Well in all honesty I think abstinence is something that can be practiced. I'm not saying it is for everyone, but I don't think it should be criticized for being so unobtainable. I am 25 almost 26 year old woman who has chosen to stay abstinent for my own reasons. Yes, I know that I am odd man out which is fine. However, I am very aware of safe sex, pregnancy and STDs. I also believe that in schools BOTH sides should be taught. I mean sure some kids want to get it on, however there may be others that want to take a different route and both side should be respected.

this is similar to that episode of (the original) 90210 when they wanted to distribute condoms

it's not realistic to think that many young people will completely abstain. of course, some will. but to be realistic, you have to provide them with the tools to stay safe in the event that they don't listen to you (as kids often don't)

It's her opinion, but how can she say what someone else is capable of? It is realistic, so many people have done it and will continue to do it, just because she chose to have sex before marriage and before being a responsible adult doesn't mean others can't. That's just being small minded to me. I'm all for abstinence.

I think it is unrealistic because the reality of it is, is teenagers are going to have sex. You need to prepare them for the consequences because they don't know what is going to happen and the worst of it could be having a child. The sex ed in my high school was laughable and I know so many people who graduated with a child or one on the way and that's not a good start. The issue is, is that abstinence ed is not working, so fix it. Find a better way to teach kids because, lets face it folks, tv isn't working.

Today, abstinence has become more "uncommon" I'll say, but it can be done. It's a personal choice and it's up to the individual. There's nothing wrong with that. But, there's nothing wrong with having sex either, just be smart about it.
And that's great urban chic that you stick to your beliefs!

Oh, and more power to anyone who wants to be abstinent but don't force your beliefs on everyone else. Just because you can do it doesn't mean everyone else can.

agree, divinedebris, and to add to your comment - it's not just that they "CAN" do it, it's that they WANT to do it...i was abstinent until right after i graduated highschool because i never felt the urge to do it with anyone and was never comfortable enough. when i did it, it wasn't because i couldnt' possibly hold my urges any longer, but rather, i wanted to share that with my boyfriend, and definitely didn't want to go to university a virgin. so just because some people want to be abstinent, some other people have partners they love and other random reasons for doing what they do...so you're right, don't push your views just because sex isnt something you choose to do

I was the lucky one in high school. Abstinence was suggested, but birth control was advocated more. I think it's realistic for SOME people. For others, no, it's not. In high school I was expected to have sex, since I was labeled "popular" and it's not as if I wasn't offered...but I didn't, because I just never met anyone I really wanted to do it with. It was right for me being that young. I got older, and yeah, I had sex...but it was right when it happened.

kids in high school just don't seem to understand that how even ONE time you can get pregnant. My mom got pregnant with me on the day she lost her virginity - when she was 24. It was a freak thing, but it happens. They also don't understand what goes along with having a baby -- how expensive they are. But, they also feel as though nothing can happen to them. It may sound like a blanket statement, but teenagers are some of the most selfish and foolish people around. That's fine and normal. They can have sex, but they need to be smart about it. It seems as though "prom night" is what all teens look forward to as the first time to have sex -- but they don't think about condoms or birth control before they plan that.

I am SO glad I waited, because truly, it would have been meaningless. I was in a relationship for four years, and we both didn't care about sex that much. It wasn't needed, and wasn't even really thought about. I loved him and he loved me...but I didn't feel real to have sex with him. When I did have sex, it was because I wanted to share that with someone, and it meant so much. We're still together, and I couldn't be happier we both weren't screwing everything we saw in HS.

abstinence isn't unrealistic, ABSTINENCE ONLY SEX EDUCATION is unrealistic. plenty of people choose to abstain from sex, and plenty of people choose to have safe sex, and plenty of people choose to have unsafe sex. I agree with her that it is a person's choice but that varied education is logical and needed.

I don't see why the consequences of pregnancy can't be discussed even while promoting abstinence. What if you get married when you're 18 and get pregnant? Shouldn't you still understand what being a parent is all about regardless of whether you were married or not. There are still unplanned pregnancies in marriage.

I think it is unrealistic. I'm 20, and abstinent for now, but I still roll my eyes when someone tries to push this idea on teenagers. Waiting for marriage would be fine when people used to marry at 18/19, but nowadays more and more people wait until they close to 30, or later. Career and stability comes first. So, obviously, most people aren't willing to wait until then.
I think what should be taught at schools is safe sex, prevention against STD's and pregnancy. And parents at home should teach their kids to be confident enough to think for themselves, and wait until they're ready and are in a loving relationship, not because "everybody else is doing it".

at this point, in our "i want it now" society, it probably is. kids learn by what they see, and in the US at least there isn't much delayed gratification going on.

*nod* If you're gonna teach abstinence, teach everything. Yes yes, teach waiting, but teach responsibility too. Just because you come telling people to wait, doesn't mean they will. And not teaching them how to be responsible, using condoms, not picking up random strangers on the corner, will help just as much. Not everyone can, wants to or will wait. It's like the whole DARE program telling us to not do drugs or just say no. Half my classmates ended up pregnant, on drugs, alcoholics, smokers, etc. Telling not to do something just doesn't work. It's better to teach responsibility than to teach prevention. Makes sense?

I'm with skigurl, only for me it was my senior year of high school. I know a lot of teens due to my job, and rather than losing their virginity because it's something special they want to share with someone who means the world to them, it's something they all do because it feels good. It's a societal problem, like lickety said, not just a problem with our teens. Teaching abstinence only is like teaching a person how to cut up food small enough that no one ever chokes on it, rather than teaching someone the Heimlich maneuver.

Teens have been having sex for centuries. Girls used to get married when they turned 12! It was just unacceptable to have a baby out of wedlock, which has become so very common. Of course the most obvious choice to prevent this was not have sex. Then came birth control so it was easier to have sex when you are younger. So now why wouldn't it be acceptable to have babies when you are in your teens. I definitely see Bristol's point. I went to an abstinence only school and they even really didn't teach us not to do they just said don't do it or else. Then our Sr. year we watched a video about abstinence and it was teaching us that condoms don't work because they have holes in them that sperm and STDs can go through, WTF!! I was so outraged at this crap they were showing me that I left.

Sex should be taught in schools!!!!! Abstinence is not realistic and teens need to be informed on how to have safe sex!!!

It is unrealistic across the board, despite the hand full (let's be real here) of people who do abstain from sex. The issue here is whether Abstinence Only Sex Ed is credible and useful. It's just NOT. Not all teenagers are going to abstain, and not giving them the education and subsequent tools to have safe sex (at the very least) is irresponsible. We're human - ultimately animals - sex out of wedlock has been going on for centuries. This is nothing new and we need to wake up.

Kudos to the people who wait, but there are still a lot who do not. Abstinence only education is unrealistic. However, at least teaching abstinence is still teaching something. I never had a sex ed class in high school.

sex should not be taught in schools. are you serious, the schools can't even teach what's on the reports cards now (english, math, science) NOTHING needs to be added to the list of what schools are responsible for.

Like I said when this was posted in CitizenSugar:

Forget about what's "realistic" - let's talk about REALITY. In reality, there are people who, for whatever reason, choose to abstain from sex for a certain period of time/until marriage/forever. In reality, there are ALSO people who have sex. BOTH being abstinent and sexually active are REALISTIC in this sense, because they BOTH really happen.

I agree that abstinence-only education does a disservice to teens. We should be teaching a comprehensive view of sexual health that includes BOTH sex ed and abstinence. Because, as I said before, BOTH are realistic.

A lot of the problem comes from what people EXPECT others to do. We either expect everyone to not have sex until the "appropriate" time, or we expect everyone to have sex now. Neither of these expectations is correct, because everyone is different and DOESN'T ACT the same way.

The truth is, everyone has a CHOICE. You can choose to have sex, or you can choose not to. So teach sex ed as though it IS a choice. Place the same emphasis on both ways: if you choose to be abstinent, this is what you will face and how you can deal with it. If you choose to have sex, these are the other issues you will have to face, and this is what you need to do to protect yourself and deal with these other issues.

I find that to be pretty simple - but in reality, nothing ever is.

Look, it's a nice idealistic thing that everybody wants to see, and I was a HUGE abstinence and pro-life advocate as a teen, so I think I have a unique perspective on this. I was a virgin for a very, very long time, but as I've grown up and lived in the "real world" I agree that abstinence is just not realistic as a goal for society. As a goal for yourself, fabulous, I'm all for it. But you can't use abstinence education in public policy - it simply doesn't work, and it makes teen pregnancy rates rise. Big government studies of the past 10 years (studying recently implemented abstinence-only education programs) show that abstinence education makes absolutely zero impact on the amount of teens having sex, and may even damage safe sex practices. As an adult and a pragmatist, my policy goal would be to a) lower health care costs and b) reduce abortions. The only way to lower teen pregnancy rates via public health polivy is with comprehensive sex education and affordable birth control. Otherwise, we are really living in a dream world where lots of women will suffer.

and p.s. I just gained a HUGE amount of respect for Bristol Palin. With the cost of birth control these days, teens are fighting an uphill battle against pregnancy especially if they have strict parents who refuse to give guidance on sex matters. Abstinence is fantastic, and it worked for me for a long time, but I concede that it's definitely not the most effective real-world solution, and I applaud Bristol Palin for actually realizing that.

Well...I wouldn't totally say it's unrealistic, but if you just teach how to wait, and not how to be safe as well as values, what good is that? Not everyone is "smart" some people are so naive that all they will know is "don't do it" and neglect safety when they do end up doing it.

i think its very unrealistic to expect teens not to have sex. adults make it seem so important and unbelievable, why wouldnt kids want to do it?! teaching birth control and consequences of not using it would be much more affective than saying not to have sex at all. its impossible to expect abstinence from teens who see it everywhere, magazines, TV, books....

Educators should never push teens to do anything! They should present all sides of the spectrum and let them make their own decisions.

And I agree with Bristol; it's so unrealistic to think that everyone's going to be married before they have sex. That barely ever happens anymore. People 15-30 are more sexually open than ever before, and that's another reason why parents and middle/high schools should teach how to be sexually safe.

I think that it is unrealistic. Sex ed shouldn't be about one extreme or the other, but include both, and also stress that abstinence is a perfectly good choice for boys as well as girls. I knew so many girls in high school who were respected if they wanted to wait, but most guys got totally humiliated if it was found out they were virgins, especially junior and senior year. I think that it should be taught that abstinence in guys is good too, and that they are to be respected for that choice, at the very least because they're looking out for more than just themselves in the long run by making it. Girls and abstinence means not getting themselves pregnant; guys and abstinence means that they won't get a girl pregnant, and by making that choice a guy is taking responsibility for his actions towards women, which I heartily applaud.

I think both should be discussed in schools, but discussion of birth control methods is a must. More often than not, teens are going to experiment and choose to have sex than abstain, so they need to know how to protect themselves from STIs and pregnancy.

Sex education should included both choosing to be abstinence and how to protect yourself if you decided not to be and what forms of birth control are out there.

Its not for everyone. But it can work, I'm living proof. I'm almost 21 and I'm still a virgin. I believe schools should teach both abstinence and methods of birth control... my school did.

I completely agree with sourcherry.

Abstinence itself is not unrealistic, but as many other posters have said, abstinence only education IS. It's dangerous to prevent teens from getting the information they need to make their own informed decision.

Abstinence is fine, but A. It should not be pushed on anyone, and B. it should be the choice of the individuals involved, not their parents, friends, teachers or anyone else.

I once dated a guy who had been taught sex education in a religious, Pro-Abstinence environment, and he'd somehow got the idea that women were pregnant for 11 months! If he couldn't even figure gestation periods out, how much did he know about how to properly use condoms or other birth control, their effectiveness, and the danger of STDs, not to mention how best to detect and/or prevent them!

I say, teens should be given the opportunity to make the best choice for THEM. whatever that may be, as well as access to condoms and/or other forms of contraceptive.

Yes I do because sex is a very tricky thing to avoid in today's society and if you are a drinker you can lose control. So you never know what is going on around you.

I find it very strange to teach abstinence...Kids are ready when they're ready. Might be with 14, might be with 24. But when they do have sex, they need to know all about std's and birth control.

Why does abstinence need to be "taught"? What is there to teach? Proper use of contraception, on the other hand, requires information, education, knowledge... and that's why schools should teach sex ed. It's completely unreasonable to expect that an entire class will wait until marriage to have sex.

I think that both contraceptives and abstinence should be taught equally and treated as a personal choice, not something that is forced on anyone. In Aus both are taught and it seems to do most people a world of good. I don't think abstinence is unrealistic, I just think that it should be treated as a personal choice, and those that choose it are making a decision based upon facts and personal beliefs instead of doing it cause someone else told them to.

The fact of the matter is that the concept of 'this day and age' isn't applicable. Teens are going to bone eachother no matter what - and it doesn't matter what year you're living in! Do you think teens weren't f*cking when Sarah Palin was growing up?

It's about teaching safe sex. The minute you tell someone they're not supposed to do something - they want to do it.

I'm sorry, but the main issue here is that she is saying that teens should "wait ten years to have sex" and then that "abstinence is not realistic."

...didn't you just say that people should abstain?

I agree. Abstinence is unrealistic.

Good grief! I hate it when people don't believe that abstinence is realistic. I dated my husband for over three years, was engaged for a little less than one, and we were both virgins on our wedding night (at age 22). Many of my friends were "able" to do this as well.

We the age of the "Fast Food Syndrome". I want X and I want it now. I will not wait. I will not be patient. Give me X.

Let me tell you, waiting wasn't always easy, but it also wasn't always hard. And I am so glad that I did.

the people who do not think its realistic, have no control

I think it's unrealistic to expect everyone to abstain simply because people that don't want to, won't.

Here we go, CP: You say the people that think it's not realistic have no control. Well, if they have no control... then it's not realistic to expect those people to abstain, is it? And if some people can't remain abstinent, then it's not realistic for the whole population.

And I think the more important question is not whether people CAN remain abstinent, but whether people will choose to remain abstinent. Plenty of people will hear "Don't have sex!" and think "Okay, why?" and then do it anyways, and get pregnant and acquire all kinds of nasty STDs because no one ever told them how to use a condom.

I work with teen mothers who are homeless/facing homelessness. You know what would wake up some of these kids who leave high school and think they can get pregnant for a comfortable life?? VISITING A MOTHER AND BABY UNIT.

You DO NOT want to end up in one of those. The girls I work with are typically uneducated and of lower classes - Bristol is a real "anomaly"... I guess she can thank her overbearing mother for giving her enough confidence issues to need to have sex young. Seriously.