i'm glad you posted this, Dear

i found it really weird that people said they would keep their facebook status to single (or for non-facebookers just saying you're single in general) if you were in a relationship (and i know bella will come back at me on this cuz she's posted this thought before but it totally boggles my mind)...

if you have a boyfriend, and you're committed and serious....then you're NOT single...!?

if i'm dating my boyfriend for a year and i go to a bar and someone asks "are you single", i say NO! obviously i would say no, because i'm not...and if i ever heard my boyfriend say otherwise then there's a BIG PROBLEM there

so i don't get this whole opinion of being single til you're married...what about when you're engaged and ABOUT to be married? what about dating for 3 years, 4 years, forever? still single?

i'm a big advocate of marriage. it's not that i'm saying i never WANT to be married. but i'm not going to discount my serious relationship that we are building that is LEADING to the marriage....i wouldn't discount it by saying i'm SINGLE!

such a strange concept for me...maybe legally you're single, like on your tax form you're listing yourself as single but if you've got a boyfriend, you're IN A RELATIONSHIP!

Skigurl I completely agree!!!

I think this is one reason divorce rates are so high. People are disregarding marriage as a serious commitment to one another. It's a fun day to party and get all fancy. So what if we're not together in a year, that means I'm single again!

I consider myself single for TAX purposes, and a domestic partner for random websites/surveys/whatever that ask. As far as telling people my status, I am definitely in a relationship. Why say you are single when you are not? I mean marital status wise you are, but if you go tell random people you're single when you have a boyfriend you are really opening up a huge can of worms. I mean if you have been with someone for 2 months, it's not a long time, but you're taken, and you don't want to give the wrong idea. I have been with my BF for two years, and if you ask him, he's taken, ask me, I'm taken.

I will never say I am single unless I am! If I had a facebook, and if the option of "taken" or "in a relationship" were not available, I'd put married. I may be weird, but I don't want to give some random guy the idea that even in his dreams he has a shot with me. It's also a blatant disrespect to your partner to go skipping about claiming you are single.

Even if you are not married, it's still a serious commitment. I think people get divorced not because they don't think it's serious, but because they give up. Same thing with how serious relationships end, people just stop trying. Or maybe the marrieds who never co-habitated with their SO truly did not know what they were getting themselves into. Chances are people who marry, divorce after 1 year and never lived together before discovered that yes, in fact, their sweetheart is not perfect.

Skigurl said it perfectly. I agree with her 100%

I live with my boyfriend so I don't consider myself single.

you have to be really sure that your relationship will go the distance before putting in relationship,cause when you announce it to the whole world and a few months later had to let them know that you guys are over is a little embarrassing...so for me until i'm really certain that we are both commited to each other and it's not only one sided...of course i'll tell people about it.at the moment i'm just dating so i put single or i hide the relationship status

My taxes may say I'm single, but after 5 years of dating and 3 of living with my boyfriend, I do not consider myself to be single. I can see the point kty was making, but I think hiding the status is better than proclaiming to the world that you are single until you have a ring on your finger.

God, the fascination with marriage here is starting to bug me...I have been living with my boyfriend for a year, we've been dting years before that. A baby's on the way. How would getting married make that more serious or us more commited? So clearly, I don't consider myself single, except for legally, because I'm not single...

Maybe we just need to draw the distinction between legal status and personal status. Legally, I'm single. But if a guy at a club asked me if I were single, I'd say no.

Skigurl, I completely agree. "Legally" single and being in a relationship (a serious, committed one) are the same thing... But I'd not tell a guy thats flirting with me that i'm single when i've been in a relationship for over a year!

Popgoestheworld makes a good point... Are we talking about legally or personally? I assume we're discussing personal status since legal status is pretty obvious.

I think this is a matter of what you put on your facebook since that's what the post on geek was about. Facebook has several statuses (single, in a relationship, engaged, married, etc.) If I see single on someone's status I totally assume that they do not have a boyfriend and that they are NOT seeing anyone seriously. Isn't that what single means?? Not seeing anyone??

Skigurl said it all, no need to add anything.

SeaAre - you'd think that was the case, right?
but a couple comments from the TechDating101 post indicates that some people feel differently, and i wish they would explain because it's so weird to me:

- for me i still put single..even though we are engaged..as soon as we get married i'll change it

-I always say, change it if you get married. Otherwise, I leave mine "single." Always.

if you aren't married then you can only be "single". it's like being pregnant, either you are or you're not. same thing when you get married and then want to get a divorce. you aren't "single" until the judge says so.

reminds me of what happens when you ask a 6 year old "how old are you" and they say "6 3/4". only a little kid would say that, and try to make them self sound "bigger" than they are.

If there is an "in a relationship" option, that would cover boyfriends, but I consider unmarried, single, because technically, you are.

^^^^ Yeah, what Lickety said!

Legally, I suppose I'm single, but for the purposes of life and facebook I'm "in a relationship".

And you don't have to put anything about it on facebook - you can just leave that section blank. No conflict necessary.

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs so I'm taken. If you're in a long term and committed relationship you are hardly single.

As soon as my husband and I got engaged, I considered myself "taken".

As far as I'm concerned you are "single" until you get married. If someone asked if you are single, always say yes until you are married. 'Yes, I am single. However, I am seeing someone else.............' Here's a classic. If the husband dies, the woman gets a widow's pension. However, one religion has it that when the husband dies, the woman is considered "divorced". So, should SHE collect a widow's pension in that case? Hmmmm.......

Does signing a piece of paper suddenly make you in a relationship? Only legally....but talking not legally here, no it doesn't.
So, does not signing a paper make you not in a relationship? Only legally, not really.

In other words, a relationship (not legally) has nothing to do with the piece of paper, it's about the literal relationship with another person, a connection. So of course you can be in a relationship without being married.

davetherave: "'Yes, I am single. However, I am seeing someone else"
I'm assuming you are talking legally "single", b/c otherwise that wouldn't make sense. B/c seeing someone is literally the same as not being single (again, not talking legally here right???).

It really makes me angry when, at age 30, people don't consider me to be in an adult relationship just because I'm not married. Treat me like an adult, and respect that my relationship may be stronger and better than some married person's!! geez. we're not teenagers here...

those of you who describe yourselves as "single" when in a relationship? what does your girlfriend/ boyfriend think about that?

Legally for taxation purposes and filling out forms, stating next of kin and beneficiary of my estate etc. (i state Dad), for all intents and purposes thereto, until I am married, I state that I am single (I'm hoping secretly that it will prompt my partner to change my status). Besides, I can't stand the term "defacto". Its not my fault after all these years that he still hasn't asked me to marry him!
However for Facebook and all other social sites and occasions etc. I of course state that I am in a relationship. In the world of dating, why mislead?

I would never even CONSIDER dating someone that doesn't have enough respect for their relationship to call themselves anything but 'single' until they're married. That just says to me that they don't believe in their relationship and they put too much stake in the institution of marriage.

i've been in a relationship for 15 years, i still consider myself single and i will continue to feel that way until a man puts a ring on my finger