If you want, call, leave a msg, then call it a day. But, did you even give him your number? And if his phone was dead...how can you really give him your number by calling his phone? It won't ring and register in the phone ~_^ (at least not usually)...so this all doesn't make sense really... From what you said...other than you calling his dead phone, he has no other way of contacting you.

You shouldnt have gone home with him, you should have balked at options 1 & 2 and then chose 3. Now you're just going to be a booty call. Shoot him a text saying "Had a great time last night! I'm free Thursday" so then he definitely has your number and then just wait. Dont contact him again unless he contacts you. If he doesnt contact you then he's not into you.

You never should have gone home with him! Ugh.

Anyway, if his phone was dead, it wouldn't have registered your number when you called. (Unless you left a message with the number in it.) So call him once, tell him it was nice to meet him and leave your number. Do NOT suggest a night to get together. That has to be his idea. If he's interested, he'll call back.

I agree with Luisa and Fallen. To be honest, there is a very low chance that he will contact you again, because basically you are not a challenge and most men don't see someone that would go home with them that easily as gf material. Although I could be suprised in this situation, I wouldn't hold out too much hope now that you have slept with him. In any case, don't pursue him, let him contact you. Whatever you do, if you do see him again, do NOT sleep with him for awhile. If he doesn't contact you, then he just wanted sex. Good luck to you and next time I would suggest waiting to sleep with someone if you are interested in dating/ a relationship.

i think it's ridiculous that you girls are telling the OP that she shouldn't have gone home with him. she WANTED to go home with him, and she said herself that she had a wonderful time. what the hell is wrong with that? i'm so sick to death of the double standard that exists when it comes to sex... whether it be one-night stands or not. just because you go home with a guy on the first night does NOT mean you will never have contact with him again. not ALL guys are users. and besides, who's to say that sometimes it's not the GIRL who wants the one-night stand!? i personally have had my fair share of "one night stands" and i do not regret a SINGLE ONE. i also feel that if i girl is perceptive enough, she can gauge whether or not a first-time sexual encounter will turn into a one-night stand... or if it will turn into something more. i know that i'm able to tell the difference. for example, one of my one-night stands was with the lead singer of a well-known band. i knew that it was not going to turn into a relationship... i mean, he was on tour, his permanent home was halfway across the country, we didn't talk about anything significant, and we were both drunk. did i WANT to hook up with him? ABSOLUTELY! i was safe about it, and i have never regretted it. in fact, when i hear his band's songs on the radio, or see them on tv, i smile. i don't feel like a slut... because it was MY choice. he didn't "use" me... because i was completely willing. in contrast, i've had other "we-just-met" sexual encounters that DID turn into more... and i felt at the time that they might! in fact, the guy that i'm currently dating is one that i met three years ago at a show. i went home with him to smoke, and ended up hooking up with him. i got a very good vibe from him, and we ended up talking a lot about our families, music, etc. he even whipped out his guitar and started playing me a song he had written the day before. it was such an amazing encounter that i knew in my heart it wouldn't be the last time i'd hear from him. i stayed the night there and had to leave very early in the AM. i didn't wake him up when i left, but i left my number on a piece of paper on the coffee table. he called a couple of days later, and we've been hanging out on and off for the past three years. about a month ago, we started dating exclusively, and he's the first guy in a LONG time that i can see becoming a boyfriend. SO.. moral of the story... DON'T BE SO FREAKING JUDGMENTAL! the OP DID go home with him... had a great time... and i believe strongly that he WILL want to hang out with her again. i would text him my number with a cute message, or just call him a couple of days later. GOOOOOD LUCK!!!

I don't see anything wrong with one night stands. But if you are going to sit by the phone afterwards then you shouldn't have them. You should only have them if that's all you want, and anything extra is just a bonus. Otherwise you end up feeling used and rejected.

smurfle just because I said she shouldnt have gone home with him doesnt mean that it's because I think she's a slut. I have always been an avid supporter of women going out, getting laid and not feeling guilty for it but in this situation (because she obviously wants more from the guy) she shouldnt have gone home with him.

Even your one night stand with the buddy you've been hanging out with for 3 years doesnt add up to the same thing, the guy in the OP's story made it very clear what his intentions were "1) go have sex at his place 2) go have sex at her place 3) have a proper date and get to know each other the traditional way" In your situation you were going to his place to just hang out and it happened to turn into sex, very different situation. If the OP wanted to bang the guy and wouldnt be too upset if it turned into a ONS then she could go right ahead and choose 1 or 2 but if she wants it to be more then she should have chose 3.

By f*cking someone the first time you meet them you set up a precedent. The next time they see each other they will have sex, they will probably have sex everytime they see each other now and the lines between relationship and f*ck buddy will be forever blurred. He will start seeing her as sex and not a gf and she will become more attached to him and start viewing him as a bf rather then just sex. Someone will get hurt and it will probably be her. That is, IF he even calls her!

The best way to deal with a situation like this is if you really like him and can see a future then choose option 3 and go from there. If you dont mind just being a ONS or a FB then choose 1 or 2 and maybe, if you're lucky it may turn into a relationship but chances are... it's just sex.

I'm kinda traditional too when it comes to this. One-night-stands that turn into a real relationship, imo (and based from experience) are exceptions to the norm. Most guys will feel totally flattered (and happy) if the gal will give it up the first night or whatever since it made them feel irresistible and have their attraction returned by the gal but it won't be long until some of them will revert to the double standard. Like, if she's jumped into bed with me within a few hours of meeting me, she'd probably do it with a whole lot of other guys (although this may not be the case).

Well, OP if his phone is dead, I doubt that your number will pop up, UNLESS you leave a message with your phone number on it. And don't be waiting by the phone, seriously, if he's really into you, and he calls, and you just happen to be in the bathroom taking a shower, he'll be more than happy to hear from you when you call him back. Or text him or whatever. These days, not calling is no excuse at all because of all the easy connection (text, cellphones, e-mails, facebooks, etc etc etc)

I hope everything will turn out well for you OP and you be the exception, so good luck there, gal.

I don't think that it's BECAUSE a woman goes home with a guy that it necessarily wont turn into something more. I think it's more likely that a guy either wants to date or he wants to hook up. And hooking up the first night wont change his pre-determined position. I think that a guys is going to call or not call regardless of whether or not she goes home with him.

If he doesn't call it is correlated to the fact that she went home with him, but it's not CAUSED by that fact. Anyone else see what I'm saying?

In your opinion, does the situation change if they just "hooked-up" or if they actually had sex? Or is a first night hook-up the same thing no matter what?

I'm not bashing on her for going home with him because she wanted sex. I'm telling her it was a bad idea because she clearly wants MORE than sex out of this.

Either way, I think guys who do that are just as trashy. My last guy and I waited 2 months, and it was well worth it. I've been seeing a new guy for a few weeks now and neither of us has tried anything more than kissing. It's about a level of respect for the other person, and genuinely wanting to get to know them.

Smurfle:
The only reason I agreed with the others that she should not have done this is because she obviously wanted more than just sex out of the situation. I have talked to lots of guys about this, and most admit to me that they don't see a girl who does that as having relationship potential. I am not saying that I judge her in any way or disagree with what she did. But unfortunately, most men see it differently. There is still a double standard, whether you accept it or not. Yes, sometimes a relationship develops out of this situation. But more often than not, the girl sits around thinking about the guy and hoping he phones, only to either: a).never hear from again or b). get texted for a booty call or have the guy expect just a sexual relationship.

You also said that if a girl is perceptive enough, she will be able to tell what a guy really wants. Well, there are many, many girls out there that are not that perceptive, partly because guys can be charming and say the things girls want to hear. I have had one night stands before, I don't think there are anything wrong with them. But generally if you are hoping a relationship is going to happen out of it, then you probably shouldn't have sex with the guy right away. A guy wants to feel that he is getting a girl who is not willing to drop her pants and bang a dude on the first night. It is just the way it is most of the time. I have also had guys tell me that sometimes they will try just to see if the girl will sleep with them right away to see if she is easy, and if she is willing they might have sex with her but that is it. It is true of everything that waiting a bit for and anticipating something makes it more enjoyable and meaningful when you finally get it.

Popgoestheworld, Fallen, and Janine nailed it.

The interesting thing to me is that this guy actually GAVE the OP option three. He didn't just say "your place or mine", he actually threw dinner next week in as a choice. It's like it was a test to see where her head was at....guys think very black and white..."if she chooses 1 or 2, it's about sex, if she chooses 3, she wants to take it a little more slowly and get to know me". The fact that the OP choose to sleep with him immediately gave him an answer, and the answer is, I don't need to get to know you better, I want sex now.

For the OP to say, I chose option 1 and 3 is a bit ridiculous to me. Maybe this guy will call her for dinner, but I am going with the odds here and saying the next communication from him will be a booty call.

I would never have gone home with this guy inebriated. Sounds like you got a ONS when you didn't want one.

Somehow I think the option thing was more of a test. Really, if you wanted to start having a relationship with this guy, the option should have been 3 only. Since you chose sex and THEN dinner...well, what if he was just playing you, I'm sorry to say?
He got what he really wanted (sex), even while agreeing to dinner (relationship builder) - he doesn't have to follow through now!

Either way, what's done is done. Give him a call, see what's up. If he doesn't answer, doesn't call you back, or only calls you back for sex, then...well - it was what it was.

Oh, and OP, just because he snuggles in the morning, makes you breakfast and drives you home doesnt mean it's any more then just a f*ck. I had a F*ck Buddy that lasted for like 2 years and he would come over late at night, we'd bang like bunnies and then we would cuddle and chat and maybe watch a movie and he would usually stay the night. For that one night it was like I had a boyfriend but after that... we wouldnt contact each other again unless we wanted to hook up.

I agree with smurfle and MSucre. Just because you have sex with some guy right away doesn't mean it'll always be about sex. That said, this guy is obviously up to something because he presented three "options." Personally, his strategy would have turned me off but that's just me.

Leave the guy a message with your phone number, and if he doesn't call you, let it go.

If you seriously have to ask, you already have issues. And the point of a one night stand is that you wont see each other again. Stop being so desperate and respect yourself.

My opinion is completely in line with jazzytummy and the black and white way guys think.

Also agree with those who said that one nights stands are great if you want to get laid; just don't be looking for something else the day after. The numbers aren't in your favor of that working out.

Not every man you meet is looking for a relationship or interested in dating it doesn't matter if you have a ons or not. Leave a message if he doesn't answer move on.

Oh no there are mistakes all over this! You should have written your number down for him or something. Anyways, he definitely doesn't have your number so if you want to see him again you have to call.

Pretty convenient his phone was dead. Why didn't you give him your number on a piece of paper at his house? It all seems like this was an awesome way to get you home before you realized it wasn't his real phone number.

Do you at least remember where he lives? Good to know since you can't reach him by phone, you know, in case you end up preggers from all of this.

Text Him ... DO NOT CALL HIM ...
He will get the text, and then decide if he wants to call you or not ..

I'm not so sure there's a double-standard... I think a man who sleeps around is just as dirty as a girl who sleeps around. I think girls tend to forgive male promiscuity because they want boyfriends, and men tend NOT to accept promiscuity in a girlfriend/prospective wife. Sure, if you're just looking for a random screw you can have that. But many times, as in cases like this, women are not looking for a random screw, they're looking for a steady, dependable screw. If you know anything about screws, you know that once it's done, it's done... the thread is established and I'll be damned if you're going to change how it goes in after the first time. Hope you got the hardware analogy.

Please don't advice the op to go after this guy, not only is she already desperate, this dude obviously doesn't want to date her. She should stop humiliating herself and start respecting herself.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you don't have any options here. You made a rookie mistake by giving it up on the first night -AND- expecting it to become a relationship.

I think he lied about the cell being dead and probably wanted you to leave.

If you are going to engage in one night stands (which I have nothing against... but you have to be savvy enough to understand the difference), then you need to be mature enough to realize that 9 times out of 100, they DO NOT become relationships!

My advice: don't try to contact him (you will just embarrass yourself) and start doing some self examination on why you sabotaged the potential relationship (when clearly this is what you were looking for) by hopping in bed with a total stranger.

Well is sounds like a one night stand to me. You meet a guy at a bar and go home with him that same night..but that is your choice, I'm not going to judge here!! Personally, I would give him a call and see what's up. The way you tell the story, he seemed to be interested in you..if he was willing to wait and have a date at a later time. Go on a give him a call, it's no big deal.

Well, if sugar is going to recycle these month old topics, the least we should get is an update from the OP on if the guy called or not.

Since she hasn't posted yet, I would bet money no.

I wish more people asking for advice on Sugar would give us an update. I'm always curious as to how everything turned out. And who was right.

I might be a little old fashioned, but I think if he really wanted to see her again, he would have asked for her number instead of giving her his.

this isn't the case for this particular post, but just in general, i really hate it when fellow sugar-users tell OPS that they are stupid, immature, desperate, slutty, trashy... these are normal people and their feelings are very likely to get hurt. please try to be respectful (a lot of you are, which is great... and again, i'm not saying the comments to THIS post in particular are harsh.. just for future reference!!!!!!!)

^totally agree.

One-night stands are for those who seek sex and easy gratification, which is cool, if you are prepared with what may follow. If you are seeking a relationship, it can be a crap shoot. If you are willing to go that route, cool.

No,you're not dumb, immature, etc. You are human. Some of the posters need to seriously check themselves or stay off the Love and Sex board, if they can't handle various tales of - what is that? - oh, love and sex.

Send him a casual, perhaps cheeky message sometime in the following week - and if he doesn't respond or call you then forget about him.

While I agree it isn't nice to call the OPs names, I also don't think it does them any favors to sugarcoat your opinions. Some of the people write in with the most unhealthy behaviors or relationships, and they don't even see it. They want opinions from outsiders looking in, and that's what they get.

The bottom line is that anyone who posts here is familiar with this site and the posters. Some may seem a bit harsher than others, but like they say, if you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. It's not like they don't know what they are going to get.

You went home with him and then wonder why he hasn't called? Do not have one night stands if you expect him to call after, it doesn't work like that. You're doing it wrong. =)

He might call. He might not. Learn from this experience.

Well If you went home with him...
he probably just wanted to sleep with you
he doesnt really love you.
So change your number cuz he could find oput a lot of info about you.
and try not to do that again.
it was completely wrong...
unless you knew the guy.
If he is a stranger you are an idiot

You know you love me
XOXO
Mii

He made you breakfast, took you home and gave you his #. I say stop thinking too much. Just call and leave him your #. If he calls you back then start to get to know him. No need to complicate the situation or over-thinkiing it.

Smurfle you are correct ... I mean dead on. First of all she is an adult, she made a decision to go home with the guy, therefore it was the right decision for her. Second, if his phone was turned off then the call would not have gone through, so therefore it didn't register on his cell phone. Lastly, just because you are a female or woman, or identify with women, it does not mean that you cant call a guy that you are interested in-its ok for you to make the first move. Where are you getting these outdated rules. I slept with my ex girlfriend on our first night out and were together for over a two years and we are still best friend. Seriously, get over yourselves...get over your sex/gender ...its ok to call the guy..its ok to make the first move. He may be wondering the exact same thing: " is she in to me?". Those old archaic ideas: "the guy wont call if you have sex on the first date or one night stand", "guys want a challenge", "the only thing a woman should chase is a shot of whiskey", will guarantee that you will be a middle age crazy cat lady, while all your frends are out with their significant others having fun. Ps..."marcella" "fallen" dont think that just because a guy takes you out for a third date and is nice to you he want leave you as soon as you get what he wants. It doesnt matter if you sleep with him on the first date or 15th date of your third year together some guys, like some girls are jerks...and some are not. Sex on a first date ... or one night stand doesn't mean that the guy is not going to call...sometimes we need to be assured that you are into us. So call the guy.

jazzytummy--That would be cool if people posted updates. Unfortunately, the only way I see to do it is to give up your anonymous status. That's probably a turn-off to a lot of people.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS GO SEE THE MOVIE HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO HER. This will answer a lot of questions for all the people who keep looking for answers.

Lawdawg, it has been my experience that if a guy really wants to see me again, he will call. If he doesn't, he won't.

If he is one of the guys you say is waiting for me to call because he is "unsure", that also means he isn't that into me, because if he really liked me,he would have gotten over his uncertainty and picked up the phone.

I appreciate what you are saying about the "archaic ideas", but there is a REASON why women feel this way.... all of the guys out there looking to get laid and telling you they want more than that, telling you they will call, when in fact, they don't.

It only takes one of those experiences to make you feel like an idiot that you bought into it. After that, for me personally, I learned my lesson, and quite frankly, don't believe the majority of things strange men say...I am cautious because of YOUR gender, not mine.

I've said this many times before, but I'll do it again....for every guy that calls you after a one night stand and says he wants a real relationship, there are 100 girls waiting by the phone. I am not talking about those who want casual sex too and don't care, I am talking about people like the OP who think a relationship will come from it. These are the minority of situations.

By the way, telling us to "get over our sex/gender" is way rude....maybe you should stick to Spike TV.

AMEN lawdawg!! It's refreshing to hear someone (especially a guy) who refuses to generalize the genders. Everyone has had various experiences, but I refuse to believe that one guys behavior reflects all the whole gender. I also understand that many of the posters would never put themselves in compromising positions, and that's great. However, if you are really participating in a forum to be constructive, then be constructive, not cruel. I assume she's looking for real advice, not someone to twist the knife.

"it has been my experience that if a guy really wants to see me again, he will call. If he doesn't, he won't."

You got it, jazzy. Hello? Hasn't anyone read He's Just Not That Into You? It's true. All of it. There is nothing new under the sun.

It should have to occurred to her that if his phone was not on, her missed call would not register. I wonder how many times he's used that line...

Quick comment on the topic of being cruel to people who post. It's true that sometimes people are harsh. But, that is the beauty of anonymous advice giving. You don't have to sugarcoat your answers for fear of offending people. It's like, if your friend came to you saying "Oh, I'm not sure this guy is going to call" then you're very gentle and try to make her feel better about it etc. But you know, sometimes you just want to say "yeah, well, get over it and move on!" Strangers can say what your friends probably WANT to say, but can't because you'll get pissed! That said, I don't think there's much use for words like slut and wh*re in being harsh.

And onto the gender issue. I have NO problem with girls calling guys up after dates. The reason why I often don't recommend it is that most of the women in the situation lack any confidence in the fact that the guy is going to WANT to receive a call. I mean, you can tell, right? When a guy really digs you? Then you know you can call him up and he'll be psyched to hear from you. The problem comes when girls put out and then are like, Oh, do you think he'll call? Then they get really insecure about it and play stupid head games that the guy isn't even aware is happening. And once you get to that point, the point where you care WAY TOO MUCH about one stupid guy, and an even stupider phone call, then you need to walk away. Because if you've spent more than 30 minutes thinking about it, then you probably shouldn't do it.

Um... FYI for everyone. This was posted about a month ago and she wrote this a few days after: http://teamsugar.com/2816117

They never slept together, they just hung out.

Thanks, Fallen...I am still wondering what happened to them. Interesting discussions, though.

why do they (the sugar network) repost this stuff?

are they running out of material to post here? this is one of the ways I relax after work, reading these posts. DOnt want to read the same ones over and over.

I can totally relate to this girl because I just had something like this happen to me. Except it was worse; I got too drunk and made a mistake by sleeping with this guy right away. Several days later we talked on the phone (I called him) and he told me he was mad at me because he sent me over 30 text msgs and I never answered them. I told him that my phone does not recieve texts (it's the truth). So after that he would call rarely, talking about how much he likes me and stuff like that. I don't believe him and I told him that straight out. I told him if he really liked me like he said he would have made a better effort to contact me. The last time we talked he mentioned going out to dinner together; I told him fine. And of course he doesn't call after that. So I deleted his number and will not answer if he calls again because I honestly don't think he is interested in me. I am too old for this mind games; it's either you like me or you don't (it's that simple). And if we ever run into each other again I WILL NEVER HAVE SEX WITH HIM AGAIN, he will never have me under his booty call column. I don't deny feeling hurt because I did and I did wait by the phone but that is just an emotion and like a bad cold it will go away. My point is that no matter how much you like someone there will always be other people and there's no point in waisting time on someone who is not sure about you. If this guy really liked this girl he would've made sure he had her number before they parted ways. I think she should just move on (and like I said before) think of the emotions she has for him as a temorary illness that will go away and she will be happy and back to normal!