Insecurities — we all have them no matter how hard we try to fight them off. They can come in many different forms: a character trait, a nervous habit, or a way of life. But almost all of them have the ability to affect our daily life and routine, our relationships, our job, and our friendships. Of course some insecurities are more severe than others, but no matter what, they can be hard to handle. So ladies, if you could rid yourself of one specific insecurity or character trait that interferes with your quality of life, what would it be?
Marionnaud
DSquared
Armani Jeans
Body image. Ugh.
1I worry that everyone thinks I'm an idiot. It's hard because I know I'm not, but I feel like everyone treats me like I am, so I'm always worried about what I'm putting out there and I know I've shied away from things because I don't think I'll make a good impression.
2I can't choose all of them?
Well, I have one tooth that's really crooked, and I'm extremely self-conscious about talking because I don't want people to see. So probably that one.
3body image.
4Body image here too. It's the root of all my other insecurities, like my boyfriend possibly thinking I could be hotter, finding other girls etc.
5I was a little overweight as a kid and early in my teens, and though I've lost a lot of weight, I always have a lurking nag somewhere in my head. But I thnk I could be 98 lbs and still have that. I wish I could get rid of it!
6JEALOUSY! It comes from feeling inadequate, I guess. I am just so insecure and jealous. I am with a guy who would NEVER hurt me and yet the feelings are still there.
I guess it's thanks to all the c*cks I dated in the past. =) Thanks guys for cheating on me and hurting me so deep that it continues to follow me into future relationships.
Man, psychology is hard.
7body image, a general feeling of inadequacy, jealousy, ugh too long to list. Buh.
8jealousy, for sure. i'm working on it thought.
9though*
10Body image and never feeling good enough in general
11I wish I could feel beautiful without having a boyfriend to constantly tell me so. I need to be able to feel it on my own.
I also feel like I'm always annoying people (even though I'm probably not), so I'd like that to go.
12Whenever I'm around people whom I never feel like I can be as good as (especially if it's body image or physical fitness related),whose opinion I care a lot about, and whom I don't know very well, I completely lock up. I can't move, I can't say a word, I just stare at the floor. It makes the worst impression ever. I REALLY wish I could get rid of that!
13Jealousy... I used to be so insecure about my body, but I've worked my way out of that insecurity.
14My teeth! They're big and kind of crooked.
15My fiance has never, ever given me a reason to be jealous of him when he talks to/hangs out with other girls, but I always am. It's not even a two way street, either - he doesn't mind if I hang out with guy friends, but I'm always wondering if he thinks the girls he is hanging out with are more beautiful, smart, funny, etc. than I am. Lame, I know! So jealousy, yeah.
16juicebox - thought i was the only one in this day and age with crooked teeth... i feel your pain!!!!!!!!!!!!
17body body body body body body body body body body
it is my most debilitating insecurity.
18Self-conscious of my body ever since puberty. At 22 I am not so hard no myself, but I still am too hard on myself, wish I could be thinner, or guys don't like me because I'm not stick thin. Also, I feel I'm not smart enough, I'm known as the fun one and I worry people just see that and think I'm not intellectual.
19I'll go with jealousy too
and fear of failure is a huge one
20I blush really quickly, sometimes for the dumbest reasons. it's gotten better but it's really annoying because you can't control it.
21I don't have a good self esteem. I never think I am pretty or smart enough and when I get someone attention I am completely taken by suprise and think its a joke or something.
22well i just went to the beach yesterday sooo.. definitely body image
23The loudness of my voice...I've been made fun of for it my whole life and if someone tells me I need to talk quieter I take it very personally and usually just want to cry.
24Being self-conscious. I'm a natural introvert, and I have a neurotic bent. This means I can get overly self-conscious about myself. I overly focus on how I'm standing, my voice, my posture, my thoughts, my hands, my words, etc. The list goes on. It borders on self-obsession. It makes me nervous and anxious. I drive myself crazy.
I am working on this, and I am getting better about it.
25Body image, and being more ambitious in the whole job-applying process, like with follow-ups even when I submit an application and don't hear back from them after they receive it.
26Skin problems!!!!!!!! acne and scars....ughhhhh
27Bodily insecurities, especially since weighing myself the other night and realising I've put on half a stone:(
Also academic insecurities. I'm a finalist at a top university in the UK, have got good marks throughout my degree,yet I still feel too stupid to be here.
28ONE insecurity?
Lack of confidence. I am not a confident person, I got cut down a lot when I was young and it just carries over into now. Trying to be confident just makes me feel stupid and dumb, and then I get paranoid that everyone is judging me and that it's no use.
I hate talking to people in general because I don't trust anyone, it's been harder for me to speak up for what I want [though everyone tells me that I use the word "no" too much...which I don't think you can EVER do enough!], and of course, has DEFINITELY not helped me in the relationship scene with either friends or SOs - if I HAD any friends or SOs, anyway...
29Fear of failure/perfectionism/the need to control.
30Jealousy and fear of not being good enough definitely!! SparkleStar, you took the words right out of my mouth!! However, I hate the feeling of inadequacy so I have started inner bonding (www.innerbonding.com) and the process of quieting my mind when negative thoughts about myself surface. It's extremely hard and takes work every single day!!
31I lack self-confidence and I think if I had more confidence in myself most of my insecurities and poor character traits would disappear.
32Thinking I'm not good enough, but got rid of that one, so none I guess? But that one I suppose if it comes back to haunt me.
33definitely lack of confidence. when i dont believe in myself its easier to be taken advantage of. i want to speak up more. I think it would make my anxiety, insecurity and jealous disappear.
34I don't know what it'd be called specifically...but I wish I could be more friendly and open to people. Maybe self-consciousness? I'm just very shy when I first meet people. I'm really talkative once I know someone but it's such a long (and kind of difficult) process for me to get to that point. I think it's why I don't have many friends...people see me as standoffish alot and I really wish they didn't! I've tried working on it, but I always feel dumb when I start talking to new people like they don't care about what I'm saying. UGH it's so frustrating!!!!
35i would have to say i worry way to much and the little things bother me.
36Hmm.. I don't really have any body image issues, I'm very happy with the way I look
But, I tend to be obsessive and worry about various things. I'm trying to work on that though, and I think I'm slowly getting over it!
37My top two things: 1) I resent people, meaning, once someone does something that loses my good favor, it is extremely hard for me to forgive them and look past it. So I am working on that. 2) Internalizing my stress and anger, because I will hang onto it and not open up to anyone until I start subconsciously pulling my hair out, breaking out in hives, throwing up, ect. But I have breathing exercises that I have been doing to help me, so I have been working on that too!
38I always get very self-conscious when I'm talking to people. I worry about whether or not I'm monopolizing the conversation or talking about the "right" topics. I hate going to parties where I don't know anyone because it's so hard for me to strike up conversations about things. I'm always afraid that people will think I'm snobby or rude or something. So a lot of the time, I just stand around at parties and don't talk at all. I think a lot of that stems from my mom constantly criticizing me as a kid, telling me that I was talking about the wrong things at family gatherings or other events.
39It's a long story: I met a guy which I knew when I was younger. I started dating him. He had dated a girl before me for like only 3 weeks. One night after we already got physically serious, I went with him to a pub to eat bc he went his friends. Then his crazy 3 week ex shows up and I go outside with him and we are sort of kissing and etc in the back of the pub and she is actually staring at us the whole time. I have since then, been VERY scared of her bc no normal girl would stare at her ex kissing another girl. It was really weird and I knew something was wrong with her since then. Well, My insecurity was the fact that she would never leave our relationship alone and yep that's what happened. I have broken up with the guy after 1 year and a half of dating mostly bc of the trust issues she caused. She still contacts him. I have to admit, I am very hurt that he still contacts her knowing that we had a very emotional relationship. She did our relationship very wrong. She is still single bc imagine if this is how she was in the beginning I dont think any guy will give her the time of day bc she is wayyyy to clingy. To this day she will say she likes anything my ex does. She will agree with anything just to continue talking to him bc no other guy has given her the time of day. I have to admit it, Everyday it hurts me to know that he still contacts her. I never thought I could be soo hurt but I havnt told him how I feel bc I know that if he truly loved me he would not want to hurt me. If he would love me allot and know that I am hurt by it he would not contact her. But I believe in karma and the pain that she caused me in my relationship with a guy I deeply cared for she will feel the same hurt everyday like I continue to feel. I was never insecure about trusting a guy but whatever guy gives that girl the time of day and decides to date another girl after will go through the same trust issues with their next girlfriend. Obviously, if he met me while he was with her it was for a reason, God was trying to help him get out of a situation that he was not supposed to be in or would of been triple times worse to get out of. To do this day I just wonder why he is still contacting her bc she is going to continue to get obsessed with him. He is still a very good guy, but I wonder if he knew how hurt am by what she continues to do.
40I have this strange fear of failing. No matter what I am trying to do, I feel like I'll fail. So, sometimes I don't even try. I think to myself "well, whats the point, if you fail then you will feel terrible, so don't even bother putting in any effort." I have gotten way better though, but that's the reason why I'm still at a dead end job that I hate and why I am 20 and have only completed one college class (which I aced... so I'm not sure why I am so afraid to take another class!) I dunno, it's strange and sometimes crippling.
41I feel like I annoy people. I'm not sure there is any evidence to support this. But does that matter when it comes to insecurity? I don't think so.
42fear of failure. sigh.
43Body image.... specifically when it comes to my breasts. I'm a really small girl, I wear a size 2 (sometimes 0) jeans, I'm 5'3", I would be an XS top, but I have MASSIVE boobs. I have a 32" back which makes it even worse. According to the bra I'm wearing now it says 32 G, but I'm pretty sure thats just equivalent to triple D (hopefully). They don't look as big as they really are, but whenever it comes to bra shopping or clothes shopping I always wind up crying because nothing fits right. I'm 23 years old with these huge saggy boobs!!!!
44Forgot to add, when I'm the MOST self conscious is during sex, I hate being on top and whenever I am I hold onto my breasts so they arent bouncing all over the place..... If I'm walking around topless I'm always making sure I'm holding myself up. I wish I could get over it but I dont think I ever will unless I get plastic surgery
45Insecurity about my body & appearance. I don't have the nicest set of teeth, but I'm planning to spend a few thousand and get that fixed someday. Also, despite the fact that I work out 3-4 times a week and eat healthy food, I always feel fat. Always. And I hate feeling guilty for enjoying a cookie or a slice of pizza.
I think it's interesting that everybody is saying the same thing; I thought I was the only person who thought I annoyed people. I'm sure we're all a bunch of fabulous people so we should really recognize that and be happy!
46My ongoing fear from youth is that a fear that I'm a 'nothing special' inside. Fear that I'm devoid of personality/ that I'm empty inside. Growing up I was a part of a 'clique' at high school, where there's my bffs consist of: the most beautiful girl in school and a valedictorian, then there's another who's the star athlete and ballerina, then there's the one who's the president of student council and so on, everyone BUT me has something 'special' about them.
Many people often wonder why I was part of that clique because I was just a good student (but not a valedictorian type), I wasn't considered pretty at all and I wasn't as outgoing as some of the girls, wasn't a star athlete, etc. LOL. I guess my 'secret' insecurity stemmed from that time in high school.
Sure sometimes I have the body insecurity type from time to time (not in any way excessive) and I'm pretty easy going about beauty.
Fortunately now, I can completely be comfortable around my hubby without feeling that I have to 'prove' myself to be interesting or 'belong' to some 'exclusive' group. I have small knit of friends with whom I'm more comfortable just...being me, I guess.
47I try to make other people happy and the expense of my own happiness.
48I always feel inadequate. I never ever feel good enough, when I was little I was always told I'd never amount to anything...so it stuck a bit. Even though I pursue my dreams and try to ignore the little voice telling me I can't...it's always there to sabatage my victories. I'll never be good enough for me.
49sabotage*
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