inconsistent = not good
unreliable = definitely not good
does he call when he says he will? if not, that's also not good
if a guy really likes you, he will contact you all the time just to chat and to make plans
if not, he is just using you when it's convenient

feel him out. ask him, see what he says, and if he can't commit, get the hell out of there!

I would definitely question his level of commitment. Honestly, I have done this to guys in the past when I didn't want to get too close to them. I had a great time with them on dates and did like them, but did not want to be in a relationship at the time so I kept my distance when we weren't together.

If you do want something more from him then you should be straightforward. He could be protecting himself and afraid to get too close for fear that you'll reject him. Just have a casual talk about it to make sure you're both on the same page.

I have a question: Is the ONLY thing that makes you think he might be 'unreliable' is the fact that he doesn't call you for 'days in between'? If this is the only reason, I'd have to say that you're over-reacting. Just because a guy doesn't call you EVERY single day, doesn't mean that he's not into you. He probably has a job (hopefully!) and other things that he needs to deal with in life. If all his other actions demonstrate that he is genuinely attracted to you, I would continue to date him and see where it goes. As more time passes, you'll naturally end up spending more time with each other.

How many days in between? You've only known each other for a month, it's natutal to want to take things slow. I'd be worried however if doesn't call when he says he doesn't. That shows he's unrealiable and not willing to commit. But if he just isn't calling everyday, I say that's a good sign. Getting too involved too quickly is usually a bad idea.

...when he said he would*.argh.

Trust your gut, if you feel like he's not that interested he probably isn't so move on. If you feel like he might just be taking it slow then talk to him about his level of commitment and ask for some regular consistency.

if he's not interested he's not, but let's be realistic here, it's only been a month and you're still getting to know each other. I don't think that's it's required for him to call you all the time. If he doesn't call when he says he will ok I understand but if he's calling a few days after a date, then it's no big deal. And sweetie you just got out of a LTR.. just chill enjoy yourself and don't swear it.

This guy sounds just like my ex, and my ex was *definitely* not that into me. Go ahead and talk to him about it, but don't be surprised if he runs. Chalk it up as his loss and move on.

This same thing threw me for a loop when I got out of a 4 1/2 year relationship...I was so used to the "relationship" mentality where you talk and/or see each other daily that it seemed like the new guys I was meeting must just not be into me because I only saw them once or twice a week. A single friend had to point out that I was "dating" and that's the speed of dating. She was right...that was the way it went for a year or so, until I met my boyfriend and after a couple of months we were into a "relationship" and now we talk/see each other daily.

I'm willing to bet that on the days he's not calling you, he's out looking for other girls to date or is dating other girls. If you talk to him about it, he's just going to think that you're coming on too strong.

If a guy likes you and is interested in a relationship, he'll make an effort to contact you every day.

If you're looking for a real relationship, I would move on.

Hmmm...unless he's not calling when he says he will, I think telewyo may have hit the nail on the head.

Personally, any guy who isn't acting like he can't get enough of me is not worth dating. I'm looking for the real thing and if I'm really into someone, I want to be able to show it, and to expect them to show it!

Also: if he's not that interested now, when is he going to get interested? The first month of a relationship is supposed to be a romantic and exciting time.

You need to chill out because you just met, second, he's not your boyfriend, third. why are you stuck on this one guy? Date around. In fact, be single for a while, why are you in such a rush?

I don't understand the advice of "move on". I really don't know. Everything that is important and worthy in life requires lots of patience and investment. Love is no exception. Why can't we be more patient, understanding and be more observant. Only your gut feeling will tell you the truth. When you remove your own feeling of him in the situation, be quiet for a moment and look inside him in the relationship, do you feel like this guy is worth waiting for? Do you believe he has any potential or future with you? These are the questions to ask yourself. Two important things to consider 1) guys generally take longer time to commit if they are at all geniunely want to have a future with you. You don't want a guy who says "he loves you" 1 month he meets you anyway b/c he probably has made a habit of saying this causally to every other quality girl he meets anyway and 2) although straightforward and open communication is critical but you have to consider the personality of the guy. Certain man hates and feels extremely uncomfortable to be confronted with touchy and feel stuff and hates discussion of deep subject and the mere fact of that will skew his answer choice. That's my 10 cents. Best...

I completely agree with telewyo. Dating and relationships happen at different speeds. It may just take a bit of getting used to!

I'd suggest you to date other men beside this one.

So you'll have more options.

In my experience of dating, the ones who were serious in progressing into a relationship (commitment) were the ones who made more contact or attempt to keep in touch as often as he possibly can (of course, you can attempt to contact him too instead of just waiting for him to call you first especially since you guys have been dating for about a month).
Also, usually, you wouldn't be questioning his intention/feeling for you.

The man you're dating, it seems like, is still keeping his options open, although I won't rule out a possibility that he'll opt for you in the end. But if it were me, I'd rather be the guy's first option rather than the 2nd or 3rd choice after he didn't quite 'make it' with the other ladies he's dating.

Good luck to you.

I think babysoftpink is right on the money. Too often, we become so used to guys that proclaim their love for us within a matter of weeks, that it starts to seem bizarre and off-putting if things don't always progress at that heightened rate. I've had guys do this, and, frankly, I always get a feeling of "Hmm...how could he possible know me after a month? He's totally done this before to other girls" that I ultimately get grossed out by the guy and end up leaving them. You've only been with him for a month, it kind of sounds like he's not the clingy/obsessive/jealous/manipulative type - that's GREAT. It's f-ed up, but I think we (well maybe not all of us) start to think that love equates to jealous games, clinginess, and utter control when, really, relationships like that are always destined to fizzle out just as fast as they lit up.

He is probably dating around, and I suggest you do the same before you become too invested in just him.

I say calm down and give it time. You've only known him for a month! You're just dating! Whatever happened to mystery and fun and romance? Do people seriously just meet each other and the next instant they're engaged? Go out with other guys, play the field, do your own thing and you won't even notice how much time has passed between communication with him and, hell, you might stop caring.

your not exclusive so i think he dating others but isnt doing a good job at pretending that he isnt dating others. Some men i knew were dating others but we would talk online everyday. i knew he was seeing others that he would get texts or not call. yeah men can be jerks but again you arent exclusive. took me a while for me to just forget about that and have fun on my own, go date others as well. and if you feel your getting attached just step back, he might be doing that as well or just drop the guy. cuz if he isnt into you as you think and like him alot its gonna hurt when this doesnt turn into a relationship. its up to you. have some confidence! it takes awhile to get back into the dating scene. dating shouldnt make you miserable it should be fun, i was like that too, got so frusterated i just stopped letting myself get hurt and then i met someone who i am with now for 6months. and hasnt hurt me yet. jsut stop taking dating seriously, when you stop looking thats when you will meet someone for you!

He said he likes you. He didn't say he loves you. And just because he likes you doesn't mean he's signed on for a full-time relationship right off the bat. It's only a month!

I think I might be involved with a long distance commitment phobe. We've seen each other a few times and have talked on the phone almost every day. We've known each other almost 3 months now and have changed our statuses on an internet social site to complicated and he's told me that he's never changed his status before. However, he keeps telling me he wants to do things to make me smile and make me happy, which he does by sending me YouTube clips that are really cute and romantic.

But now that we've changed our statuses, there's been 2 times that he's been funny, it seems like he wants to fight, but then backs down. My best friend thinks that he's a commitment phobe, while my other friends think he's not. We haven't met either one of our friends, besides my best friend and her husband. Should I dump him or wait a few more weeks?