7 1/2 years?? i think you deserve a vacation, in california, with your family this summer to see how you feel about things. when your daughter is out of school take a visit to grandma's. i think it's his turn to make an effort.

I agree with Sugar. There are definitely parts of your story that sound crappy, and your initial feelings of homesickness are justified, but it has been seven years! Ultimately, the one in control of your quality of life is YOU, not your husband, your family, or your friends. Maybe if you stopped spending time focusing on your unhappiness you would be able to recognize the great things about living in England. The bottom line is that where you live is not going to change anytime soon - you either complain about it or start making it better.

Also, how is it that you've been unable to strike an equal partnership with the man you're married to? Maybe spend the time you're stuck in England to go to couples counseling.

I agree with dearsugars answer completely. If possible, try to vist home, I know that this can be difficult because of the finical situation and the cost of air travel..but see if you can get some kind of deal. If your family is able to come to visit you, great! Also getting involved with the community is a very good idea. Making new friends and meeting new people will give you something to look forward to, and having these new friends to meet up with on girls night can make you feel as though you have someone and that fimilar face you need so badly. I moved from Mississippi to Virginia and I find myself homesick ALOT!! I find that phone calls back home and long chats with my loved ones really helps. It makes me feel that me and that person are close and it keeps me in the know of what's going on with the family and my old town. That is a big help, keeping up with the latest happenings makes you feel a part of what's going on. Also what could be very helpful are packages from home. Gifts and items from family, nothing fancy or expensive, but things like pictures of recent events like birthday parties and events. Your favorite foods..that won't spoil while mailed..like chips or cookies that can only be found in your old hometown. Another pick me up that goes back to keeping up with what's going on is go online and read the news paper from your old hometown..given they have a web site. Hope you feel better, and get to go home soon, if only for a visit! WISHING YOU THE VERY BEST!

Immigration laws suck!

The more you say "I hate this place," the less chance you'll invest in it enough to actually enjoy it. I see this SO MUCH with the people I know in my city--they decide they don't like it, so rather than seeing all the great things about the area and the people and the family-oriented events the city puts on, they sulk through life here. You're never going to be happy if you continue to do that.

There are a lot of people who would love to have the problem you have. Count yourself lucky and start thinking more positively.

Newsflash: YOU create your own happiness! I've moved across the country, and out of the country, several times, and I can tell you that it never gets any easier. My family and closest, oldest friends are a 6-hour plane flight away. My boyfriend is in London, a 7-hour flight away. How do you deal? You just deal. You join groups, you make new friends, you start new hobbies, you do little things to ensure your own happiness. You act like an adult about it and take responsibility for your choice to be with your husband. Personally, I think England would be a fantastic place to raise a child - think of the travel and research opportunities! - but I can understand wanting to be near your family. That's not the reality, though. You've got to find some ways of enjoying your life as it is. Life is a journey. And I do think it's not ok to blame your husband for this. When you marry someone, you sign up for compromise.

If this (insanely long) delay in moving back to the U.S. is due to his "visa issues", you really need to speak with a well regarded attorney and get things moving! It's obviously a complex field, but generally speaking, it should not take so long for him to immigrate when he is married to a U.S. citizen.

I agree w/ Colombiansugar. It shouldn't have taken seven years, and when you married you should have agreed on where to settle. I recommend getting an attorney. If indeed immigration is the only thing keeping you from California, then you should figure that out. But I assume your husband is English? What about his family and friends? Can't you rely on them in the meantime?

I moved back to France to be with my boyfriend, and I really don't like the town we live in. I had a really negative attitude about it for a good year and a half, and my life sucked. I was constantly comparing it negatively to New York - I must have sounded like an unbearable, snotty, condescending b*tch to a lot of people. Then a couple of months ago I decided to make the best of it, started making more friends, joined clubs, explored, and VOILA! I started being happy. I still can't wait to get out of here, and am actively working at making that happen; but at least I'm not miserable and lonely every day, and I get to do the things I love with a bunch of great people -

which sometimes makes me think... when I leave this godforsaken town - I'll miss them terribly!

I think you should try and come up with some kind of agreement with your partner. You've waited long enough.

I would discuss this with your husband. Obviously you are unhappy and I'm sure he has noticed.

I agree with Dear completely. As for the immigration portion, talk to a lawyer to get things moving... or is your husband the one that is slowing down the works? If that is the guess, that is a completely different problem.

I'm sorry homesick Holly I moved to NY from CA for college and was MISERABLE for the first year. I can't even really remember that year except for sitting in my room crying all the time (I'm extremely close with my family). Last year both my family and I bought a video camera for the computer so that we could video chat. this helped SO MUCH. if this is an option, definitely invest in one!