I'm unsure. On one hand, you're right, you aren't tecnically cheating. But on the other hand, you're wrong, because you are cheating - even if it is just mentally. Have you tried to spice things up with your husband so you no longer need an ex boyfriend to get you worked up?

i dont know man..sometimes emotional affairs are harder to forgive than physical ones..but you are not really cheating..hmm i dont know!

Can you continue this? Yes. SHOULD you? No. If it takes an old flame to get you to feel good about yourself -- you definitely need to do something that is more productive. Try something you like doing, or something new you want to try. If you need to feel love or reassurance, you get that from your husband -- after all, you married him knowing that this would be the man who would do those things for you out of love.

I believe you are disrespecting your husband and your relationship, and more than anything yourself. It may seem fun and like a good thing to do -- but there are a whole lot of fun things that are actually good things.

stop!
he's your ex, which makes it even worse than if it were a stranger.
you're cheating, and you need to stop!

wait- i didnt read the question at the end of ur post- no i dont think you should continue

Ask yourself this: Would be be totally fine if
a) your husband found out (if you have to hide something then its cheating) and/or
b)you found out your husband was doing the same with his ex-girlfriend (dirty talking and whatnot) even if it was for the same reasons?

emotional cheating is sometimes worse than the physical aspect of it because sometimes with the physical cheating you still have that emotional connection with your partner. i think what you need to do is try to reconnect with your husband and stop talking to the ex.

You need to end this relationship pronto. Believe me, I should know. I myself had an emotional affair with a friend from high school that also lived out of state. Guess what? One day he called my cell phone and my husband picked up the phone. He recognized the voice because he had met him at my H.S. reunion. Anyway, it was pretty bad. My husband forgave me, but it took him about a year and a half to learn how to trust me again. Trust me, it's not a good idea and you will eventually get caught. As hard as it is to end since you enjoy the attention, you will be better off in the long run. It's still cheating.

I had an emotional affair bordering on a physical one last year with my ex who was engaged at the time. Its definitely harder to end an emotional affair than it is a physical one because more than just your body is connected to them. But I ended it and I'm better off for it. In your situation I think its a bit worse because you have a husband and in my situation I wasn't really the one doing the cheating. I say stop talking to your ex and start talking to your husband. And if your husband can't make you feel good about yourself then maybe there is something wrong with your relationship and you should focus on fixing that instead of looking for what you need elsewhere.

Here's the question: If you found out your husband was having cyber sex with another woman (or an old flame) but that him doing this made the sex between the two of you better -- would you want him to continue?

If you wouldn't care, then sure go ahead, keep cheating on your husband. If you would care, then obviously you're talking about a double standard here and if your husband doesn't get you off without the assistance of some fantasy world you've created for yourself, you should leave him so he can go find a normal woman.

Stop right now! if you wouldn't do it in front of your husband...it's cheating. if you wouldn't be happy if you found out your husband was doing it....it's cheating.

if you feel guilty enough to post about it.....it's DEFINITELY cheating!!

stop... this is cheating in my books.

Do I think you should stop? Yes. Do I think you should ever tell your husband? NO.

I can feel where u are coming from, ive been in a similar situation... and no you cannot continue, no way no how.

I may be in the minority here, but I believe that chat room sex is a form of cheating. How upset would you be if you found that your husband was doing the same? End it.

You are definitely emotionally cheating and you need to stop. My ex-husband did this too me and tried to insist he wasn't cheating but he stopped talking to me and would only talk to the other girl. Forming that emotional bond will eventually lead to other things. My ex ended up getting together w/ her, ruining her marriage, and having a baby w/ her. And it all just started with them talking.

i would stop, to me emotional cheating is much worse than physical cheating.

Only a matter of time before this becomes worse than it already is. If you don't mind getting burned, continue playing with fire.

Absolute not forgive. You are MARRIED, and this is wrong. There are all differnt forms of cheating...and this is one of them. Cut off all contact with this guy if you want to stay married.

I consider this cheating. You shouldn't be talking dirty to a man who isn't your husband.

How would you feel if it was the other way around? That's your answer.

Whenever the guilt starts to get to you it will affect your relationship. When that happens you have to be ready to end the affair.

If you don't mind your husband being deeply in love with his ex-gf, sure, go ahead and continue.

And if you think that he won't ever find out, guess again, my hub found his ex's chatroom screen still on their computer (because believe it or not, you actually may forget to close it one day), and found out she's been doing what you and your ex are doing, and he dumped her the next day.

Cut the strings. Seriously.

One question and one question only: Can you and/or would you tell your husband about this? If the answer is no, then you're wrong. Cut it out immediately.

forgive. BUT stop it.

I agree with Gscott and what if it were your hubby in your shoes? I know I'd be mad as hell!

"online dirty talk has done wonders for my self-esteem, and my darling husband is benefiting too." YUCK!
I'm definitely in the "Not forgive" category!

Emotional cheating is still cheating. You may not be having sex, but you're still connecting very deeply with someone else instead of the person you SHOULD be connecting with: your husband. I know that I would be deeply hurt if my husband was emailing an old girlfriend or a female coworker or someone like that and I know he'd feel the same if I did that. If he can't trust you to confide in him, it's only a matter of time before he stops trusting you in other areas and that could lead to a real affair later on.

Cheating: Any thing you would say or do in front of your significant other. Yes you are cheating.

how is this emotional cheating? you've exchanged dirty talk with someone in another state. you don't know their age, sex, anything about them.

really, in the long run i think you are cheapening yourself. why settle for a fake relationship when you're married? you have the real thing right there in bed next to you every night. tell hubby you need to make some changes in the routine you've fallen into and cut the online individual lose.

You say your husband is benefiting in the bedroom, but that's not all that is important in a relationship... TRUST is way more important than sex, and you are cheating your husband out of a deeper emotional bond with you. Why do you feel that you can open up with this ex more than your husband? Perhaps you should try to bring your real relationship to the same level of intimacy you are sharing with the other guy and cut out the middle man.

what the hell! talk dirty with your own freaking husband!!

This is cheating, no matter how to try to spin it.

Why do people come here to seek validation for their cheating?