I did lol!
And over 2 years later we are still together and very happy

I definitely think it depends on what you want out of the relationship. Good time vs long good time.

I think it depends on the people. If you are so attracted to some one you just want to rip their pants off after the first date then go for it.

I say Dont do it if you want that relationship to last. no one wants an easy mark.

Caterpillar Girl, I think it's unfair to judge in that perspective. Like I said, my boyfriend and I had sex the first night we went out together but it's been two year already and we live together have a dog together and couldn't be happier I think you are entitled to do whatever YOU want, and you shouldn't be judged on your decisions that you make Just because you have sex the first date, does not mean you are easy or a slut.

^ Caty does have a good point though. Not everyone is like that, but some guys...do consider a chick to be "easy" if they're willing to give it up in one day. No guy wants to be with a woman really if they're that easy...kinda indicates that she'll give it up to anyone. But that's debatable. Everyone's different so it kinda is rolling the dice. Depends on what the guy things of you. Then again...kinda depends on how much he's into you. Had sex, move on...-_^.

I feel as though the whole idea of not having sex on the first date is such an American hang-up. I made a comment to my husband a few weeks ago about how if I had slept with him after our first date he would never have called me back, and he looked at me completely dumbfounded and said, "Why not?!" I tried to explain the whole girls-that-put-out-on-the-first-date-are-easy etc. argument, and he had no idea what I was talking about. I did an informal poll of my male friends here in France, and they all said the same thing. Their take is that if they get along well with a girl on the first date AND she enjoys sex, they've pretty much hit the jackpot.

Everyone is different- personally I think if I want you that badly now than I will want you a few weeks from then. I like to have an emotional bond before I do that. I will say that if you do this- know that you are taking a risk. The guy may not be as into you and if you can accept that and not beat yourself up for having sex on the first date, then you are fine. I have yet to really meet a girl who can deal with that though.

OMG cotedazur YES YES YES! You are so right with that!

I agree with Lovely. It may of not been our FIRST date but it was early on and we've been together just about 5 yrs!!!!

One of my best friends had sex on the first date. She's been with the guy — now her husband — for six years. I don't think there are any blanket statements we can make. It all depends on the people involved.

Why is it okay for a man to be able to have sex on the first date but if the woman does she's "easy?" Sometimes I feel like we've come so far but other times we haven't.

If you have a connection that will sustain a relationship I dont think sex will either make it work or not.

well like greg said, the relationships that last from those first night flings "are the exception not the rule" and I agree.

Lovely. "i say" means "my opinion" and therefore dont take it as a judgment on you personally.

just the fact that people are citing relationships that started with sex on the first date tells you; it's not very common. people think what they know of you is all of you. so when you have sex with someone you hardly know they think that's your pattern, that's new. it's not a good idea for many reasons; std's and your personal safety included.

try this, try asking yourself "is this someone i would give my bank atm card and pin number to? or is this someone i would leave alone in my apartment for several hours?" if not don't even think about putting yourself into a vulnerable position with that person.

It's not my forte. When I was single, I was very strict about who I was going to sleep with. We had to be dating exclusively for at least 4 months and got tested together. When you have friends who's contracted various diseases over the years, one contracting HIV... it makes you super careful.

I would never have sex on a first date, much less a 4th or 5th date.

I went on my first date with my now husband, and we left the movie early to come have a have sex. Something about him made me fell it was right, and it was.

I completely agree with Bella! Totally depends on the individual people involved and what their expectations are.

Even if I wanted more or less out of a relationship I just don't see myself ever under any circumstances sleeping with someone on a first date.

GScott: Some girls think a guy is "easy" if he "puts out" on the first date too.
It is such a double standard. But girls and guys can think the same exact things, some people are ok with sex the first date and don't think twice and some aren't ok with it. That's all. And all the guys that act like the fact that they just had sex with a girl and now she is easy and they are perfectly fine are just stupid.
How two people have sex together and only one of them comes out "easy" I will never understand...

^ Oh very much so, I agree with you, I'm not just limiting it to the concept of women (my views/comments go for both men and women). Really, I think the concept and timing of sex depends on the individuals. Everyone has a timing of when to do it and when not to. And believe it or not, everyone's judgmental on some level, so what you do when it concerns the mater can either make or break things. Thread lightly. (Really...I probably wouldn't want to continue something with a woman who would give it up to me so easily just meeting me...just from my own personal experience...it's just not what I want....and no I don't think you're a "bad person" if you do..it's just not for me).

And like likety split's point...for me I probably wouldn't have sex with someone I don't trust with my ATM, Bank, alone in my apartment, laptop, or whatever. There's only been one person ever that I've been that lcose to. That's just my values on it all.

I know people [both girls and guys] who have had and do have sex on the first date, but I just wouldn't. I have no idea what said person has/doesn't have...it doesn't make sense for me to put my health and life in that kind of jeopardy. But for other people, it's worth it.

GScott: ^^Ok, I was just wondering since you only used the woman as the easy one in your first post. And I am with you that I wouldn't really want to be with someone who gave it up the first time either.

I've said this before on this site, but I will say it again....for every person who posts that they are blissfully happy with the person they slept with on the first date, there are 100 girls waiting for that phone call that will never come, and wondering if they went too far too fast. It may not be fair, but it is reality.

If you are in it just for sex, and honestly don't care if the guy ever calls you again, fine, go for it. If you are looking for a relationship, I think slower is better...what is the rush? I don't get why women jump into bed with men they don't even know, taking risks on multiple levels.

I don't see the big deal about having sex on the first date or not? If you want to, do it. If not, don't. If a man's going to disrespect me for that, he's probably not the sort of man I want to be with anyway. End of. Certainly you wouldn't see a man worrying about this.

Just another success example here. It was "technically" our first date, second time we'd been out together... next week is our three year anniversary!

Personally, I would not jump into a physical relationship with someone I didn't know, but I absolutely loathe the double standard being discussed here. A girl is "easy" if she puts out on the first date...so what does that make the fellow who obliged? A man is the only one capable of passing judgment? Ladies we can all have our personal preferences, without subscribing to such archaic notions about women's sexuality. We are not doing ourselves any favors by judging women who have different preferences than us.

And someone remind me...what makes Greg Behrendt the expert on sex and relationships? Does he have a Ph.D in Sociology from Harvard, has he done extensive research with a host of different studies to write so conclusively about men and women?

I don't know about sex on a first date. But I love that book!

Me and my boyfriend had sex on the first date but we'd known each other for like 2 years and had been waiting to rip each others clothes off the whole time anyway.

You can't make blanket statements - I would be a little more cautious about having sex with a total/near enough total stranger on the first date. Too much risk regarding STD's or pregnancy.

I own that little bitty book Greg wrote & I guess it's okay. It does give a glimpse as to how men are. As far as the subject matter at hand, here's a scenario for ya: What if you talked on the phone for months before the first date & felt like you knew them? What if you hadn't been intimate for a VERY long time & were strongly attracted to the person in a number of ways? Does that make you a flewzy?

You girls dont seem to understand.... Woman are different from men - not better or worse, but different. The reason why there is a "double standard" is because naturally the woman is supposed to wait and seek out a man that has traits desirable to her and therefore, her future offspring. If a woman sleeps with just whomever comes her way, she is acting against the best interest of herself and her future children because she is not at all being selective. Men can have sex with more woman and have it be OK because they by nature have to try and get their genetics out there as much as possible in order to have future offspring at all and carry on their family line. Its all basic and instinctual and just part of our human nature.

Genetically we are different, our purposes by nature slightly differ, but when it all boils down our moral values should compliment one another. Who goes to say that a woman is easy who gives it up on the first date. I am a strong believer in going for what you want... I don't have any sensational stories about miraculous encouters that have bloomed into marriage. But I do however, have a nice relationship going. Counter arguement... I have a couple of first date encounters that didn't prosper, but it merely depends on the mutual MORAL DEVELOPEMENT of each party. If you both decide that you want to have sex on the first date, go for it... if you want a long term relationship and you still want to have sex on the first date, then you should express yourself. Let him know that you don't just want to shack up and move on. Your concerns/thoughts should count for something. If he doesn't agree then maybe you should reconsider.

Genetically we are different, our purposes by nature slightly differ, but when it all boils down our moral values should compliment one another. Who goes to say that a woman is easy who gives it up on the first date. I am a strong believer in going for what you want... I don't have any sensational stories about miraculous encounters that have bloomed into marriage. But I do however, have a nice relationship going. Counter argument... I have a couple of first date encounters that didn't prosper, but it merely depends on the mutual MORAL DEVELOPMENT of each party. If you both decide that you want to have sex on the first date, go for it... if you want a long term relationship and you still want to have sex on the first date, then you should express yourself. Let him know that you don't just want to shack up and move on. Your concerns/thoughts should count for something. If he doesn't agree then maybe you should reconsider.

Good point Shydate, but are you really going to have such a deep conversation on a first date? "By the way.... I need to know how serious you are.....What are your morals?" (For me, I usually know these answers or have an idea BEFORE the first date.) Why do I have the feeling that if you were to actually have this conversation, he would be telling you "what you want to hear" so that he gets what he wants? Maybe not all guys are like that. I suppose the best approach is just take your time & time will tell.