On yesterday's Oprah, Suze Orman offered up some harsh advice to those struggling financially. One couple was in such dire straights that they actually had to ask if they could afford their divorce. Suze "approved them," told them they could in fact afford it, but it got me thinking about what their lives would be like if they didn't have enough money to separate. They'd have to coexist under the same roof and sleep in the same bed, but then I realized, couples do that all the time.
I've never split up with a live-in boyfriend before so I don't know what that transition period is like, but tell me, have you ever had to stick around in the home you shared with your significant other post breakup? If so, how did it work out?
Burberry
Vince
Ted Baker
Well I know it made for a funny movie but gosh I can't imagine what that would be like..
I'd
rather move back in with the parents.
1Nope. I can imagine it would be hard though and I admire anyone who has the strength to get through it.
2Yes, and not well. I'll spare you the details.
3That sounds so awkward! I couldn't imagine...
4no. but i just heard today that a friend of mine is moving in with his ex-wife for financial reasons. these people did NOT have a good divorce and i think times must be REALLY tough for this to sound like a good idea to either of them
5Yes, and I do not recommend it! I lasted 2 months living with my ex. Our lease was another 6 months, so we thought we'd tough it out until then. At least we lived in a 2 bedroom suite, so we both had our own spaces. But he treated me like I was his live in maid and cook. So I paid the penalty for breaking the lease and moved back in with my parents temporarily. And then there was drama with custody of out cat.... not a fun experience, but lesson learned!
6Yup! I just got out of a tiny one-bedroom in the city where I had lived with my fiance since we broke up last August. It was the most horrible experience of my life and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. When all was said and done, we ended up moving before the lease was up and it cost us thousands. Though I will say - I still support living together before marriage because the situation would have been 10x worse if I had actually married the guy. A messy breakup is ALWAYS better than a messy divorce!
7I broke up with my ex while we were living together and I thought we could both be adults and finish out the month we had already paid for plus pay for the next month so we could give proper notice and get our security deposit back. We broke up the last week of the month. But no. We got into an argument he got violent (again! he was such a jerk) and I ended up fleeing the apartment at about 5am after I thought he was sleeping. He heard me leaving and tried to stop me but I made it out. He then abandoned the apartment and I had to move everything out before the end of the month and I took pleasure in throwing all of his things away or giving them to charity.
8My boyfriend and I "broke up" over the summer. It was really out of anger, and lasted nearly 1 month. It was really hard to do. It was so complicated because we didn't say I love you, but kept talking about our next place and all of that absolutely crazy horrible stuff. Okay, so it wasn't a serious breakup, and we obviously got back together, but for that month, it sucked. I don't think I could do it if both of us seriously did not want to be together.
9No. Hubbie and I moved in together when we got married. This was right and good for us.
Personally, I could only co-habitate with a husband, not a boyfriend, fiance, etc. He felt the same way. Again, this was what's right and good for us. I'm not speaking about anybody (or against anybody) else. To each their own.
10After I kicked out my ex he didnt have anywhere to go for awhile, he would stay with friends when they would let him (one of the points I made when I broke up with him, "you want to be with your friends all the time anyway, you never come home, you shouldnt have a problem having somewhere else to go" - but there were a couple of times that he came back and slept on the couch. It was awful- I wanted nothing more than to change the locks and forget all about him, but his name was on the lease too. Thankfully it didnt last too long.
11no, but i could not imange having to do so! i don't think in our (my boyfriend and i) situation it would work..i know if we split i could not bare watching him move on and start dating or even talking to other women! if we were to slpit, there is no way i'm staying.
12Funny this comes up today. My sister just told me last night one of her good friends and her boyfriend broke up, and they're stuck living together for a little while. My sis and I were talking about how absolutely terrible that would be. I agree it greenapples...can't even imagine doing it!
13yes, and it was awful! lots of fighting and yelling
14Yes, I found out he was cheating on me, and didn't have the time yet that month to move my stuff out. I was able to stay at my sister's and my parents, until, my parents moved my stuff (yes they had to cause I was an emotional psycho) While I wasn't there he was bring her to, how I see it our place still, I would go there to pick up things here and there and find her sh*t all over, needless to say I was somewhat immature and destroyed much of her and his things and ran the gas and electric bill up by leaving the hot water on and cranking the air after it was switched out of my name.
15Yep. Lived w/ the ex-husband for about a week after he asked for the divorce. It was miserable. Then he moved out and it was just as bad - he took the king sized bed (I couldn't bear to sleep in it anyway) so it was me in a huge room in a tiny twin sized bed. Quite depressing.
16yes and it was the most awful thing i expierenced
17Yes and it was absolutely horrible; we had to wait out the lease. We used to scurry around the house to avoid each other and try to stay longer at work and school to stay out of the house. I even started driving to a friend's house three hours away every couple of days when I didn't have classes to get out of that house.
18Actaully yes I did but things ended up working out in the end. It gave us time to make things work rather then just calling it quits and throwing in the towel. I think people are too quick to do that these days in a marriage before really trying to make it work. Its been about 4 years since we were going to split and things are better then ever!
19Oh, and I forgot to mention he kept trying to bring over the girl that he was seeing and was the reason for the split.
20No. Like GlowingMoon, I didn't move in with my husband until we got married and I never lived with anyone before that. I personally wouldn't move in with anyone that wasn't my spouse. Call me old-fashioned, but that's how I was raised. I couldn't imagine living with someone I broke up with though...that'd be beyond depressing.
21Yes! We broke up in August of 2005, and I let him continue living in my townhouse until November. I don't know why...guess I felt bad that he really had no place to go, and things didn't end too too badly between us. It was weird and awkward at times, but not horrible.
22Oh, but let me clarify that we did NOT sleep in the bed, let alone the same room, unlike the photo up the top! LOL. I moved into the guestroom while he was still there.
23I had to live with a boyfriend I'd broken up with for about 3 weeks while I found an apartment. It was horrible.
24I once lived with a boyfriend for 3 months total, and we broke up after the first 6 weeks. It was pretty bad. I remember being at my best friend's house and saying, "I don't want to go home, because he's there doing really annoying things... like breathing in and out."
25i put an end to that earlier this week. living together just kept me in denial. we still slept in the same bed, took showers together and hung out like we did before... except he would be on the phone at all hours of the night with some girl at work who had a crush on him and i'd lie awake in bed sobbing. i finally couldn't take it anymore. i'm now of the opinion that ending a relationship requires a clean break.
26It was horrible... we broke up just before our lease was up. I stayed at a friend's house (who worked with me and now we're dating), but I felt locked out of my own place - I'd call to see if he was around so I could pack up some stuff to take... luckily I found a place right away so I pretty much moved everything except furniture until he left. Although the bastard left all the trash behind and made me do all the cleaning/vaccuming. UGH.
I'm glad I lived with him though - he was a good boyfriend to start off with, but horrible live-in boyfriend (even though he was in the Coast Guard and was gone most of the time!). Now that I live with the new boyfriend, it's much better and we get along so very great!
27I haven't, thankfully. I've always either thrown them out (because it was my place) or moved out myself!
28Yes. I lived with my boyfriend for 4 months before I moved out after our breakup. We had a year contract for an apartment. He said he would pay all of the penalties, but there was a reason we got a two bedroom when we moved in. It was tough. Especially when his sorry ass started dating. But when he found out how pathetic and insecure he was I had moved on and moved out two weeks early. I was the bigger person and it was a good lesson.
29This happened to me, I had to live with my ex for 4 months after we broke up. The worst part was that when we moved in together I moved away from my friends and family. Although I had lived with him for over a year I still hadn't made any friends that I would consider living with or just crashing with to get away. In the end I moved back home with my parents and commuted an hour and half one way to and from work every day just to escape it. I've seen "the breakup" but I will never watch it again, because there is nothing funny about it when you've lived it
30This happened to me, I had to live with my ex for 4 months after we broke up. The worst part was that when we moved in together I moved away from my friends and family. Although I had lived with him for over a year I still hadn't made any friends that I would consider living with or just crashing with to get away. In the end I moved back home with my parents and commuted an hour and half one way to and from work every day just to escape it. I've seen "the breakup" but I will never watch it again, because there is nothing funny about it when you've lived it
31This just happened to me. Sadly I saw the breakup coming and suggested we move out to save our relationship (or any drama) but he insisted we give it a chance. Two days after we would've moved out he dumped me and insisted he wasn't sleeping on the couch...needless to say it was not a good experience at all from then on
32I'm still currently living with my ex and it was fine for 3 months post breakup. We got along and did our separate things. It wasn't until she decided to see other people that it got weird and unbearable. She seems to think it is ok, but I feel otherwise. I constantly tell her that if we didn't live together, it would not be a problem. So someone needs to move out. The issue with that is that if I move out, she can't afford the place. I can afford the place but she does not bother looking for another...it's ridiculous.
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