Just become friends, show your support, do NOT sleep with him and eventually, if he's interested, you two may become something more. Or at least you're get to know him better on a more personal level and you can figure out if you really like him or if you just like the idea of him.

Oh, as for timeline, wait til he's at least divorced! Seperations are there for a reason, to make sure this is permanent and gives each party time to think. Wait til the divorce is finalized to even begin considering dating him.

I think you should keep it casual. If he's always been faithful and loyal to his wife and everyone at work knows it, he's probably deeply in love with her. You are bound to get hurt if you expect anything too soon.
When you talk to him, don't do anything that might make your intentions too clear.... maybe just a smile, a wink, a comment like "You look nice today." If he doesn't pick it up, it's too soon.

Protect your heart until you find someone who can do it better than you.

Fallen is a smart cookie. Hang out with him but try (I know it's hard !) to keep it strictly friendship right now. My guess is that is needs a good friend right now . Stay close, and hopefully it will turn into something more.

Wow, the body isn't even cold yet.

Be a friend, nothing more. If you act flirty , you'll just be the ugly vulture circling the carcass of his dead relationship.

What is the rush?

Do NOT go after this guy! Think of how juicy the gossip will be if you two start getting it on before the ink is dry on that document... NOT something you need to be labeled with! Better to let this one simmer until the drama in his life unfolds and blows away.

Concern yourself with other things and don't bring up his situation because quite frankly, it's none of your business... maybe she didn't leave him, but they're having problems? If they get back together and you've already professed your undying love for him, you'll lose a friend and a lot of respect at work and maybe even in your personal life, a bad thing even if you say you don't care about the job. If he needs a shoulder to cry on, kindly refer him to someone else... trust me on this... it's going to look really, really bad if you two are close right now. Be upbeat and happy, tell him you wish him the best with everything, and then keep it strictly platonic. Talk about fun stuff and don't let him complain to you... when he starts change the subject to things he likes/wants to do in life, not things he's upset about. The benefit to this is that you won't be an automatic rebound... he'll have the chance to get over what happened by himself, the way it should happen, and see you as someone who makes him feel good about himself, not just an emotional tampon. If a relationship is in the cards later on down the road, he'll come to you because you made him feel good at a time when he was really down in the dumps, not because you two bonded over his tales of his ex-wife.

lol @ the body isn't cold comment. So true.

I agree w/ notinthemood too about not being a shoulder to cry on. You'll never have a chance if you become that girl.

Great advice, Fallen and notinthemood!!

Haa...emotional tampon. LOL.

Good advice Fallen and notinthemood

*Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, just be sure to give it AFTER your conditions have been met.*

Just because his wife left doesn't mean they're through. If you're friendly enough with him you should be able to feel things out..can you see that he's into you too? Don't flirt or put moves on him till you know where he stands. Don't be the homewrecking other woman just because you have a crush. You like him but his wife I'm sure still LOVES him. So Id say feel it out..but stay friends maybe even eventually tell him how you feel if this break up of there's lasts. Id say, don't pursue until you know he's available..but until you know..stick to the available..not the unavailable.

Just be friends, time will tell if it develops into something more. Trust your instincts as well as your brain, if you think it's going the rebound way, don't bother. Doesn't mean that rebound can't develop into more. But just because she left him, unless they're divorced, don't bother getting caught up in a mess. Try to see past him too? One lesson learned is when you can't see past someone, you know, get all hung up on someone like that...you lose yourself. Be happy free and don't put your life hoping he'll get over stuff. He may never. And as Fallen said...don't sleep with him? Wait awhile, be friends, develop the relationship more, then do whatever...make sure you can trust him with your ATM card before you trust him with your heart.

He knows you're interested. Back off. And no matter what, do NOT become his therapist. Resist the urge to offer to "be there" for him or be his "shoulder to cry on."

If he doesn't ever get back together with his wife (which he probably will), he'll need a good solid year from the time of the official divorce before he'll be dating material. Find a hobby meanwhile.

Ok, so I just wrote a long post, and it got deleted and didn't go through...soooo. I pretty much agree with what notinthemood said. And I just wanted to add that, if you really are "in shock that someone could leave him", b/c you think he's that great, then you prob. don't actually know him that well...or else you have already learned his faults and are ok with them maybe?? B/c everyone has faults, no one is that great/perfect..soo, it does sound like you just have a crush and not much more. So you should wait and let him have a lot of time to get through what he is going through and to get to know him better, as a friend only though. Just give it all more time, don't jump into this. It sounds like you're just really anxious b/c it just happened and you're jumping in head first now. So just chill and wait it out. Good luck!

Be just a friend to him now. Never take advantage of the fact that his wife left him. Who knows what will happen next? They're still married. DOn't ever think that this is chance for you to get into a relationship with him. If he loves his wife too much, then he could not fall out of it easily.

They're all right here. Don't be the "rebound" girl. Don't go beyond the limits. Because if you do, chances are, you might find yourself in the losing end.

If he's for you, he's for you. But don't close your doors. Time will tell. Just be patient enough.

Um, he hasnt even filed for divorce yet. Don't even bother. He's not even out of one relationship, he's not ready to enter any kind of other one.

So, my husband we still a few weeks away from a finalized divorce when he asked me to lunch (which FLOORED me, since I thought he was married.) I thought, "Even though this is my ab-so-LUTE dream man, this can just never work out, because of this crappy timing." Well, I think since I was VERY flexible and held on LOOSELY, and did NOT make myself a shoulder to cry on AT ALL, it has WORKED OUT! We have been married for almost 10 years and have 2 awesome little girls. And he is still my DREAM man. I still can't believe it worked out, but like I said, I had to be very patient and very careful not to push. TREAD LIGHTLY! It CAN happen!

*was* still a few weeks away...

Note, that it was he who's idea it was to begin dating again, though. Not my doing, so that may be another big factor!

I think you shouldn't make a move until he is actually divorced. Why tarnish your own reputation by possibly becoming "the other woman"? This would be cheating and there is no excuse that will make it acceptable: it is wrong. If he likes you, waiting until he is divorced won't be a problem and your relationship will be able to start out with clean consciences for all with his ex-wife firmly in the past. Good Luck!

Beauty is not a competition. It is in all of us and all around us.

I'd watch that pedestal he seems to be hanging out on. It's highly doubtful that he has no part in his wife leaving, so watch your desire to make him so in your mind. I agree with the others that suggested you get to know him as a friend first and give it time.

"Wow, the body isn't even cold yet" jazzytummy, that's EXACTLY what I was thinking! If you're that into him, wait until you're safe from being a rebound or a "seperation fling".

I can understand how excited you are, but hang back, wait for his divorce to be final and then take the necessary steps to reel him in!

You got some good advice here.

you have already answer your own advice is I'M NOT WANNA BE THE REBOUND GIRL

then, don't be.

Wait, patience, what you are feeling is just the heat of the moment. Maybe it will help if you start seeing the flaws here.

He's just separated, wait, wait, be patient. It is for your own good. See the rest of the menu.

he needs to be divorced before you let on that you like him because he may take your interest as a reason to not work things out and then that makes you the rebound girl. Let him get over his wife, if you two are going to get together then nothing will stop that from happening

jazzytummy, she already IS the ugly vulture circling the carcass of his dead relationship. she's made it clear that she's planning to make a move, but just needs to finalize her strategy. this kind of behavior is revolting and i just can't believe so many people are actually encouraging it.

look, if this guy is so great, he'll have the decency to refrain from pursuing another woman until the divorce is finalized and he's had time to heal. and if he was as faithful and loyal as you say he was, chances are he's still got feelings for his wife and those might take a long time to fade. maybe some day in the future you two will end up together, but for now have some respect for yourself and this guy's marriage and leave him alone.

You know that you could take the path of protection that alot of people advocate here: You protect your reputation by not becoming the other woman, you protect the other mans wife from competition for his love, you protect your heart from rejection if he's not ready. But what about your interests? Or you can take the path of learning. When you take the path of protection in your life nothing happens your life remains the same you have not learned anything. Often the path of protection is done out of fear. So most advice you are getting is from fearful people. People who read your post and fear that this might happen to their relationship, that we must control her back into acceptable social mores and make sure she cannot grow. You can also choose to step out into the void and risk everything. usually you can be sure that you wouldnt normally do this unless something very important is at stake. You have found someone who you might be in love with which is very rare. You say you have this job which matters very little. How do you know that when his marriage ends he wont leave town and start over. Then you know you have waited too long. If you tell him and he balks at you you can simply leave the job. SO your decision is to stay safe and protected (you r life alone isnt too bad or you would have tried to find an available man already right?) or you can choose to learn, whether this is the right thing or not, whether your reputation will suffer..etc. Lets face it divorces usually get finalized when a man has a new woman in the picture, rebound or not. You can never be sure if what these good ladies are telling you is true or not for yourself. A life lived in fear though is a life wasted alone.