Sorry to say it, hon, but no, there is absolutely no hope for you. He's out and out telling you he isn't interested in a relationship. He's using you for sex. You're giving him permission to walk all over you. If you don't want to be used anymore, stop letting him use you. End of story.

He's being a GUY, behaving like a neanderthal, and I find it interesting that you find his behavior "genuinely sweet". I think you deserve more than that.

We teach people how we want to be treated. You will never be more than a booty call. Cut the ties, and move on, you deserve better.

he is being completely honest with you, which is more than i can say for most guys. say thank you for his honesty and move on! you can totally do better than that crap!

I don't know how it's "using" when you're allowing it and he is being completely honest about his intentions. Whatever you read into his actions is just that--reading into it. You see what you want to see. Guys don't usually analyze their own or others' actions as much, and he's been open and aboveboard with you. All you can go on is what is has said. If that's not what you want, then move on, but there is no reason to feel low self-esteem about casual sex between consenting adults.

You're no victim here, honey.

If he liked you enough, he'd be with you. Bottom line. I'm sorry.

Of course he's being really sweet to you when you hook up...you're giving him no-strings-attached sex, for cryin' out loud. He doesn't want a relationship; just sex. So if you want a relationship, look for a different guy. If you want to just keep randomly hooking up with this guy without taking it to the next level, that's your choice.

If you are letting do whatever he wants to, he isn't using you. You are allowing yourself to be used. Don't let him walk all over you and then cry because you don't like it.

And I agree with Ski, be thankful he is at least being upfront and saying "I don't want a relationship" instead of saying he wants one and cheating on you.

It's not his fault it's yours.Stop making yourself the victim because you aren't.Grow a pair, tell him it's over and stop allowing yourself to be used as a f*ck buddy.

He's not using you if you're allowing him to do this to you.

No one can use you unless given a permission by you.
At least, he's honest about not wanting a relationship with you, just move on and send him on his way (tell him you want a real relationship, if he doesn't want it with you, to stop calling you altogether).
Your giving in to him every time will not sway him, he's not going to magically want a relationship with you. No one can sway a guy with great sex, I mean, he can have great sex too with other women.

Please just cut it off, and if you can't, don't come crying and moaning how he's using you. You know better.

This is a non-question.

You're being "used" (which you aren't) by a guy who has been abundantly clear about what he wants (and doesn't want).

If you don't like it, leave him! And yes, you can. It's as easy as saying good bye and having some backbone.

everything popgoestheworld said plus, you don't need to be his friend,either.

Well said, spiderlove!
And I agree with Pop, you're not being used at all, honey. He's being honest with you, which a lot of people wouldn't be in the same situation.

You're a grown up, it's time to make choices. Either stay with him purely for sex, or leave him and look for someone who wants a relationship with you. He's told you what his expectations of the relationship are, and if you choose not to live with those, you can choose to leave.

Call him up and tell him you don't think you should see him anymore. Break it off, girly, on the phone NOW. He is using you and you will not be in a relationship with him for whatever reason! It's happened to me and ditching the guy was the most empowering thing ever. Get used to breaking up with guys, it makes you strong.

i was in the same situation.. i can totally relate to that...but once i took a step back and cut every string attached.. i felt much better and realize i am so much better than that, i had the right to the full package!!!

Wow, I think people are being a bit harsh. My current boyfriend (of 5 1/2 years) was just a FWB for about 9 months before we made it official, and he had the same concerns about commitment during those 9 months. Sometimes it DOES work out if you wait it out, and sometimes men have commitment issues that go beyond "he's a jerk" or "he's just using you." Geez.

He's being sweet so you keep giving him sex. His words tell you what's really going on, so if you want more that just sex about of a relationship, move on (fast) to a guy who wants to same things.

He's not using you. He's telling you he doesn't want a relationship and you keep giving it to him anyway. Stop hanging out with him completely.

Um, he's not that into you. And he's being honest.

Just sounds like another guy who knows how to play the game and tell you what you want to hear.

Wish I could say I hadn't been there.

Stop! Get a hobby - I suggest knitting! seriously! forget about this guy!

So do I itsme.

Anyways, I'm sure the girl is aware on some level that she's not being used. Like she said she just can't think of a better way to describe it. I felt the same way when I was in her shoes; I felt used and I was angry for feeling used at all because the guy was forward about it as well. It was just hard to stop. Maybe you're still holding on because it's just plain hard to give up the sex or you hope that maybe there's a slim chance it will go the next level. If you want to know what happened to me: it didn't go further. I just stopped talking to him. It was extremely hard, yeah, but not as hard as it was playing that guessing game (that wasn't supposed to be a guessing game in the first place when he laid his cards out on the table from the very beginning). Good luck to you.

you know what hun i went through the same thing. some of the replies are right your feeling like he is using you but its because you are letting it happen. he has already made it clear he doesnt want a relationship, having sex when he wants isnt gonna change. im sorry. your self-esteem is so low you feel like you cant do better and feel like you have to put up with it. your addicted to him and his charming ways. i was seeing someone for 2 months and became FWB for about a few months and felt he wanted to be with me but stringed me along. when i would try to stop seeing him i was just so miserable i ended up hooking up again, I got pulled into his strong personality. i was angry at him for a long time. but alot of it was my fault too i was head over heels for someone who didnt fully appreciate me. you need to stop making contact with him, see if he starts making contact after you stopped. i would just take time to yourself. he knows what hes doing if you are the one talking about relationships with him. your letting him string you along. go out with new people.

He's not using you, or maybe you're 'letting' him use you? But not really. He told you what he wants, not it's up to you to decide what you want. He obviously doesn't want anything more form you than sex and pretend friendship. Why don't you keep your dignity and cut him out of your life. Unless you just want someone for sex on the side, then get rid of him. It really isn't that hard.

I have been in your shoes, girl! It is definitely a tough situation, especially considering that a few times he openly has considered having a relationship. I would be confused, too. I think the best thing to do is either stop hooking up/hanging out with him and find a man who is ready to commit, or take it for what it is as a hook up. Good luck!

I also have been in this situation, and I foolishly let it last for 9 months. 9 months of pure agony and heartbreak, tears and low self-esteem, just misery all around. He was telling me it would never get serious but I refused to let go. I kept going back to him even though I knew deep inside he would never come around. This guy is definitely using you but you are also letting him do this to you. I know your heart tells you different but please, please listen to your head. You can't be friends with this guy either, because you'll always let it go back into a physical relationship and you'll be stuck. It's been 2 years and I'm still trying to get over it. If you let it last longer, it'll be that harder to get over.

All I see here is "I'm putting out for nothing and he's only using me for sex!" Um... what? =)
You need to stop having sex with him if you feel your casual relationship should be more than um... casual.

i feel d same way 2 cos somethin like dis is actually happenin 2 me 2 and i am so confused bcos we both like each other so much but i guess he is jst scared 2 move 2 d next stage and i wnt dat 2 happen so much, yes d sex is great but i wnt more than dat or am i askin 4 2 much

I'm actually in this situation right now. He's my best friend and he really seems like someone so trustworthy, and then next thing you know, he makes out with me then talks about the girls he has crushes on.

It's so frustrating, but reading many of the responses, I need to man up and tell him to stop, or I'll keep feeling like crap.