Just hope it doesn't catch up with you. Lies have a silly way of doing that. And, I hope you got tested, because if you didn't, you you really have something, dormant laying in wait, and you pass it on. There goes goes that lie. If you're going to lie, make sure you cover you r lies and remember them all. But lying's wrong. Now your relationship is going to be based on lies, unless this is the only one you're going o tell. Make sure he doesn't find out, because he will be pretty upset. Maybe he won't be totally angry about the number. But he will be pissed about you lying to him. No one likes to be lied to. (Well, no sane person).

I so hate that question! It shouldn't come up in a relationship - unless something major happen, i.e. one of you got tested positive on STD.

Telling your bf an incorrect number of your former sexual partners isn't exactly a malicious lie - rather a white lie to make him feel better. Not many men are so keen to learn that their current gf has slept with 20 men (I made up that number) while they only had slept with two women (again, a made up number).

As long as you two practice safe sex/got tested, everthing should be peachy.

My opinion on this has always been that your intimate life is just that, intimate/private. Why do people ask this question? I've never wanted to know or tell. It's a definite "forgive", like lying about your weight.

forgive. he shouldn't have asked, you shouldn't have answered. this question is almost always inappropriate. even if you find out one of you tested positive for an STI, the number of partners (as long as they were all BEFORE your relationship with this boyfriend) isn't going to have any bearing on how/why/when you got an STI.

Forgive - people shouldn't be asking for numbers anyway! The most important thing is that you're healthy, both emotionally and physically - make sure you've been thoroughly tested for STIs! - the rest is unecessary detail.

Forgive. How many people you've been with is your business. I understand why you lied. It would have looked worse if you had just refused to answer.

Not forgive. Why lie? Either tell the truth or say you're not comfortable discussing it.
I, for one, am always honest about how many partners I've had and expect my SO to do the same.

When you're sleeping with someone, your sexual past becomes their "business", too.

I lie, too. They don't really want to hear how many men you've slept with. And personally, I don't ask because I don't want to know. I wish men would realize they don't really want to know either.

I'm undecided, because I wouldn't lie about something like that - but then again, it sounds like the OP is ashamed of the number and her b/f's reaction to it ["omg, you're a slut!", etc.], which is something she needs to come to grips with.

Just as long as you haven't caught an STD or other disease from those encounters...because then how many people you've slept with and who you've slept with really DOES become your boyfriend's business, I don't see the harm in giving him the lower number. Why did he really want to know, anyway? That's what I'd ask.

Forgive, that's one of those questions that nobody really wants the answer to.

I guess my question woud be, would you be upset if he lied to you about the number of girls he slept with? If you would be, then feel guilty, if not... then sometimes people just don't need to know ALL of the truth!

I'd forgive. As long as you've been careful and STD-free, this isn't anyone's business but your own. // This question should never come in a conversation...EVER. I wonder if we can add this to The Rule book. lol.

As long as you don't have any sexual transmitted diseased you should not tell him anything, guys get very insecure when you have a lot of sexual experienced. You shouldn't have give him a number you should of have tell him that you would live it to his imagination. or that it was none of his business

I'd forgive. If you'd lied about being a virgin when you'd actually slept with someone--even just ONE, that would be unforgivable since that's claiming you have no STD risk. That's a lie that puts your partner's health at risk. Whether it's only 2 people or 12, you should be taking the same precautions and tests.

Okay, If Im in a relationship with someone, and Im sharing my body with someone i love and trust, than hell yeah i would wanna know how many women he's been in. I say not forgive, why lie? You were obviously ashamed.

Forgive.. its actually none of his business. It just leads to obsessing over who they were and comparing

holy guacamole, this is the ONE question you should ALWAYS lie about!!

I once had a boyfriend admit to me that for the first 5 years of his sex life, he only did it with hookers. Trust me, even though I was glad to have the info for medical reasons, I wish I had NEVER KNOWN. We broke up shortly after that, because in return for his honesty, I admitted to him how many men I really slept with, and that jerk felt it was too many and DUMPED ME. He even called me a wh*re. LOL - I'm sorry, WHAT?

So, my current boyfriend, who knows better than ask me, probably thinks I slept with about ten times less people than I did. I'm not embarrassed - but I know that not everyone can handle that truth, and especially guys - poor, self-conscious, insecure guys.

Unless you've been really good and have only slept with 3 men, please just don't ever give an answer to that question; and if you feel like you must, LIE OUT OF YOUR MIND!

Provided your er... BEHAVIOUR... doesn't put him at risk then what is the big deal?

I never saw the point of lying about your previous numbers. I have more than my boyfriend but he's never asked me for my number. He's only ever been with me and one other girl so er... it's not a discussed issue. =)

As long as you're STD-free, the actual number doesn't matter too much, but why be ashamed of it? Was his number extremely low or something like that? I once got dumped by a guy who'd slept with 5 women because I told him I was a virgin (which wasn't a lie). He claimed he didn't sleep with virgins because they lacked experience and didn't know what to do in bed. I was actually really glad he broke up with me because the fact that he'd slept with that many girls made me feel a bit intimidated.

I was with a guy who had bedded over 14 women... and he was still rubbish in bed. =)
Is 5 a lot? Is it?? :/

Eh. I dunno what to say. That's a topic never discussed between me and any lovers I've ever had and including my fiancee.
As long as you're STD-free and safe, he shouldn't be concerned about your number. If I were you, I'd probably say that, along the line 'Whatever the number is, I'm sure you've probably been with more women/you're more experienced than I am.'

I hate that question. I usually just avoid answering it. It's just a number, and if you don't have an STD and are faithful to just him, whats it really matter?

I said not forgive. Just b/c, yeah the number doesn't really matter and he doesn't really need to know. But you just shouldn't lie about anything, especially in a relationship, just for the principle of the thing. Your number is part of who you are and the choices you made. Wouldn't you want your bf to be accepting of who you really are? Not some lie he thinks you are. If a guy couldn't accept the number of other guys I chose to be with, then I wouldn't want to be with him anyway. I want my bf to accept me for exactly who I am, not lies.

bbkf: "When you're sleeping with someone, your sexual past becomes their "business", too."

For real, I agree. Why does everyone keep saying it isn't any of their business. Just b/c something doesn't matter physically (STI wise) doesn't mean it isn't any of their business. How many people you have slept with is part of what makes you who you are. So why isn't it the business of a guy that is dating you to know who you really are? And why is everyone saying guys don't really want to know the answer but ask anyway? I would hope that any guy someone is willing to date can figure out what he wants to know without all of our help. Guys are simple right. They wouldn't ask something they wouldn't want to know. And sometimes, even though knowing something bothers you, it's WAY better to know, than to wonder. So guys probably do want to know. Even though it bothers them, it's better than wondering forever.

Forgive.

My partner asked me, and I answered truthfully. However I don't want to know his number, it's not that important. What is important is that we're both clean and committed to one another.

Why does that question get asked in relationships? I've never understood it. Whatever you did before you met your boyfriend is your business and not his. Next time, don't even give him a number. Just tell him 'There were a few, and that's the last time we'll have this conversation.'

I don't think it's a huge deal. TONS of people lie. I just don't answer. No one should ever answer.

The "no one's business" thing is not entirely accurate. I think it's more like this:

1. It is a "Does this dress make me look fat?" type of question. No correct answer.
2. When you know the number you make a lot of false judgments at the beginning of a relationship.
3. There are always going to be things you don't tell your boyfriend... like that you bite your toe nails in private.

Forgive. I will probably take this answer to my grave.

I would forgive. Just like my mom said there are things women should always keep to themselves. A true lady never talks about her past as well as gentlemen never talk about girls they slept with neither. I got asken the same question by my fiance and had to lie about it to. i told him i was with 3 guys when itz really 5! You do feel guilty but itz best to leave the past buried in the past is something i bet you dont really care about anymore anyways. And plus a relationship is not about the past is about now and what future you can make with this person. And if this person is to be your husband oneday you don't want to risk that he can throw things u did even before him to your face later on. You need to protect your hapinness! And pluss if u do end up staying with this person what's gonna count is what you are going to do inside the marriage not what you did before. And if you don't stay with this person telling him about your past is something he's going to keep from you or how you kno probably he gossips about it. U never know so just keep this stuff to yourself.

Ok. Here's your answer. This is how the game works. How many women has he slept with? You'll tell him a number, if he tells you first. But first, what was the color of their hair and what did they do for a living? Did he use safe sex? When did he loose his virginity and how? And how many men did those girlfriends sleep with? I'm sorry? He doesn't know? Why, didn't he ask them and write it down somewhere like he's asking you? This is a loaded conversation that will go nowhere. I mean nowhere. Don't ever, EVER enter that type of conversation. Because you weren't prepared you made up a number. Do you think he even cares to really know? If it really concerned him maybe he should have asked before he slept with you. That added to your number by the way. Anyway if my husband asked me I would give him an answer if he gave me 50,000 in cash, wrapped in red rubber condoms. Would it be the number? Hah! Perhaps some women who are thin, attractive and smart are wanted by men. Also used by men. Nothing we can do about how many times that happens is there?

From a guys perspective, I think a web of lies will catch up with you eventually. It's better to get it out in the open before someone really feels hurt or betrayed. It's a bigger deal for some men more on the sensitive side , while other men will have a more apathetic mentality towards the matter. You need to know who you are dealing with. He may be smart enough or if he listens enough , as time goes on, it will eventually add up or click. Don't let him piece together your lies over time. Keep your conscience clean and your trust sacred from the start. You will eventually find a man who has tolerance for the truth.