I agree with DS. I would definitely put the engagement on hold. It sounds like she has a lot to work through and is definitely not over her last boyfriend. The fact that she can't let go of the past should be a huge red flag. End the engagement and go to couples counselling if you really want to try to make a go of it!

Even if she is innocent this sounds wrong... don't marry someone you don't trust...a ring won't fix your relationship

i know this situation all too well- i was that girl at one point. i got hurt really bad a while ago, and right after it happened, a previous boyfriend-who i consider one of my best friends and that I'd dated for years-helped me get through it. as it happened, he began wanting us to get back together. we started getting more serious, and I realized that I was merely trying to push the thoughts of the man who'd hurt me out of my mind by immersing myself in my friend. i love him with all of my heart- i really do-but at the time it just wasn't right for me to go back to him. i was too caught up in my broken heart. she is not ready to marry you, no matter how much she tells you she is. she is looking for something to depend on in the midst of all the hurt and the anger and the betrayal, and i suspect she is trying to convince herself the other guy wasn't right for her by marrying YOU and hoping it makes the pain go away (it wont!). i realized i was doing this and we decided to break things off for a while. now that i am over the hurt of the other relationship, i am realizing how much my friend loves me and is good for me. it might take time, but one day she may realize what she has is twenty times better with you. you just need to make her realize that. good luck!!

She has not moved on.Its time that you do

I can almost promise you that if you marry her you will end up getting a divorce. It sounds like she's using you (and your engagement) for emotional validation.

She needs to deal with this on her own and you deserve someone who is all there for you!

u sound like a really caring gr8 man, i think u should tell her exactly what u wrote here and explain that if she really feels for these other guys/ex then its not fair to you or anyone else, u need to have it out with her but dont start it in an argumentative way because she might feel scared and pressured and only tell u what u want to hear, perhaps u could have a longish engagement to sort out ur feelings and trust and see if u really have anything to worry about, i really hope u work it out and good luck

i agree...don't get married unless you know you can trust her. it is such a big step, and you don't want to make a huge mistake.

um...I think the first problem is that the first word you used to describe her was sexy. WTF

2 words marriage counseling. Do not ever marry some one you feel you can not trust. Not to mention her lack of respect for you. If you truly had her heart she would not have his pictures on display especially in a frame you gave her. It almost sounds like she trying to get you to break it off.

Dear is right. Don't marry her, she's not ready. You are good to be aware of this and also to not want a failed marriage.

So you got her a picture frame and she put a picture of her EX in it?!?!?!? Why are you still in this relationship? You both sound co-dependent. Do yourself both a favor and end it.

I agree with DearSugar 100% You should read it many times and let the reality of it set in! It seems like you are looking at the big picture (in a way) because you said, "Please help and advice as I do love her but I don't want a future shattered marriage" I hope that is not what happens to you. Good luck!

i admire your ability to admit to your insecurities. very few guys do so. and about your girl, i say i agree with Dear. she's not ready for you yet. good luck.

agreed with dear sugar here - at the very least, hold off on the wedding plans for a while, and talk to her. tell her everything you told us here, and let her know that certain things are just inappropriate. i curtail my relationships with my guy friends for my boyfriend out of respect...having a boyfriend (and especially a fiance!) changes the nature of your relationships with other men naturally. you're totally right in feeling uncomfortable! good luck and smart move asking about

I agree with DS. I see nothing wrong with having guy friends but this behavior with her ex makes me wonder why you even asked her to marry you so soon into you two going out? Trust me, your insecurity about this is not going to go away if she continues this behavior, it is not that she cannot be friends with an ex but based on what you were saying about the picture, it does look like she is not over him. Also you say she lies, is it about her feelings for him or something else? No trust equals no relationship and since relationships are based on trust and you state you do not trust her, I see no foundation for marriage, even if you wait. After one year, you will need counseling to build trust at this point and if you think it is worth it, go for it, but based on the time you have been together, I see no need for you to lower yourself to convince her you are the one she loves or that you are better for her. Go find someone that you trust from the get go and shows you love from the beginning.

I agree with DearSugar and the others above me. I wouldn't trust her. She is living in the past and she is not ready to commit to married. At least not with you. What if she runs into him at a coffee house or at a bar? Do you think she will be able to control herself and not cheat on you with him? You deserve better. Sit down and tell her what you told us, how you do not trust her because she cannot let go of her past. It would be best to call off the engagement until she can figure out who she really wants to be with.

DS is spot on. I think you're going wind up with a disaster on your hands if you don't work this out before getting married. She's not ready yet.