If you guys already made it clear that you won't get back together, then he probably just miss the old times of having you there all the time. My ex still calls me, texts me, facebook me and wanting to see me, that's after I cut him off a couple of times and he has a gf. Guys are not like us, they often stays in the gray area, where they think they still can talk to you normal without tracing back to the times that they hurt you. I think we are more black/white. If you don't want to get back with him, then don't worry about his behavior too much. If you want to get back together, and clearly he doesn't want to, I think you should back off a little bit just to protect yourself. five years is not short and i bet talking to him brought up alots of good times togehter. Be careful

Dont do this to yourself. Stay away from him. Delete him from facebook, stop returning his calls. He sounds like he's going down a bad road and in the end you'll be the only one that gets hurt. Regardless of how amazing a guy's relationship might be they love to have a Plan B girl. A back-up just incase they decide they dont like their current GF anymore. It sounds to me like you're turning into his Plan B.

Just dont risk it, whats the point? He betrayed you and broke your heart. He doesnt deserve to have you as a friend. You'll just end up getting hurt again.

Good luck

One reason your ex-boyfriend may be so enthusiastic about you is because no one is being enthusiastic about HIM right now. The new girl probably isn't giving him the attention he so obviously craves, and other women he's dated have probably figured out that he is a tool.

He treated you like sh*t and he thinks that is okay with you, since you were with him for five years. Don't be a dupe! Get out of this mess now. I had an ex-boyfriend who was the same way. He walked all over me. When I finally left him, five months went by and then he started inundating me with messages, telling me I was the only one who understood him and that he felt a real connection between us. I'm a much stronger person now and I don't need him. What a relief I'm no longer talking to him.

Stop worrying about what is "normal" and worry about what feels right to you.

If I were uncomfortable, I'd just say: "It was great seeing you the other day but I'd prefer we not be friends at this time" and leave it at that.

Stop the drama before it even starts!

If you think there is a chance that you would get back together, then stop it because you are only going to hurt all over again. Somethings just can't go to a normal.

I wouldn't waste your time.

Everyone is right. Do NOT put yourself through this. The chance that he has changed his basic selfish nature is practically nil.

You deserve better.

"heart broken
back down from everything he promised
slowly, painfully, and without explanation
finally gotten over the whole ordeal
finally let go"

These phrases are the most telling- this person did not have your best interests at heart, and with a LOT of time and effort, you FINALLY made it out of the crushing sadness. You are not missing out on any remarkable miraculous friendship you could have with him if he was unable to treat you with respect. The ex- boyfriends you renew friendships with are the ones that 'just didn't work out,' or the ones that you just didn't maintain chemistry with. There's no need to renew friendships with the ones lied to you, misled you, or treated you like sh**.

This guy sounds a lot like one of my exes, who I "diagnosed" w/ Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Basically, the minute it seemed like I didn't give two sh*ts about him or I wasn't bending over backward to make him feel loved and the relationship work, he would come crawling to me. Shower me with attention, tell me what I wanted to hear (for once), etcetc, only to treat me badly as soon as I fell for it. Sabrinaland is right. He's reaching out because no one is reaching out to him. Rebuff his efforts (and don't do it nicely or he won't get the hint) and move on. Curiosity killed the cat.

It's probably not a good idea to let him back into your life. Yet at the same time I can understand that you're curious to know why he backed down from the life you two were planning after so many years together. Be strong and stay away from him.

Tell him "No thanks, I have plenty of friends already." Then get rid of him.

He's obviously looking to get back together with you... if you are absolutely opposed to that, you should not meet him in person one-on-one. You'd only be leading him on.

uhhhg. the nerve. ignore it all. he's felling sorry for himself and thinks he can use you to boost is flagging self-esteem. Don't be the same fool twice.

I would stay AWAY - he could be using you for an ego trip. There is not a friendship to be had here.

As soon as I stopped paying attention to the guy who was letting me down very slowly and painfully and started dating somebody else he was ALL OVER ME for a few weeks. He was constantly sending me emails, texting and calling. Part of me kind of regrets not going back but why go back when he is just going to repeat the same process a few months later?

I'd stay away.

He doesn't want to get back together with you to continue on with the life you "could have had" together... I agree that he's just looking for the attention, maybe wants to feel like less of a bad guy, even. Don't torture yourself.

I can understand your curiosity - I would want to know as well!

but sometimes, it's best to let things go. I had an ex that did this exact same thing, and you will NEVER know what he is truly thinking or feeling.

If it was me, I couldn't possibly trust someone that did this to me again in a relationship, and being friends will ultimately only hurt me at worst, and be pointless at best, so why even bother?

He sounds like an utter jerk, and he's screwing with your emotions AGAIN by constantly barraging you with texts, emails and the like! he sounds compulsive. I would blow him off!

Truthfully, the hardest thing after a relationship is starting over. The question I'd like to ask is if you have possible mutual friends, cause I find it hard to believe that he'd constantly barrage you with messages unless he truly had something to say. Mutual friends often play a huge part in broken relationship, considering they are often the ones giving feedback of a former partner. On the other hand, you are entitled to a sense of closure, so meeting him could be therapeutic for you. I'm not aware of how long you dated him or even what type of person he was while you were dating him. I'm choosing not to be biased, and the only reservation I would have would be to proceed to meeting him with caution. Choose the time, date and place and make sure a male friend will pick you up right after. That'll reiterate that you don't want anything to do with him and it was a simple meet and greet. Tell me how it goes.

It sounds like he's looking to be petted; to have his self-esteem boosted by a girl who he knows finds him attractive and used to think the world of him.

If you're ok with that, then I say, great; you have a new friend who you already know pretty darn well.

If not (and I'm guessing you're feeling a good deal of trepidation since you posted here and asked us all to weigh in on your situation) I would say, don't fall for it. And I would watch for the same behavior in yourself. It's tempting to lean on an ex; it can be really comfortable. But comfort doesn't always necessarily equate with healthy; ask any couch potato.