If you were put in a situation like this, how would you handle it?
Money is on the minds of most people these days, and while it's on yours too, it's not something you like to overthink. One of your friends, however, can't seem to talk about much else. It seems like every time you're together, she's asking how much things cost, how much your new shoes set you back, or how you can afford the trip you're taking with your husband that you've both been saving for. While you understand that many people are struggling right now, you don't think it's fair that she's making you feel guilty for the way you live your life. She's a dear friend and you don't want to make her feel uncomfortable, but her behavior is starting to affect your friendship, so tell me, how would you handle this?
3suisses
Emanuela Passeri
Office
I'd tell her to stop. It's my money, I should be able to spend it the way I want to without feeling guilty about it by someone else.
1Hmmm I don't think I've ever known someone who asks constantly how I can afford this...or afford that, just seems odd to me. And I would never question any one I know...I think if they're your friends you pretty much know around what they'd make, if they have a dual income or family helping them with bills so why you NEED to ask?
2if she was a true dear friend, i'd tell it like it is: i saved up for this and frankly, while i know the economy is bad, i don't like to overthink the money thing so lay off
3My ex-bf was this way! Everything revolved around money, and no matter what I said or did, it wasnt up to his standards... one of the many reasons why he's the ex.
Seriously, it drove me nuts - especially when he didnt take his own advice.
4I don't mind telling people how much I pay for stuff but if I did, I'd just tell her I can't remember or 'not much' etc. I'd just be vague.
5In general, I have no issues talking about money with friends. I think I'd only be annoyed if I felt like she/he was judging me or was indeed trying to make me feel guilty...I experienced similar comments from a few people when I was in high school, about how I was "spoiled" and such because I had nice things. I would get frustrated because everyone's financial situation is different and passing judgment because of it is sh*tty.
6I can't imagine any of my friends doing that. It's just inappropriate.
I would probably say something like 'oh, I've been saving really hard for this' or something.
Or, alternatively, just say 'you're right. I probably shouldn't have bought those shoes. Now let's talk about something else!"
7I was taught as a kid that asking people what they pay for things is extremely rude, at the same level as asking their age or weight.
Next time she asks you what you paid for something, do this.... pause for a couple of seconds, tilt your head slightly and ask quizzically, "Why do you want to know?" and then wait silently for the answer. If she answers you, just say "oh" and change the subject without answering. It only takes doing this a couple of times, and these kind of boors usually get the hint.
If she is beyond rude and persists in asking, just simply say "That's personal and I don't want to answer". It's less rude than saying "none of your business", but will get the point across.
8Im so sick and tired of talking about the economy and how much in hell it is.
9My friend used to make me feel guilty for having money but I saved and it wasn't my fault I had more than her. If anything friends should be happy when you're being smart with your money. Right now I have more than my friends but when the subject comes up I try to give advice and maybe make a joke to lighten the mood. If it ever makes me feel really bad I say something or just stop hanging out with them.
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