Why did your heart hit the floor when you found out your ex got engaged - because you're human. Geez, cut yourself some slack. Just because you start to love someone new doesn't mean that all of the feelings that you ever had for anyone else in your past will immediately disappear.

totally agree singlegirl. people in your past aren't people who never existed.

I was pretty destroyed when I found out my ex was engaged, even though I'm in a loving relationship as well. It's totally human; it happens and you really shouldn't even worry about feeling that way.

If anything, I think of all the bad things about my ex and how I'm so glad that I'm not the one to whom he's engaged--that poor, poor girl.

i dated my last bf for 3.5 years and it the midst of it, heard that a good friend of mine, whom i lost my virginity to, was getting married. my heart sank, as well. i guess maybe subconsciously, i always thought we could have had something and that opportunity was pulled out from underneath me-- despite the fact that i was madly in love w/ my bf at the time... just human nature, i suppose.

I was really just kind of surprised when I found out my ex was getting married- mostly bc after me (we talked about marriage and kids) his attitude when a friend of his got married was "another one bites the dust". We are on good terms and I told him I was engaged, I would have invited him and his fiance to the wedding, but she would have freaked out to even know we are still in touch (if you can call an email or text like once a year "in touch"), I dont know what he told her about me, but she has a HUGE problem with me for some reason.

Forgive! It's human nature to want to be doing better than your ex. But you'll get there one day! Take your time

SINgleGIRL great point. I have two ex's who have got engaged and since married, both felt the need to tell me. Umm okay. My heart hardly hit the floor but I can see why it would bother some people, they were once a part of your life.

I think it is completely normal. In my last relationship it was my gf at the time that told me my (then) ex was engaged but it made no difference to me. However, in my current relationship when I found out from a mutual friend that my ex is engaged it did hurt.

I agree...I think this is pretty normal.

This is forgivable. It's just a natural response for a lot of people. This was someone who you used to be close to.

What's there to forgive? It's normal, you loved him, maybe still do, it doesn't usually fade for everyone no matter how much time passes. I guess as long as you know what you want, and you're happy with your life, you'll accept things the way they are now. It's not like you cheated or something. But just don't go tellin' your new love about how you felt. ~_^

I wish my ex ceased to exist the moment we broke up and a year later when I came across a picture of him holding hands with another girl on the beach, I took to my bed with gin. I'm fine now with a great guy.

It's totally normal.

you being upset doesnt mean you want him back or anything like that. it just means that you are upset over the fact that he is in another stage of his life with someone else, while you have not yet reached that stage. you just wanted to be the first thats all.

Maybe you weren't over him as much as you thought. After I broke up with my ex, I was thrilled when he told me some time later that he was dating a really great girl. I was happy because I wanted him to be happy. I personally feel (in my honest and personal opinion) that if you can't be happy for them (and not feel crushed) then maybe you still have some hang ups you need to take care of.
And (in MHO) if you wanted do be the one that got married first (just for the sake of doing it first) then you have MORE issues like being a little childish that you need to address.

Perhaps what came up were feelings of possessiveness - and the feeling that if your ex has moved on to the point of committing to another, that somehow means he's completely forgotten about you and the time you spent together.

The time you spent together was a chance for him to grow and know better about what he wants - and if he's found it, great! And if he hasn't changed, then maybe there's nothing for you to feel possessive over, anyway!

Think about the relationship you have now and how fulfilled you feel being with the one you love - you'll realize that he deserves that feeling too. And no, he hasn't forgotten you.

It's normal I agree with everyone else. Forgivable.

I agree GScott86

i couldnt agree any more!!! its terribly hard with exes. What does it mean when you still get upset about him and a new girl! But here's the best advice - things didn't work for a reason and no matter what you think couldve or shouldve happened...it didnt. SO dont kill yourself for being upset, know that things in the past happened, but keep them there and remember theres a reason it didn't work.

I FEEL YOU.
I WOULD BE UPSET TO FIND OUT IF MY EX WAS ALREADY ENGAGE. IT WOULD HURT. AND YET I AM HAPPY WITH MY NEW BF.
YOUR HUMAN AND YOU HAVE THE TENDENCY TO FEEL FOR HIM. THAT IS ALL.

Ok you think that's weird? I'm happily married with two beautiful children. I believe I have the most amazing husband and no one else has a chance just kidding but just to show you how much i love my husband. My best friend happens to be a guy with whom 11 years ago i fooled around with. Not slept, but fooled around for about a month. that didn't work, but he became the best friend I ever found in ANYONE! he is also my childrens godfather and my husband and he like eachother a lot. He met a girl only one year ago who is 7 years older than he is, got her pregnant and married her. She is very pretty to me, so nice and I absolutely love her, but when I found out they were getting married I had some very conflicting feelings. I love him so much and want him to be happy but I guess some part of me was hoping he would always be my second at hand. If any one can tell me what tha's all about that would be great. I highly doubt that i have any loving feelings since in 12 years of knowing eachother we always dated someone else and saved the details for ourselves. But if you think you need forgiving, honey let me tell you, go about your life. That's called being human

Forgiving yourself is the hardest thing in the world. We can accept others flaws a lot easier than we can accept our own. We're all the same. Anything to do with ex's just plain sucks. Something about feeling easily replaced hurts like no other. But the truth is, you were never replaced, just like he was never replaced in your heart, either. Things just happen...and usually there's no one to blame. Guilt makes us human. Just because hearing he's engaged struck a deep nerve doesn't mean you don't love and want to be with the man you're with, it means that we all carry the pain of our past with us. I wish I was apart of the few that are able to accept themselves so easily. His name might always give you sick butterflies in your stomach, but if you make a list about the things you hated about him and burn it with your girlfriend over wine when your boyfriend's not home...it'll definitly give ya a couple giggles. It gets better!!!!