4th year of college, living at home, but still carry that germaphobia. It is driving me nuts because now it has gone from medium to intense level, in which I don't want anyone touching my things except for me and a few others.
But I've had enough of this and want to get my life back to where I wasn't so crazy about germs or at least other people's germs. I'm thinking about doing hypnotherapy but I was wondering what you think about that kind of therapy and can you suggest where I can meet with a therapist that my family wouldn't have to know since I'm very embarrassed about this or at least don't want to tell them. Also can you recommend ways to get rid of this germaphobia I have.
--I Hate Germs Gertrude
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Dear I Hate Germs Gertrude--
Germs are pretty gross, especially ones having to do with the bathroom and you're right, a lot of people don't wash they're hands after using the bathroom. While it is a great way to pass along germs and make others sick, it's also a part of life. Germs are everywhere and if you over analyze the thought of passing along bacteria, of course you are going to freak out, but if you are thinking about germs ALL the time, it sounds to me like you may be suffering from a little OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).
If your thoughts are controlling your life, then your fear of germs will prevent you from doing normal day-to-day activities. If you've never tried therapy, I would suggest talking with someone before trying hypnotherapy. Therapists have a lot of experience helping people with obsessive thoughts and behaviors, so don't feel like you're the only one. No one but you needs to know you are going so try not to be embarrassed -- all therapy is 100% confidential. I hope this helps and I wish you luck.
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I agree with Dear, you need to see a therapist or psychologist to see just how bad your obession with germs is. I won't bore you with details, but my hubby was once like this. After getting help and beginning to realize that germs are everywhere & there isn't a way to really control them, he got better. (He didn't have OCD just so you know.) It wasn't overnight and he still is a little obesessive sometimes. Good luck hon and know there are people out there who also deal with this. You aren't alone.
1I agree that some people are down right out gross. I have seen a lot of women that look clean do some gross things in public restrooms. One time I was washing my hands and noticed a pair of glasses on the floor in a stall. I figured someone forgot them. So when I went to get them the stall was locked. I then saw the women pick them up walk out put them on her face and leave! I was shocked! When I change into my gym clothes I stand on my shoes as I get dressed then put my sock and shoe on one at a time trying to balance to make sure I don't touch anything. So I do understand where you are coming from. I know some germs are good for us, but I would much rather them be all mine. I have a slight case of that were I need to do things a certain way. (For instance I must have the bed made before I leave for the day or I eat half of a sandwich then pick the other half apart and eat each item separately.)
As for fixing your urge to keep clean, I agree with DearSugar and see a professional. It doesn't mean you are crazy, it just means you developed a case of OCD. But don’t feel like you are alone, one of the most famous germ-a-phob out there is Howie Mandel. He doesn’t like to shake hands or have people touch him. That is why he does the now famous hand bump on his show Deal or No Deal.
2Talk to someone. They will be able to point you in the right direction.
Good Luck!
It sounds like a bit of Obessive/Compulsive disorder, which I have as well. I check things and am also a bit of a germophobe. Visit a therapist and they can help with meds to lower your general anxiety and/or exercises you can do to calm yourself. I take an anti-anxiety pill that stopped my panic attacks and also lowers my OCD symptoms, but does take them away completely.
But people ARE gross. Here's what I do in public potties. I always wipe off the seat. Then I cover it with paper. Then I grab paper towels before I wash my hands so after I suds and rinse I can turn off the water with the paper. Then I keep the paper, walk over to the dispenser, and get another small piece. I throw away the wet one, and use the small piece to open the door if there is a handle. Toss it in the trash as you walk out or just behind the door. Don't worry about littering, they should have a basket by the door. If there is only a fan dryer-blech! They are dirtier and you should grab some potty paper to ge out the door.
It's not weird, it's healthier!
3Oops...the pill does NOT take the OCD stuff away totally.
4i am with daisie. i carry the antibacterial hand wipes in my purse. i use them to wipe off places that germs can linger, like grocery carts, phones, door knobs, other surfaces that are commonly touched.
i once read a story that elevator buttons have more germs than bathrooms. how many people touch those a day, and how often are they cleaned.
I know i am a bit OCD, however i got sick really easily as a child, so i had to be more aware. my friends all make fun of me for it, but they always ask for one...
5I definitely don't think the hygiene precautions everyone has described so far in public toilets is too much - I think it's necessary!!! I always open the door with a towel that I used to turn off the faucet (if they're available, I know hand dryers are better for the environment). What I hate (since I live in the UK) are the poles, etc. (whatever you call them!) in BUSES and the Tube. I ALWAYS have to hold onto them because otherwise I'll totally fall whenever there's a lurch or a stop, but they are absolutely disgusting - and you can always smell how gross the seats, etc. are.
6humm, maybe you are trying to wash off something that soap and water can't get rid of. are you happy in your living situation, or with the choices you and those around you are making?
7I agree it sounds like it might be a case of OCD manifesting as germ phobia and there are treatments that can help with that. I have never been germ phobic at all, but I can see how thinking too much about it could make anyone paranoid!
8-
I'm not sure if this will help, but my philosophy about germs has always been that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. The vast majority of germs out there are totally harmless and some, like the bacteria in your stomach, are even beneficial. And I figure it's better to get an occasional case of flu than to destroy your immune system by overusing antibiotics. It's important to practice basic sanitation (like washing your hands after using the bathroom!), of course, but overdoing it can backfire and actually make you *more* susceptible to harmful germs, so with germs, as with just about everything else in life, really, a happy medium is best. Good luck!
OCD usually is the result of something else manifesting itself through some type of behavior. Translation: Something else is probably bothering you - maybe you're not evern aware of it - but it's coming out in the form of your being germophobic. Could be the stress of school since it started in college.
That being said - the instant I walk in a motel/hotel room, I remove the bedspread and put it in a corner. I KNOW they never wash that between guests. And the glasses, too. I only use the plastic ones that come prewrapped.
9Im an obssessive tweezer. I have tweezers in the car, my ofice, my bathroom and my bedroom. If I don't have a pair I will try to tweeze with my finger nails and make them sore to the touch. I am also an obssesive cleaner. hmm.
10Your school should have some kind of medical health care available. Check with them about talking with a therapist. If you go through school services you shouldn't have to worry about your parents knowing you are talking to a therapist, although you really should tell them at some point. It's a lot easier to get help if you have people to support you.
11Also, if this will help, try to remember that yes, germs are everywhere and it's ok to take precautions to lower your exposure to them - but if you are healthy and have a normally functioning immune system, your body can fight off a lot of germs! I think those of us who live in NYC have developed special immune systems from riding the subways.
12Everybody have a little OCD in them, the difference is to realice that you are doing certain things that start getting too obsessive, and try to stop it.
A good way to fight that is the "shock therapy" which is to face the things you dont like, and try to get used to them. For example, if you can't stop thinking about the germs on your hands and you want to wash your hands all the time, then try not to wash them as often as u would and analice what you are feeling and thinking.
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