Just tell him "My health is important to me, as I assume your health is to you. I think if we are going to take this next step we should both be tested and make sure we are 100%". I did this same this with my boyfriend before we had sex. I think your guy should be ok because you BOTH will be tested (as opposed to just telling him HE should be tested and implying that you already know you are clean), and he should understand that health is no joke (and if he pushes you off, or declines, then honey keep shopping around).

Plus: Are you guys exclusive? Like have you had that discussion because to be honest a month may seem a little soon (esp. if you haven't discussed being exclusive or he was in an active sexual relationship recently prior to you). Maybe hold off a little longer until you know he is worth not using condoms for.

Hi, this is my post. I won't sleep with him till we're exclusive, and I can sense the topic coming up in the next couple of weeks. My annual exam/STD check just happens to be tomorrow . . .too soon for me to say "let's both go". I can't put mine off because I need to renew my pill prescription.

Just let it come up in conversation: "What did you do last night?" "Oh I had my annual check-up with the doc, I'm officially STD free. What was the last time you got checked?"

It's not too invasive, it's not too personal and for two adults it should be a reasonable conversation. He's probably hoping to lose the condoms at some point as well so he should be open to the convo.

or, when you're startin to get hot and heavy whisper something like "man, i cant wait to lose the condom, it's SO much hotter that way. When is your next STD check-up??" then he has some major incentive to go and get his clean bill of health.

Just bring it up! "When's the last time you were tested?" is completely normal and non-weird.

Still, I still wouldn't go condom-free after such a short amount of time. Some STDs/STIs have no symptoms, so even if you both think you have no diseases, you could. I always say it's better to be overly cautious for at least six months. At least.

I have to say... I don't think bringing it up while you're getting frisky is a good idea. To me that just seems to trivialize it and make me feel weird. Right after/during the exclusivity talk would be good... say, "Hey, now that we're exclusive I think it's worth asking if you've had an STI test?" I definitely wouldn't offer him condom-free goodness in exchange for a positive (negative) answer though. You might come across as a "trapper", and it also gives him incentive to lie, especially if he (heaven forbid) isn't totally clean. I think with my boyfriend now, I said something like, "So... I've kind of always wondered this. Girls get STI tested at the gyno, at least once a year since we go anyway for our yearly, but where do guys go? Do you go to the urologist or like, a family physician? Do you have to make a specific appointment?" This was a few weeks before my yearly and I was really just wondering. It got me my answers, so it might work for you, too? I wouldn't worry too much about putting him on the spot though... any good guy should have the same questions about you.

I've always just brought it up while we're talking about other things... I gues by now (age 30) I am comfortable talking about any aspect of sex with partners - which you should be!

I just say, "so... I think it would be awesome if we could stop using condoms... but I want us to both get tested first so we don't pass anything on to each other. what do you think?" and then maybe have a talk about your histories. if he hasn't been tested, don't sleep with him til he gives you the results - I'm dead serious. Better safe than sorry. If he cares at all about you (or is at all a decent person) he'll be happy to do it. (esp. if it means condomless sex!)

Keep in mind that there are things like HPV that can be passed even with a condom.

Also, be sure that you're exclusive. All the STD testing beforehand won't do you any good if he's hooking up with other women.

in all my relationships, i've brought it up while fooling around...i'll just ask "have you been tested recently?" and then when they answer just kinda follow up with "since the last time you slept with someone else?" and then be honest and say "i have been and since i'm on BC i wouldn't mind us being exclusive and doing this without a dome, if you want to get tested soon that would be good"...and then leave it up to him...obviously he's going to want to get tested if it means better ass for him...and if not, then he's not really a great guy

luisamapacha...since you made the comment that you're going to get yours soon, why don't you just use that in conversation...tell him you're going, ask him to go too on his own, and then go from there...

I always mentioned it while fooling around too, but in the context of "ugh, condoms are so annoying"

I won't sleep with a guy without condoms without seeing his "clean bill of health" script. I make sure that he is definitely STD free. I had a scare about a year ago when the guy I thought didn't have much of a past had actually bedded 14 women. Woah!

I think a month in is a pretty OK time to bring it up. We're all mature adults, right?

I totally agree with Bella's comment.

Also, I agree with notinthemood about bringing it up in the middle of messing around.

I have asked all my partners to get tested and I show them my test results as well. Is it a little sad that it's come to this? Maybe. But I think it's responsible and anyone would understand the request.

I'd just be up front about it: "Hey, if we're going to sleep together, I'd like you to get tested, just as a precaution. I am getting tested tomorrow and would be happy to share the results."

I don't know if this is something that you would feel like doing, but how I would do it is probably pick a time where he is sitting and not too busy.

Then I'll run up with bits of paper flying, proudly hold the papers up to him and say with a cute face, "Look! I'm all clean and safe for you!"

And then while easing myself into his lap, say, "Do you think you can get tested for me too, so I can feel safe too?"
If he says, "I know I'm safe", etc... I would say, "I know, I know, but I really just want to be sure... pweeeze?"

I think offering your own results first would make him feel less defensive. And since it's not a serious talk and it's just kind of just some girly tones and playing cute, it wouldn't make it seem like such a big deal.

That's just how I would do it, though.
Good luck xD

Protect your heart until you find someone who can do it better than you.

No one should ever be comfortable using "pweeeze" in a sentence.

^ hahahahha It's like the puppy face though, no guy can resist!

I would wait until you guys actually are exclusive to bring that talk up. Before that, it seems kind of pointless and too soon. Then after the talk I would bring it up. And I think saying that you just had your test done a month ago, or however long it is, and then showing him your results would make him feel way more open about it and less attacked. And don't word it in a way where either he gets tested or you are gone, or he gets tested or no condom-less sex for him. Guys are very resistant to being told what to do, so I would word it in a questioning way, so that when he decides to get tested, he feels like it's a decision he made all by himself...that makes him feel in control so he will be way more open about getting it done. And honestly he shouldn't really get that offended, he should be ok with watching out for your own and his health. If not, of course, move on.

I use the technique of self-incrimination when the possibility of sexual intercourse first arises; I openly admit that I love sex, but hate condoms. Then, if he does not insist on using one; I assume he is not concerned about STDs and therefore is likely already infected. End-of-evening and end-of-relationship before it ever gets to first base!

i agree with some of the ladies above - just bring it up.. if you're going to start having sex with him - you need to make sure he's clean.. just like you should be tested as well... If you're comfortable enough to be with him intimately - then you need to talk.

Probably bring it up during a sex conversation I suppose. I guess, when talking about doing the deed, then lead into history, partners...make sure testing comes up too, probably partly as a more casual conversation...maybe even with a follow up convo later. Really if health is important, the subject should not at all be offensive. It just depends on how you say it.

I just wanted to add that even if he has been tested for things like HIV and chlamydia, etc, he cannot be tested for HPV, there is no way to test for this. He also cannot be tested for genital herpes unless he pays hundreds of dollars. Many people have herpes and have no signs or symptoms, but can still be carriers of it and pass it on (even with a condom). I say, that it is important that you have the STI testing talk, but please don't abandon the condoms!!! Also, I would suggest that you look into getting Gardasil, which can prevent you from getting HPV if you intend to have unprotected sex. Good luck and if I were you, I would wait until you are more involved and know that you can fully trust this man (for example, to know for certain that he won't cheat on you), before suggesting going without condoms.

Ha! This one's easy.

He's a guy, right? So all you have to say is "Honey, I would love to skip out on using condoms; it's just so much more sensitive, but..."

Even if you followed that ellipsis with "...first I'll need you to rub baby oil on yourself and then jump naked through this flaming hoop of death in front of both our parents", he'll still probably respond "sure, is tomorrow morning good for you?"

But make sure that you suggest that you go together, which is not only smart, but lets him know that you're on the up-and-up as well. And Janine22 is right, Gardasil is a fantastic idea, not only because explaining genital warts is less than sexy, but because of HPV's positive correlation with cervical cancer. Vaccines save lives.