I think if you want to talk to someone about it, you should talk to the boyfriend, since you said you were friends before they even started dating. I would basically bring up the issues you mentioned to him first (leaving out the part where you say that you hate him) and give him a chance to come clean. Maybe you did or said something to him or your best friend that rubbed him the wrong way...who knows? You won't know until you talk to him.

If he persists in being rude to you, all that you can do is limit time with him. I wouldn't say anything to your friend about it, because she will just get defensive and it will hurt your friendship. Maintain your friendship and do girl stuff separately with her if possible.

Having said that, I have to say that I think it is odd that she herself doesn't notice his rudeness to you...to me, if she is truly your best friend, she would see it and say something to either you or him about it.

I think something else is going on, not sure what. Good luck.

Talk directly to the boyfriend, maybe with your girl friend there too. Just bring it up casually. Say "What's up with you being so mean to me?"

I dont want to sound harsh but men normally have this type of reaction/loss of patience with people who are over oppinionated or nosy. Maybe you gave him advice when he didnt ask for it.. or volenteered your oppinion when it was not wanted. Look back at your own involvement.. was it too much?

At the end of the day its a problem between you and him.. dont tell your friend because it looks like you are trying to cause a problem. If you feel the need to find out whats wrong.. ask him.

(Im forgeign sorry for spelling mistakes)

Oh, see, I would do the opposite of what a lot here have said. I would go to your best friend, whom you've known forever and can trust. Just be honest with her and say, "I've been feeling really uncomfortable around Ben now; I feel like he's been rude to me. I don't know what the issue is, but it hasn't subsided, so I'm just gonna hang back more, okay? But I couldn't stand us not hanging out, so maybe you and I can just get together from now on, and leave the men at home."

Either you can get what you want and have just alone time with her, or she might speak to her bf. If you don't want her to, you could ask, but she might still. At this point, though, who cares? He sounds like an ass so it doesn't matter. And if all that fails and she rises to the defense of her boyfriend, do you really want to be around them? :/

If you are comfortable talking to him, then go right ahead. I know I probably would feel better just talking to my bestie about it, and solve the issue behind the scenes. But I do echo the first prson-- as your best friend, she should/might have noticed something already.

Ask him what's up with the man handling and the rudeness.You said you two got along fine before he started dating your friend. Maybe he's jealous of your friendship or maybe he's just an a$$hole who desperately needs to be put in his place.Either way you need to talk to him ,with or without your friend there, find out what's going on and why he's suddenly flipped the switch on your friendship with him.

And while you're at it, you should remind him to keep his hands to himself because if he doesn't you're gonna have to b*tch slap him the next time.The insults are bad enough, but a man being rough with a woman for any reason, is a whole other story.That crap needs to stop ASAP.

Where's your husband and what's he doing while all this is going on. Just curious.I know if it were my husband he would have put an end to that the very first time any man even attempted to slap me like one of the guys.

Good luck and I really hope you can get to the bottom of it and it all works out.You shouldn't have to sacrifice a close friendship with someone you care about because of him....

I would talk to the best friend about it. But can't you avoid him? Just try to make plans with your friend one-on-one?

He could be an abusive personality, and is trying to push you out of her life, and isolate her.

These situations are always tough. If you go to your friend and say something, you are pretty much risking your friendship. People in love are some of the most delusional people on earth, and she'll probably do anything to keep her vision of him as an amazing guy in tact.

Unfortunately, that means that you'll bear the brunt of it. You don't like him? All of a sudden you're just "jealous of their relationship." Instead of him being mean, you'll become "overly sensitive."

I have watched this time and time again and it's heart breaking.

That said, I'm not sure you should go directly to him either. Your friend might feel upset and slighted by that as well. I can imagine how shocked I would be to find out that a friend of mine had contacted my boyfriend to confront him.

So where does that leave you? Suffering on the sidelines, I think. Except, luisa's idea isn't a bad one, in my opinion. The next time he does something particularly egregious, just call him out. Start standing up for yourself. If he claims he's "just joking" then say, "Really? You pushed me hard enough to hurt me. Maybe you don't know your own strength."

Bottom line, though, is that it's her life. If at some point they get engaged and you think she's about to make the worst decision of her life, go ahead and sacrifice the friendship to try to stop her.

COnfront him about his behaviour in front of your best friend and ask him why he is treating you the way he is, don't do it without your best friend there or he might twist what you said around. Then only later talk to your best friend about her boyfriend's behaviour and be completely honest about your opinion of him and how uncomfortable he makes you feel.

I would bring it up once and only once and if he doesn't change only hang out with her solo. My former best friend was didn't like my boyfriend for whatever reason (it wasn't quite as obvious as yours) and she brought it up so often that it started to be condescending towards me. All you get is one time to tell her how you feel. You don't have to keep it a secret, and you can be obvious about avoiding him, but to continually complain about him will tear your friendship apart.

It sounds like he either likes you more than a friend (you know, guys in middle school were mean to girls they liked) and doesn't know how to handle it, or he's jealous of your relationship with his girlfriend - maybe he feels like you know too much or have too much influence.

Either way, he's out of line and you need to put your foot down. The next time an obvious incident occurs, point it out in front of everyone. Be rational and firm. If you get overly emotional it will make you appear as though you're the one with the problem. Set boundaries, such as, "Please don't touch me again - if you do I don't think we can hang out anymore", etc. It's best if you say things like this with at least one other witness - your husband would be the most logical choice as your best friend will likely side with her boyfriend. The last thing you want to do is make it a dramatic issue. He's mean to you and it needs to stop, period.

He's attracted to you. Corner him and tell him to get over himself.

I have actually been in a weird situation similar to this one, and my advice is not to talk to her about it. JUST because like someone above me said, people in love are delusional. If you go behind his back to her, he will convince her that you are being intrusive (That's what happened to me, at least).

Have you been reacting at all to his awful behavior? If you just laugh it off, chances are that your best friend doesn't even know that it bothers you. I would try to talk to both of them at the same time if at all possible and see what is going on. Make sure you stay calm and have plenty of examples of his bad behavior so that they have no choice but to see you are serious and not just "overly sensitive" or whatever.

I had a very similar situation, where i couldn't stand my best friend's boyfriend but I talked to her about it, and she talked to him, and we both made a conscious effort not to fight or make comments that were rude towards the other one. My best friend didn't even realize he was doing this, until i pointed it out to her and since then we've both been a lot happier, and i"ve actually grown to really like her boyfriend, now fiance, and am glad we were able to work out our differences.

I would be honest with your friend since she's the one you want to keep a friendship with. You don't have to do the it's me or him thing but let her know what's going on.

If you talk privately to her boyfriend, he'll twist your words and intentions around and your friend will think you were being intrusive.

If you talk privately to your friend, she could become extremely defensive.

I'd suggest that you try to spend more time without her boyfriend around. Make girly lunch dates between just you and her, or have a very obvious girl's night with a group of women.

If you're in a situation where the boyfriend is unavoidable, I'd advise not spending too much time in his company. Be polite and cordial to him, but spend more time talking to other people. If he says something rude to you, calmly reply, "That was unnecessary. I'd appreciate it if you didn't speak to me like that again." If he hits you on the back/etc., calmly say, "Please don't touch me." Whatever you do, don't laugh or act like it's okay, because that will encourage the behavior and give mixed messages. If he treats you rudely, calmly and politely call him on it. If he continues to be rude, remove yourself from the situation by walking away and engaging yourself with somebody else. If he becomes even more unbearable, leave the gathering after pulling your friend aside and telling her that, unfortunately, due to _____'s behavior, you no longer feel safe or welcome and must leave.

Why don't you just ask him why he doesn't like you?

I agree with some of the other commentors that he likes you.

~~~~~

The man who speaks to you of sacrifice, speaks of slaves and masters. And intends to be the master.

I think next time he touched me in an aggressive way, I would say something like 'ow, that was kind of painful, haha!' and keep doing it until it becomes obvious to one and all that he's being a little bit too rough.

Maybe he'll stop doing it, or alternatively, will explain his behaviour - at the very least it makes it 'out in the open' rather than something that you and your husband have noticed - if you discuss it with your friend now, she might ask you to suggest times when something has happened. If you've actually brought it up out loud, with a comment like, 'oooh, you're a little rough there, buddy!' then she will more likely remember the incidents, and if it's happening all the time, then it will back up what you're saying if you choose to discuss it with her

If this is what he is doing to her FRIENDS what on earth is he doing to her?
These are big warning signs and I would speak to her in private in case it aggravates him in public.

I agree with whoever said that he likes you. Totally. But he's being a complete jerk.

Next time you're all out and, he shoves you or whatever, call him on it. I wouldn't be all soft, like suggested above: "Oh, wow, that kinda hurt, hehehe." More like, "Do you realise you are actually hurting me when you do that?" Then he either says "No, sorry, I didn't" and it's sorted, or he doesn't and he's just been a jerk in front of all your mutual friends. Then you have a chat with your best friend.

I don't exactly know how to handle it... kind of in a similar situation myself. But I do know what NOT to do, and that's talk behind your friend's back. I made the mistake of blabbing to a few people and it resulted in my girlfriend awkwardly confronting me about disliking her bf. We eventually talked it through but it could have been handled better.
And yeah, I kind of agree with other commentors that this guy may have a crush on you. Maybe being a jerk is his way of like, trying to convince himself and others that he doesn't have those feelings.

This is tricky.

I lost a very good friend once because I came between her and her boyfriend. He confided to me (he was also a friend)- in strictest confidence- that he had cheated on his girlfriend with several girls in the space of a month and had not used protection. Because her health was involved, I gave him 24 hours to tell her, or I would. He instead told his girlfriend that I was going to call her and lie about him (for god knows what reason) and not to believe me. When I called her up, she said that she was sorry, but she had to "trust her heart" and chose to believe what he had told her.

I suppose believing otherwise was too painful.

However, it did not work in her favor. They broke up a year later, and he gave her an STD. Believe you me, I take absolutely no joy in the fact that I was right, and that she now knows it.

In your case, I would say that unless you think your friend's health or happiness is at stake, or she asks you outright whether you like her boyfriend, keep your mouth shut.

It would be an odd best friend who wasn't already aware of your opinion abut her boyfriend, whether you told her or not, anyway. I am almost positive that she is well aware that you don't like him and is taking that, at least subconsciously, into account.