Doggie Diary Entry:
- 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
- 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
- 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
- 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
- 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
- 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
- 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
- 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
- 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
- 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
- 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Cat Diary Entry:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . .
D&G
Sofa Workshop
Energie
Hahahaha..
So true.
1I'm sure it will make as popular as Hitler, but I hate cats. Firstly, I'm allergic. Second, it's the attitude. They look you up and down like, "Pizza again? Take a look at yourself in the mirror woman, have you never heard of a piece of fruit?" They also bite and scratch constantly, even when they pretty much like you.
My neighbor who moved had two cats. One I never saw. She said it was "shy", so either the cat was incredibly shy or a figment of her imagination, I'm not sure which. The other cat was an enormous red cat named Simon. I went over to her apartment and sat on the sofa only to have Simon grab my arm with his claws and sink his teeth into my hand. She's like, "Isn't he cute?" Um, no. So, I try to shake him off and he only holds on tighter -- I can't even lift my arm, this cat weighs about 20 lbs. I try to pull him off with the other hand and then he just grabs that hand. Meanwhile, she's doing nothing but commenting about how much he likes me (crazy woman). He and I shared a look in which I said, "Just wait until your owner goes to the bathroom."
2Awww, junebrug. You're just not meeting the right cats! (But purr-haps I'm biased.)
3LOL - Ya gotta love it!
I vote:
4So I have the same problem with cats I have with dating, is that what you're saying, Giggle?
5This is precisely why I'm a dog person. I appreciate their enthusiasm.
6Too funny. I have two cats but am a "dog" and "cat person."
7I love both, but I prefer cats! It's fun to watch them lose their cool when something excites them
(This is adorable, btw)
8love it! love the pictures you added with it!
9I want a little dumb dog who's happy with everything. Even happy chasing his on little tail!
10so true...lol
11LOL!! Sooo True!
12Our dog would be write just like the same diary!
How funny!
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