Even if I didn't save myself for marriage, I have friends who did, often for religious reasons, and it was sweet to imagine them having a real "wedding night" on their wedding night. On last night's episode of The Hills, Heidi's Southern-Baptist high-school boyfriend, Colby, and his girlfriend come to visit; the couple doesn't drink and sleeps in separate hotel rooms. They're very open about the fact that they're waiting to do "it" until saying "I do."
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If the other option is turning out like Spencer Pratt, maybe saving yourself for marriage isn't a bad idea. And as I recently learned, there doesn't necessarily have to be a separation of church and sex. How do you feel about the idea? Did you wait until marriage to do the deed? Did you have friends who did?
Givenchy
Goldmajor
Katia Lombardo
Totally waited.
Totally worth it.
Totally happy.
1Spencer was SO rude!
2I think its a personal choice. Whatever works for the person/couple. I didnt wait until marriage but if it works for some people thats cool too.
3So ok, i dont want to sound mean but these people made Spencer actually seem logical.I was on his side for the first (and last?) timel.I respect people who want to wait,( what can you do anyways?) , but it was a bit unconfortable listening to them sayig these things in 2009. And no obviously i didnt wait, but he s the first and only man anyway as it seems.
4good god no, i didn't and i don't know anyone who is waiting either...but i do have a 27 year old virgin friend who just hasn't gotten laid and i told her she better just pretend she's waiting til marriage now cuz otherwise she just looks like a loser
5there are benefits to either i feel; do whatever you want safely. also, spencer is an idiot. if he came to colorado and was questioned by virgins about his sexual preferences like that i don't think he would be very pleased. he was treating them like aliens; they're just virgins for pete's sake!
6Wow, those are some harsh and judgemental comments. I mean really, how exactly does it affect anyone else what someone chooses to do (or not do).
7I didn't get to watch the clip (no audio at my desk computer) but
a) I just don't get the "its 2009" comments
b) 27 year old virgin makes your friend a "loser"? And your her friend to say that?
No and no, but I'm not about to get judgemental either way. Your body, your life, your choice.
8I often am weary of those who pontificate their beliefs. Just as i'm weary of those that think that up the butt isn't sex. Yeah, that's right, i said it.
9I wouldn't buy a car without test driving it, and I certainly wouldn't commit long-term without seeing if we're sexually compatible. Bad sex would be a deal breaker for me.
10I didn't click on the clip because I can't stand that blonde guy with the flesh-colored beard.
11I have a few friends who waited until marriage, and I know a couple who have been together for almost 5 years and they've not even had a kiss (french-kissing).
No, I didn't wait myself.
But eh, everyone can do whatever they want, and if they want to discuss their beliefs/disbeliefs about premarital sex, it's going to be up to me if I'm in the mood to entertain them or not.
I didn't wait for marriage (although my boyfriend and I are each other's first and only partners, and intend for it to stay that way) .. just for the right person.
I've really never understood the whole "test drive" theory. If you're both inexperienced and new at it, then yeah - it's awkward and weird the first couple times, but you grow and learn together what works and what does, and what does it for each other. Like my boyfriend said once - maybe we're both actually terrible in bed, but we manage to get each other off just fine so who cares? If you're in a committed relationship, then you *learn* to be compatible sexually. You speak up and go "Hey, you know, that's not really doing it for me, " or "You know what I might like to try some time?"
12My husband and I waited and I wouldn't change a thing if I could. Sure it was awkward the first time but we learned together. It's a personal choice and I'm quite happy with the one we made.
13xxstardust, my thoughts exactly! I'm in the same situation, even down to the part about both being virgins in the beginning and the prospect that we're both actually "terrible", even though we do more than well enough for each other!
. We had no grace in the beginning - I'm
not even going to pretend that was the case - but we talked to each other, gave suggestions, told each other what worked and what didn't. Now I have only one person in the world who knows my
body even better than I do, and it's amazing! I wouldn't trade that for the world.
14@RockAndRepublic, LOL!
Yeah, as far as I know...none of my close friends are married, and pretty much all of them have done the deed. Everybody else that hasn't has been pretty close and isn't really expecting to wait...personally, I'm just one of the "loser" kids skigurl is talking about, I guess.
[I hope you're not that judgemental to your 27 year old virgin friend...because she should totally get some new friends who won't judge her like that for her circumstances and
choices. I wish people would have more compassion and understanding about things like this, on both sides - it's a serious pet peeve of mine!]
Whatever/whenever both people are in a healthy relationship with great communication and understand when both are ready to have sex - and that's different for everyone.
15Spencer was being a pretty big jerk.
Although I did not wait for marriage I admire those who did.
16uh, spencer is a total douche! also, it's up to each couple what they want to do in the bedroom. and a 27 year-old virgin isn't a "loser" she's doing what's best for her, and hopefully she can find some new friends if her current ones aren't supportive.
17i don't think being a virgin at 27 makes someone a loser... i personally don't plan on waiting till i am married but i am waiting for the right guy.
18Totally waited and totally worth it.
19It's not for me. But I respect anyone who does wait.
20Is there a way that I can filter out every Hills-related post so I don't need to see them? (I don't even wanna see the summaries!) That would be wonderful.
21I don't like people preaching on both sides. The "it's 2009, get with the times" comments are insensitive to people who would rather wait. It doesn't make someone a loser for choosing to wait. It's also not someone's place to pontificate their religious or cultural beliefs for abstinence on other. No one should tell you what you should do with your body. Go with your heart.
22I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting to have sex until your married, but I did find the couple in this video disturbing. This is mainly because when Spencer asked them why they were waiting, they seemed to have essentially no idea. They muttered something vague about "the lord' but couldn't even reference one bible quote supporting their decision. I have met many intelligent religious people who are able to eloquently and knowledgeably discuss their decision to wait. But these kids just kinda seemed like puppets, going through the motions of how they grew up with no real sense of conviction. Chaste or promiscuous, going along with the crowd is always a mistake in my opinion.
23Its fine if people want to do that. I personally wouldn't. I don't want to get married to a guy who has a micropenis and you find out on your wedding night that he does. I realize not every guy has a micropenis and that I'm on the paranoid end here but yea I do have that on the back of my mind. lol.
I don't think they're losers for wanting to wait. Whatever does it for them. I used to be very religious, and I had friends who wanted to wait until their wedding day and back then I did too, but I eventually decided to walked away from christianity at the age of 23 and now my thoughts on religion, sex, and everything is different.
I don't think virginity is anything special, since all of us are born virgins, so we're all virgins by default until we choose to have sex. Anyway I don't think Spencer should look down on people that choose to wait until their wedding day. To each his own.
24I just feel like choosing to wait until you're married is a horrible idea. How do you really know a person unless you have been able to fully give yourself to them? Now, waiting until you're in love... that's something I support.
25While I respect those who wait, I think it is a bit extreme to sleep in separate beds as this couple does (especially on vacation!). If you love someone, you should at least be able to sleep in the same bed! I can't imagine a relationship without cuddling!
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