I can't believe people think being a godparent means showering the child with presents and money...!
Your definition is more how I feel it should be, too. Unconditional love and support is what it's about!

I think you should back out of being friends with those people.
Being a godmother isn't about money and presents (technically its about guiding that child in the right path spiritually) and about loving them. You have the right idea, your "friends" don't. Besides, I doubt your cousin feels you being a godmother means her kid get 24/7 presents, I'm sure she knows what your situation is and knows that you are the person who will shower her child with love and understanding.

Wtf is wrong with them? Don't listen to these so-called friends of yours they don't know what the hell they're talking about. I love my godmother to death and although she did buy me a fair amount of presents it's not the toys I remember about her. She was a special lady. She was like an aunt and a mother in one package. I know you're capable of that; embrace it.

1. your friends are jealous
2. your friends are jerks
3. being a godparent is NOT about presents. i love my godparents (also my aunt and uncle) and as a child, i knew that if something ever happened to my parents, they would be there to take care of me. but i don't recall recieving presents from them more than i did any other aunt and uncle except MAYBE for a rare religiious event like my baptism
4. your cousin obviously knows your situation and i'm sure "presents" isn't what she thought of when she thought of you for this special role...she obviously knows your'e smart and driven and responsible (re: the med school thing!) and she chose you for this role...i highly doubt her decision hinged on money
5. in the future you can spoil the child with gifts if you have the money and want to, but it's more important to spoil a child with love and attention and time, which your'e more than able to do, it seems
6. stop hanging out with these horrible people who base your character on money!
7. if you really worry that your cousin might not realize your financial situation and really worry that she'll care if she does find out you're not rolling in coin, let her know and maybe drop hints at what others are saying to guage her reaction, but make sure she knows that you are very honored and want to take this responsibility

Being a godparent is showing love and being there for them, like you said. Be a godmother if you want! It's not about presents.

I'm really shocked that your friends put a price tag on being a godparent. Yikes. In my family, being a godparent is absolutely all about showering the kids with love and affection, and not at all about money or presents. I say ignore your friends and enjoy your new role!!!

I agree with everyone else. Screw what your friends think! All that matters is that your cousin trusts you with her child to be and that is all that matters. So congrats!

Your definition of a godparent is definitely the right one! What is wrong with those people?? I am a godmother and while I do not have a ton of money I try to take my goddaughter out and have her stay over and have tons of quality time with her which is the important part.

Your cousin obviously chose you because you have your head squarely on your shoulders, where it belongs. Godparents, as I always understood it, were people who the parents could trust to raise their child as they themselves had planned to, in the event something tragic happened. Not shower the child with J. Crew polos and Tiffany silver spoons. Those who say you're not fit because you're not wealthy enough are most likely jealous, and snarky attitudes like those had better dissipate before the arrival of the little one!

what is it with people having such crappy friends lately on dearsugar? First one girl's friend straight up calls her a slut for being a single woman and now this?

Get new friends! They suuuck if they can't see that you're happy about being a god parent. Good friends should support you to do whatever makes you happy.

Sigh. Ignore them.

Are you kidding me? your friends suck. I was a student when my cousin asked me to be their gorgeous son's godmother -- really the only "official" duty I had was holding him at his christening. I get him things when I can, and will love him with that special title for the rest of his life. enjoy the honor!!!!!

You don't just make someone a god parent because you feel like it. They thought about it and picked you. Your friends are idiots.

You don't just make someone a god parent because you feel like it. They thought about it and picked you. Your friends are idiots.

Um, are your friends confused about what a godparent is? Do they think it means that you are in the will and if anything tragic happens, you will be financially responsible for the child and they think you aren't financially capable of that? Because that would be a valid concern until you're out of medical school.

However, godparents and legal guardians are two different things (although, sometimes they are the same people). My husband and I are in the will to become legal guardians of our relatives' children if they die, but we are not their godparents. They chose other people to be their godparents.

This is bizzarre! I agree with everyone!

i always thought of a godparent being the one who made sure you got your communion and conformation and looked after you in more of a religious sense...

RunninginBoston. i thought the same thing as you. my godmother is also my legal guardian if something ever happened to my parents. and i think that might be what her friends meant when bringing up the money issue.

OP... i agree with your definition of a godmother, and i am sure your cousin picked you because she knows you can handle it.

I'm still pissed my sis-in-law didn't ask anyone on my brother's side of the family to be my niece's god mother. The woman she chose isn't even in her life. I would give my life that kid.

Welcome the challenge!!

What you stated about being a godparent is true - love, guidance and presence in the child's life is most important. However, it also means (at least in the past) that you will assume responsibility for the child should the parent(s) die. Now, of course, the parent(s) must actually state this in their will for it to be legally recognized (which can differentiate between a godparent and a legal guardian, as RunninginBoston stated). Maybe your friends were confused by that distinction? Otherwise, you should gently remind them that you aren't part of some mafia movie where the godparent buys the kid a luxury car on their 16th birthday, and accept your cousin's request with honor.

Aren't godparents the ones who help rear the spiritual/religious wellbeing of the child? And become the guardians of the child, should something happen to the parents?

Who cares what these people say! Of course being a godparent isn't about having tons of money! Your cousin obviously thinks highly of you and trusts you enough to be intimately involved with the child. She knows what she's doing. And as the mother of the child you will be mentoring/given charge of, I think the child's parents' opinions are the only ones that matter.

Do not back out! Being a godmother is great. I become one when I was a freshman in high school and now I am in college. I am not able to shower my goddaughter with gifts but we hold a special place in eachother's hearts. I make special time to take her places and do things with her. It is very special without material things.

Make your relationship with your godchild more special than presents and definitely don't back out!

Money does not a godmother make. Yes, it'd be nice to be able to spoil your godchild with gifts, but you've got it right. You should spoil him/her with love. Your cousin asked you because she knew you'd love her child just as much as he/she will. Don't listen to your 'friends'.

I think you should ask your cousin what she wants out of you as her baby's godmother. I personally agree with your definition, and I bet your cousin will too. But if she thinks 'godparent' means 'gifts', then your inability to spoil the child might cause a problem. If the two of you agree on the job description, then it doesn't really matter what your friends think.

dearsugars advice is right on!

They picked you for a reason.

Wow, they're so tacky! Get out of those friendships and enjoy being a godmother! Being a godparent used to mean that you would be a spiritual guide in case the parents died. It was an intimate family position since it meant that you knew the parents so well that they trusted you with their childs soul. Now its more about being an honorary auntie or uncle...again, a close family position. NOT a rich gift giver! Your cousin doesn't want your money, she wants your love for her child.
My brother-in-law and sister actually "fired" their sons' godfather when he never once in the year that my nephew was fighting cancer asked about him. They asked a close (19 year old)family friend who cried over him and racked up miles of hospital trips to take his place. It's all about the love!

Very very well said skigurl.

WTF @ those "friends"?? Your cousin obviously picked you for good reason!

Well, according to the rules I know, being a godmother is basically being responsible for the child when parents are away (or dead) and to continue it's catholic/christian education. I don't see any sense in that which is why wouldn't want to be a godmother anyway... but seriously, it has nothing to do with presents (or maybe judging that is up to the parents of the child) so if you want to do it and the parents think you're the right person, why not do it?

It takes a village to raise a child. You seem very grounded and know what life requires. It's a very rewarding experience I would also share with my friends who could use some life lessons apparently.

Wow since when does being a god mother to someone mean you have to have a lot of money. Your definition is 100% on, you are there for that child with love, support, and yes presents but it's your cousin's kid you would be buying them presents anyway. ha-ha

Your friend sounds really materialistic and jealous!

You're in med school and on a tight budget? So what?! You're obviously a responsible, conscientious, hardworking person on her way to greatness. Go for it, it will be an incredible experience! Good luck to you.

I am pregnant. I was asked by my cousin to be a godmother to his son. Many people told me that it is wrong for a pregnant woman to go to the church and stand as the godmother for a child. Is there any truth to this?