Any ideas for wedding hair for me would be helpful as well. She told us to do what we want as there is no place near the location to have our hair done, and it's an early wedding. I have no skills as to hair and makeup (makeup ideas are a help too) so it needs to be something relatively easy. The wedding is outdoors in May so I need to keep those conditions in mind. My hair is shoulder length, wavy, thick, frizzy, and heavy (updos, even ponytails, don't stay unless I use super hold hair spray). The only stipulation is that I cannot wear a headband as that's too similar to the bride's do.

So do you not like alcohol because you are a recovering alcoholic, or just because you look down on it?

If you're a recovering alcoholic, just let them go out to a bar and have fun and you should stay home. If you just look down on people who drink, I'm going to go with the "suck it up" advice.

I realize you don't like your sister, but please do your best to try to make this a nice time for her.

Pop is right though, if you just look down on people who drink a lot, I'd have to suggest that you kind of 'suck it up' if your sister and her bridesmaids all love to go to bars. Just don't drink, if you can't stand alcohol.
As to find out what your sister wants/likes, how about talking to the other bridesmaids? Ask them to give you suggestions on what to do, where to go (esp. if you're not familiar with the places they all hang out). Then make a decision what to do, for all you know, your sister is more mellow and not want to go to a club-type atmosphere before the wedding. Of course, if you're a recovering alcoholic, just skip it and let them have a good time.

As for make up tips, I dunno if we can post link, I'm totally like you (clueless when it comes to make-up), how about browsing bella sugar, research a little. OR, I usually go to this gal's website: http://tokyostargirl.wordpress.com/
Or if you have money to burn, research your local beauty section on, say, craigslist (for example), or google or ask around where. Sometimes some make up artist will offer make up lesson (around $25-$50).

As for hair, I have similar type of hair but longer. I'd probably try to just blow-dry it straight or use something to straightened it out and just let it hang down. Maybe put some type of prettier hair pin that's not too overwhelming.
I saw the 'As Seen ON Tv' too, the EZ Combs, I'm interested in purchasing them (you can visit your local "As Seen ON TV" stores or go to your Walgreen (where I'll be purchasing them). Google it and you'll know what I'm talking about. Maybe it'll work out for you.

I'm going to repeat what pop says, I know you and your sister aren't close, but try your best to make everything smooth and nice. Don't panic and try to relax and enjoy as much as you can. Good luck.

*Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, just be sure to give it AFTER your conditions have been met.*

Just ask your sister what she would like to do. Tell her that you would like to plan something where you are sure that she would have a good time. Then do whatever she wants to do. Perhaps you could do a nice dinner and then a limo ride, or a girls getaway weekend or something. In any case, please make sure that your decision is based mainly on what your sister would enjoy, since the party is for her, not you. I think that you have to understand that most people enjoy drinking. If you are that uncomfortable with it, then you could plan a nice dinner, limo ride, then go to the club for awhile but leave early when everyone starts getting wasted. You sound like a bit of a party pooper, and not because you don't drink alchohol. I know plenty of people that don't drink but still love going to clubs/bars and dancing or socializing. In any case, make sure that you plan something that your sis wants and don't be afraid to ask her. Good luck.

Ask your sister what she would like to do for a group activity. I would do one non or little alcohol activity like dinner, lunch, movie, bowl, paint ceramics,work on the wedding, or anything else creative. Later on that night go out to a club and make a whole day of fun. Stay for little while give an explanation to your leaving if asked.

I don't know what area you live in, so your choices might be limited. If your sis says she wants to hit some bars, you could try to find the type that have more than just drinking going on. There are loungy ones that have cooshy couches so you don't have to worry about standing in a mob of people. There are ones that have live music, bands, or even piano players that take requests from the audience. Others have pool, bowling, or other fun group activities that let drinkers and non-drinkers have fun together. Finding those kinds of places can be more fun, but they can be more expensive.

A) Get over yourself and B) Quit causing drama. I can only imagine what a nightmare your family gatherings must be, with everyone labeling each other and making assumptions.

Do what we did for my sister-in-law's Bachelorette Party. Rent a suite in a nice hotel and have ingredients there to make a signature drink. At ours, we had vodka, limes, cranberry juice, pomegranate juice and sparkling water. The girls could custom make their drinks.

We drank, talked, took pictures, played a few games, then walked to the bars and went from place to place having fun. You are fully capable of doing this without drinking and without judging those who choose to drink.

Why not offer to be the designated driver?

I had to plan a bachelorette party for my future sister-in-law whom I didn't know all that much about either (long story). My advice is pretty basic: find out what your sister wants. She wants a wild night out on the town? Get her friends involved that know more about the bar/club scene in your area than you do. She wants something more lowkey? What about an at-home spa night? Some places offer at home services for mani/pedis. Get some food, some alcohol, and a few games, and go from there.

Also, ask your sister if there are other friends/coworkers she would like invited. It might add a few people to the mix that can diffuse the tension you seem to think is inevitable. It also may take the focus off you not being a party girl.

But my most important advice, is that once you know what she wants, commit. Even if she wants a wild night out and you can't stand the thought, suck it up and at least act like you are having fun. And wear comfy shoes!

I have to agree that you sound like you need a little attitude adjustment. You don't have to like it to accept it... applies to family AND alcohol. This isn't about you or what you think everyone should do, so lighten up and try to have some fun... which means being friendly with people even if you disagree with them or their beliefs, religious or otherwise.

I have a younger sister that I don't see/talk to on a regular basis and ended up throwing her baby shower last year. We had a similar situation, where we didn't get along terribly well, but I decided that it was more important for me to be a good sister for the next 25 years than to hold grudges about the last 25 years. So I involved her in the whole planning process and I learned a lot about what a cool person she really is. We did a scrapbook shower, which I turned into a baby shower scrapbook that I later gave to her. It was my way of showing her that no matter what, sisters are sisters and that I want to be there for her in the future. It's nice to remember a family party that wasn't dysfunctional, for a change... I'm sure you'll regret (at some point down the road) letting petty things ruin the time you have with your family. Especially if you need a kidney or something...

Notinthemood, that actually reminds me of when I planned my other sister-in-law's bridal shower. I had only met her once before, she was 4 months pregnant and I lived in another state, and had to fly in for the occasion. While I wasn't to happy with the way she and my brother were doing things, and I had no real connection with her, I came up with a bunch of quick, funny games and made sure the day was all about her. That was more than 3 years ago and people are STILL talking about how that was the best shower they've ever been to.

To the poster - think about it as doing event planning for a client. It doesn't take a lot of money to throw a kick-ass party.

If you're not going to drink I don't know how you would be awful to have around. I would go unless you feel like being around that much alcohol will make you drink. And BTW you HAVE to watch the movie Rachel Getting Married. This sounds so much like that movie, lol.

Get over yourself. This is your sisters day, not yours. It's just a few hours, grin and bear it! As others said, ask her friends and her if you aren't sure of where to go or what to do.

it's her bachelorette party, not yours. get over yourself and who knows, maybe you'll actually have fun!

I don't drink either. I don't look down on people who do. I'm just a mean drunk and don't know when to stop. It really doesn't matter why you don't drink. I'm having my bachelorette party in 3 weeks. Only one person that is coming drinks and I'm ok if they want to drink. My suggestion is that you talk to your sister and tell her how you feel and she what she thinks. She might understand. Or maybe you guys could make some compromises. If my maid of honor just decided not to come I would be pissed. Part of having healthy friendship and relationships with family or anyone is having good communication. If my maid of honor explained why she didn't want to come I would make any changes necessary to accommodate her or let her know it was ok that she didn't come.

If she was able to talk with you and ask you to be her MOH, you should be able to talk with her and ask for party ideas or what her ideal bachelorette party would look like. Then, give up the ghost. You should attend the festivities no matter how you feel about drinking - it's only one night, and it would probably be good to have an uncompromised, responsible person at hand. As sisters, you will be in each others lives for the duration, so it's best not to add fuel to the disconnect now. She will always remember and appreciate that you went out of your comfort zone to celebrate this occasion with her.

As for your hair and makeup, don't stress. This being about the bride and groom, most people won't be looking at you. I suggest going to a good makeup counter at your local department store and getting a free "makeover". You can specify what kind of look you're going for, and ask for tips/pointers as to applying your own makeup on the day. Make sure you say it's for a wedding. One big thing - use a matte foundation or powder to minimize shine in photos, and use a teensy bit more blush than usual so the flash bulbs don't wash you out. With your kind of hair I would suggest a half-up style. Part your hair down the middle and style as usual (use friz control and shine serum!). Take 1 to 2 inch sections of hair from your front hairline right above your ears and pull them straight back, using bobby pins (the same color as your hair) to secure at the back of your crown. You can even tuck the pinned portion of the hair under your unpinned hair to hide the ends. The point of this look is to keep hair out of your face during the ceremony, pictures and the reception, and it looks a little more polished. Otherwise, you can just leave your hair down and make it more curly and glamourous than usual.

I definitely think you should ask your sister and/or the other bridesmaids for suggestions on where to go. I would say to them, "Hey, you know that I don't drink, so I really don't know how to plan a party like this. Would you mind giving me suggestions? I just want everyone to celebrate you (the bride) and don't know the best way to do so." Then, go and try to have fun. I am sorry if being around drinking makes you uncomfortable, but we can all get through stuff we don't like for a few hours. I would probably concentrate on how this is going to improve my relationship with my sister!

Regarding your hair... I sometimes look at this site called hairthursday.com, on the right-hand side there is a link called Tutorials. Look at the one called "Golden Globe Hair" or "Summer Updos" The summer updo section even has a video of how to put your hair up! I wore mine like that to a wedding - it was easy and cute. (Oh, also, you don't necessarily need all the products they use. HAIRSPRAY will be key, and probably something sticky to start with (mousse or some styling lotion).)

Good luck and have fun!

The only conflict should be whether one of you is attempting to change another's convictions. You have the right to what you believe,regardless of the liberal establishment's demand that you "lighten up." For whatever reason you believe what you do, please stick to your beliefs.

With that said, none of this has to be particularly confrontational as there are literally dozens of ways of having a fun party. One of the advantages you have as the person in charge of the design is to be able to limit the amount of alcohol consumed. Obviously certain venues, such as a bar or strip club aren't going to do that. On the other hand, a dinner party will at least assure you that there will be plenty of food to go around. Just put your thinking cap on.

On the other hand, denying alcohol for everyone else completely seems a bit over the top, even if you don't approve. You DID sign on for this, so some suitable way of pleasing your sister seems appropriate. By all means, come up with a few realistic suggestions and approach her with them. I think it a bad idea to go to her with general suggestions because then she gets to suggest things with which you may be uncomfortable. In essence, it is all in how you orchestrate this.

I attended a wedding in January where we rode in a limo and had facials and a makeover with champagne in the limo and at the salon; just remember to tell them that you must have something non-alcoholic. With a little planning, no one even has to know. Please understand that ultimately, if someone really wants to get sloshed, that's what is going to happen. However, I have witnessed more fights and tantrums when people drink too much than in any other situation. When we say that we want it to be memorable, we sometimes forget to plan it so that it is memorable only in a good way. Plan ahead and try to maximize the fun without maximizing the booze.

Get over yourself ? I am teetotal because of health reasons and I just suck it up.