Blame the mother? Not so fast. Turns out, depression in dads can be just as bad for kids as having a mother with mental health issues. According to experts from the University of Oxford, doctors have been focusing far too much on the mothers' problems. Kids, especially boys raised by alcoholic or depressed dads, are far more influenced by troubled fathers than previously thought. But until recently, no one was paying much attention:
The Oxford team said it was not surprising much of researchers' emphasis had focused on mothers as, in most societies, it is mothers who provide the majority of childcare — particularly when children are very young. But they said the role of men had been "underemphasised" . . . In addition, the peak age for men to be affected by psychiatric disorders is the same as the peak age for becoming a father — between 18 and 35.
As a result, young kids can develop behavioral problems, while teens are at a higher risk of depression and other mental-health issues. Do you think daughters are more affected by their mothers' mental health, while boys are more impacted by dads?
Dress for Less
Woolrich
Sandro
I'm rather confused as to why this has to be a Mom vs. Dad..male vs. female depression issue. Depression effects everyone when it's in the room. Unfortunately these days it's effecting a lot more families
1No, the opposite-sex parent I would think affects children more, simply because how kids model their future relationships is somewhat influenced by their relationship with the opposite-sex parent.
People are always saying that daughters tend to marry men like their fathers, and sons women like their mothers [there's also been talk that this also happens regardless of sexuality, not sure how valid it is, but I believe it]...that's because your parent is the first interaction you have with the opposite sex. So of course that parent's mental health will affect you more, because you'll carry it on into your future relationships one way or another.
2I think the relationship between my parents affected me more, not one or the other, though margo makes an interesting point about opposites.
3Indeed depressed dad affect children just as much as mothers. My dad had chronic depression (we kids do not know if its chemical or situational but we suspect chemical). I never understood as a child why my dad choose to be so lonely, why he didn't always want to play, and why some days he would come home from work eat dinner quietly without saying a word to anyone in the house and then go to his room crawl in bed and stay there until the next day. Now I look back and see that as long as I can remember this was an issue.
As a result I watch for signs of depression in myself and in my siblings. The problem is when I do recognizing myself slipping toward that blackness I get help. I see my siblings going into that dark place I say something to them and they ignore me and ignore the depression and things get 50x worse for them. They all try to self-medicate either with food, exercise, pot or drink rather than trying to get to the root. All I have to say to them to get them to realize that their behaviour is really bad is..."Hi Ed"(our dad). They seem to get it then that the depression that they despised my dad for and that they eventually pitied him for is invading their lives making them just like him.
Margokhal - interesting theory on the opposite sex parent affect a child more. I was definitely daddy's girl when I was little and work-wise I'm very much like my dad. I want to work using my brains and hands. Whether I like my job or the task you ask me to do I will complete it at the highest possible level of work without complaining but I will not fake enthusiasm. I'll trudge along until their is nothing left of me and I won't blame others for my misfortunes just like my dad.
However, goal-wise and behaviour wise I behave like my mom. Ultimately I loved to be a housewife/caretaker of others, I'm very optimistic but can be very snarky and skeptical at the same time. My mom was an aggressive person and my dad was passive aggressive. Me I'm aggressive like my mom. Temper-wise I'm the best of both parents cause my dad was measured in his reactions to things and my mom was well vicious in her temperament. I very quickly look at situations and determine which is the best course of action for me them express myself in that manner which I suppose to other people makes me look odd - like I run hot and cold when really its the situation, the person and the consequences that determine how I'll react.
4I am glad to finally see that this issue is being talked about. I am a Daddy's girl and my father's moodiness has always affected me. I found that I have dated moody guys and it never really worked out. Sometimes just hearing it being said aloud in public is enough for people to get help and realize how much a father can affect his children. Where a father's state of mind is is just as important as him being there everyday.
5Believe it or not women marry men who remind them of their mothers (straight women, too, in case anyone is confused).
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