Dear Sugar--

One of my friends has been going through a rough time lately. In the past year, she has repeatedly cheated on her boyfriend (including getting involved with a married man) and fallen into what I think is a bad case of depression.

It's clear that she needs some sort of guidance or help, but I'm not sure how to go about doing it. She knows she is unhappy and she knows she is a mess, but she doesn't seem willing to really change anything about the situation she is in. Compounding this problem is that no one outside of our group of friends knows about her problems. To everyone else, she seems to have it all together and to be happy.

I'm getting frustrated trying to help her. Any advice on how to handle the situation?

--Frustrated Friend

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Frustrated Friend--

Your friend is very lucky to have you to support her, but being the only one helping her through these tough times is a lot to handle. Carrying all her problems on your shoulders is just too much! While you may think your other friends don't know she is struggling, chances are they do. Maybe what she needs is more support from her family and friends -- knowing that so many other people care about her might make her feel more secure and loved.

It seems like she is seeking a lot of outside attention to fulfill something inside of her that is missing so I would advise her to see a therapist asap. In the meantime, encourage her to do things that make her feel good about herself. Why not get out and exercise together, or go shopping for cute outfits, or volunteer with kids or at an animal shelter, anything to help get her back on her feet. Your friend needs a little reminder about how awesome life can be, and how lucky she is to be in this world.

Whatever you decide to do, don't do it alone. We all need help - even friends who are helping other friends.

Source [1]