if i had a status, i'd wait til we discussed it
but i went for a long long time on facebook never having a relationship status for that reason...it's too awkward to change it either into a relationship or out (i would hate for everyone to know when we broke up) but that being said, about 3 or 4 months into dating my boyfriend he cutely decided to change his facebook so it acknowledges each other and i love having it...but i also have faith in us, we're not just a fling

I never did it when I dated my boyfriend for a year and 8 months- neither of us did. We have photos together and everyone knows. It is an online dating site - who cares? We broke up recently and I am GLAD now. I hate the idea of advertising my status.

I meant it is an online social site not dating haha - was referring to facebook.

I just don't answer the relationship status question. I leave it blank because it's no ones business whether I am single or in a relationship. We know that we are in a relationship and so do our families and friends. That's all that matters to me. If I only make my status public if I was married.

*I will only make my status public if I am married.

I wait for the guy to do it... i don't want to be the 'annoying clingy girlfriend'... ha. I'm very firm, they know they won't even get to kiss me unless they are going to be committed... so yeah... Plus, my profiles are private and only my friends can see them... girls are nosy and like to know relationship status'! Plus, its exciting to see someone you grew up with and haven't talked to in awhile get married via facebook/myspace.

i haven't had a relationship status on facebook since i was in college, but when i did become single again, i changed my status immediately. not to single, but to nothing. i figured it was a good way for me to tell my friends that the bf and i were done rather than having to go through that awkward "how's so-and-so" "yeah, we broke up"

I'm with geebers. If you base your relationship on a networking site status you have MUCH bigger problems.

Snarky I've been with my bf or 5 yrs and I never put a relationship status on my FB either. People are so nosey.

This is funny, b/c I just had this conversation w/ the bf. I hadn't even thought about it until he mentioned it, so we changed them the next day. We've been dating abt 2 months.

It doesn't really matter to me. I'm rarely on the site, but I do have my status set to 'in a relationship' because I have been for two years. My boyfriend doesn't have a facebook account. He's one in a million, right?

my ex-bf and i never had it on facebook... because he never accepted my relationship request... it just stayed there as a pending request for over 2 years until we broke up. so, mine said 'In a Relationship' but didn't say with who, and his said nothing. ....why did it take me over 6 years to break up with him? lol....
my current bf and i changed our status to 'In a Relationship' after a couple weeks of exclusive dating and then shortly after that we changed it so it showed we were in a relationship with each other.

jesssa, I'm with ya! I saw the "awaiting confirmation" for over an year before it hit me that he really couldn't confirm our relationship at all. I know that "it's only facebook" but, seriously, if a guy can't confirm your relationship on a website, then how the heck can he commit at all!

As far as a time frame, I'd probably say anytime after you've both decided to be exclusive.

um why is it important to put it on social network?

to be honest, i would remove the detail about the relationship all together after started dating. its really no ones business to know if your dating or not

I have mine set to in a relationship with *name of boyfriend* but I wish I hadn't set it now. I've got really fed up of my entire life being advertised on Facebook so I've removed a lot of the information from my profile and don't update my status anymore, I just wish I could delete my relationship status as it's nobody's business but then the questions will start despite the fact we are happy at the moment.

I'm a fan of keeping things as "single" unless I'm married. I'm not even Facebook friends with the gent I'm dating — it's too early, just our fourth date!

I have "in a relationship" set on my facebook, but if joined i probably wouldn't put the "with" part because I don't have a lot of person information on there, but I would if he requested it.

My Facebook relationship status is permanently set as "married" to my best friend. He's dating someone else and I date other people, but I'll never change it. I don't put any weight on having a "relationship status" on Facebook with someone. I actually think it's kind of dumb. A dated a guy for a year and he didn't even have Facebook and so it just never occurred to me that changing it was something I should do.

Then the next guy that I dated informed me that it was a HUGE deal. He was actually really distressed when we had been seeing each other for a couple of months and I hadn't changed my relationship status for him. According to him, saying that you are in a relationship on Facebook is what makes it "official." Needless to say, that relationship didn't work out. I'm not about telling/showing the world about who I'm dating. That's my business.

I am glad there are enough of us on here who think the facebook status stuff is really not important in the grand scheme of relationships. If you are that unhappy over a status- you need help. Best solution is to not even have that on there. I don't have a status and probably will not change it unless and until I am married!

LOL...I love this. You can have your settings so it doesn't announce it to the whole world. One of my friends was all gung ho about making sure he announced his status to "in a relationship" on it very quickly and things ended a couple days later and had to go back to "single" and he felt stupid.

It's dumb....you don't have to announce it, keep it to yourself all of your real friends know anyway. Unless you're using the website to date people.

agree with bella on not adding the guy too early! if you end up stopping the whole dating thing early, like after a few dates, but he's already added you on facebook then he has all this access to info about you and he isn't someone who is really in your life

and as for tidalwave and jesssa, i agree that if a guy can't commit online, where can he commit? i don't agree with people saying "if your biggest concern is your facebook status you have bigger problems"...i don't think so at all...it means you're lucky that you don't have huge issues and can worry about the frivolous and minute details of dating!

I wouldn't even play with that one. No way in hell would i ever tinker with it. I'm glad it's easy to remove.

Me and my boyfriend changed ours straight away! We've known each other 3 yrs though and it was obvious we were going to be together for a long time. We have shared friends who needed to know... =)

I'm not ashamed and it's not something I wish to hide!

If it was some random guy I had met and started dating though... um... well, whenever they changed theirs? Maybe a few weeks in? After the exclusivity talk? =)

I left the 'relationship status' blank. The people I care about always know my "status"! I actually dated someone over the holidays who would put things like "Had a great date with..." after our dates. Sweet, but so not my thing. Kind of a deal breaker to me. I'm super private.

i think this is where the term 'facebook-official' came from. if it says so on facebook, it must be in real life. one of my old roommates from university recently got engaged and i found out through facebook. lol... that's just the way it goes i guess.

and as for my ex not confirming our relationship status on fb, it was something he did purposely; he didn't want to have that on there in case other people saw it... meaning other girls. mmhmm.

jesssa - my ex got facebook right after we broke up and i put how i knew him by saying we dated from 2002 to 2006 or whatever it was and he went nuts and made me get rid of it (he's not smart enough to do it on his own) because obviously he had been cheating on me with other girls throughout those years and didn't want them to catch on...grrrr stupid guys

Once we've had "the talk".

oh, and Jesssa/skigurl - My ex "broke up" with me via facebook! I had no idea anything was up until I logged on and had a bunch of "oh, no, what happened??" messages from mutual friends. I called him and he was like, "I just want to be in college and live my life, but I still want to be with you." Um, ok? Seeing as how people use facebook to network socially AND romantically, you can't have a relationship and say you're "looking for dating, a relationship, and random play" - which is what he put on his profile.

I'm married and for a while had "It's complicated" listed as my Facebook status -- 1) It's no one's business 2) close friends already knew my status and 3) marriage IS complicated!!!!

My husband got bummed so I changed it.

BUT if I were single I wouldn't list anything unless I was married.

I'm so glad none of these things were issues when I was in college. Ah, to be old -- occasionally it's a good thing!

dm8bri - ridiculous!
i have a friend who was living overseas with her boyfriend of 6 years and right when she began grad school, he ended up moving home temporarily(due to work visa issues) - she met some new guys there when she began her grad school program and started liking the "single feeling" so instead of telling him what she was feeling, she decided to remove their relationship status from facebook...when he questionned it, she said she was doing some "spring cleaning" although this was the only thing "cleaned"....needless to say she was prepping herself for their eventual breakup and making herself "available" for potential new suitors who may add her on facebook

it certainly raises questions among your closest family and friends when you log on and the first thing you see is "jane doe and john smith have ENDED their relationship" - especially when these two have been living together since they were like 19 years old

My husband and I changed our facebook statuses to "in a relationship with ___" after we had "The Talk." Sure, facebook shouldn't be the end all, be all of your relationship, but I think it's a fun thing to do. I'm proud of my marriage.

Its been so long. I would say at least a month.

skigurl, same here. he didn't want all the other broads he was dating to know that he had a gf... soon after we broke up, he changed his relationship status to in a relationship with some girl he had been seeing for 3 months before we broke up lol.
some guys!

dm8bri - lovely! what a gem haha

I've been in a relationship for over 2 years now and although we both took off "single" I don't think it's necessary to put that we're in a relationship our for everyone to see.

I agree with what people said, we've got pictures and close friends/families know, so who cares?
That being said, if engagement/marriage ever showed up in the picture, then the status would definitely be changed.

Eh, seems kind of silly to me...

But I do have some guy friends who are married, but say that they're single on Facebook (their wives aren't on there). That's a little odd to me.

It never ceases to amaze me why announcing details of your personal life on a social networking site is so important to so many people. I guess I am the old one here.

Whatever happened to privacy and just enjoying your relationship without having to announce it to the world? If you have close family and friends, you will theoretically be talking to them occasionally, right? They will know if you are together or apart, so why do people give a f*ck about what other facebook "friends" know about their relationship? Seriously.

I honestly don't even get why this is an issue. It seems so stupid to me, sorry.

It was over a year for me! I know, definitely not the norm.

we discussed it with each other and changed it together when we were at his house to 'in a relationship [with each other]

I know what people mean when they say it's silly and that it shouldn't be a big deal, but I guess if you've made it clear it's important to you, and he won't change it... if it's just a silly little thing, then who cares what is on there?

I would be suspicious of a guy who wouldn't change it, unless he didn't even have facebook. And married guys listed as single? VERY suspicious!

tidalwave, jesssa & skigirl, I totally agree - if he can't commit online, to what extent is he prepared to commit at all? it's BECAUSE it's not a huge deal that him not wanting to do it raises a red flag for me.

Lol I assume we are mostly talking about Facebook here. I've had it all kinds of ways-- there was a time I was single and my status said "Single." Sometimes I left it blank so it wouldn't show up at all. At a time it said "In a Relationship" but didn't say with who because my bf at the time didn't have Facebook. Now it says "In a Relationship with ____." He "relationship-requested" me as soon as we had our talk so I accepted And on Myspace it says "In a Relationship" and my bf is the number 1 person on my friends. Hahaha ridiculous, I know...

After my boyfriend and I had been together for about 6 months he still hadn't changed his status to "in a relationship". So I sent him a message that said "i hate to have to be the one to tell you this but your not single anymore. love, your girlfriend." And he changed it the next day.

One problem that I ran into when I ended my relationship with my boyfriend of three years is that if your statuses are linked, (ie, Dick is in a relationship with Jane), then if Dick changes his status to single, it appears to facebook as if Jane has just entered a NEW relationship, and goes about announcing it to the world. AWKWARD.

More here: http://urbzen.com/2009/02/17/breakup-20/

Actions speak louder than words. You have a boyfriend who states he's committed, he loves you. Ok, then you see him every night? Good. He takes you out and gives you flowers. Fantastic. Then he's committed. Status hasn't changed online? Who cares if he spends every moment with you. You say he was missing one night? I guess you should check into it. You caught him at a bar with someone else? On top of another woman? Guess he's single now. Doesn't matter what the ole facebook states one way or the other. Take a look into his real life actions.

My boyfriend and I started dating about a month ago and just became official a few days ago. I did not show my relationship status after my last break-up, but he told me that he wants people to know we are together so he asked that I show it. I wasn't bothered by it. I know that feeling secure and exclusive is important to him, so this was just another way of showing that we are together.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and been friends for 13 years and I put a request out the other day. He still has not "confirmed". It is important to me as I am the mother of his only child and it bothers me that he doesn't feel the need to confirm that I am his only woman. I guess it is really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things but upsetting just the same.