If you were put in a situation like this, how would you handle it?
You've recently become friendly with a co-worker at your new law firm. She's been incredibly welcoming and you're sure that she'll soon be a friend outside of work, too. Over the weekend, you bump into each other while perusing your neighborhood shops. You're both headed the same direction so you decide to hit the next boutique together. While flipping through the racks, you hear your co-worker ask the sales associate for help, and to your disbelief, she's treating her like a second-class citizen! She proceeds to boss her around, demanding she pull clothes for her to try on, only to leave them in a heap on the dressing room floor.
When you walked out of the store — empty handed — she acted like nothing had happened, but you are horrified by her behavior. She asks you to continue shopping with her but you just can't bear to witness her rude and disrespectful behavior again. You don't want this to affect your relationship in the office, so how would you handle it?
Debut
Colline
Marithe' F. Girbaud
Tell her I have to get going soon because I promised my sister I would stop by and see her for some family stuff...
1I agree aimeeb. I'd do the same thing. Then after she left, I'd probably go apologize to the sales associate.
2ditto to the ladies above and if she ever invited me out again I would make up some excuse until she got the hint, I'd be polite and still be buddy buddy with her in the office but no chance of anymore public meetings.
3i'd be surprised that she could treat a sales associate that way but be nice to everyone else in her daily dealings, like people at work and work-related activities....so if i saw it in the office, i'd call her on it, but otherwise i'd try to minimize my time spent with her outside of work...frankly, someone who can do that is not a super nice person on the inside so i'd watch my back too
4"can't bear to witness her rude and disrespectful behavior", that made me laugh a little. i'm not the sales associate's mommy, she's a grownup and she can stand up for herself. people aren't paid to take abuse and if the behavior bothers her she needs to speak up. i'm not my co-workers mother either, so i would just excuse myself and not go shopping with her again.
i think it's interesting that in the very recent past people on here have posted that if they saw one half of a couple they knew "cheating" they would say nothing about it to anyone, but we're supposed to ride to the rescue of all that is good and decent in the person that sells clothes.
5I don't make excuses for people, so I wouldn't apologize to the sales associate on my friend's behalf.
Also, since she is a new friend, I might try to ask her questions about her shopping habits before I judge. Just because she didn't buy anything during that trip, doesn't mean she hasn't spent hundreds of dollars in that store before.
6I'm a pretty blunt person, so I'd tactfully tell the woman "I'm sorry, but I used to BE that sales lady that you treated so rudely. I can't abide people that treat people as less than just because of their station in life. Have a nice day shopping." And walk away.
7If I'm really uncomfortable by her attitude I will make up an excuse and leave
8I would tell her how she made an enormous a$$ out of herself and then make it my business to never go shopping with her again......
9Finish shopping, and try avoiding shopping with her ever again. It'd obviously create tension at work if you mentioned her off duty demeanor. Just try to separate work life from personal life. And make work at least happy
and keep personal life personal 
(I like smileys ^_^).
10I have no patience for people who treat others in service positions so rudely. I would make excuses and never hang out with her again. Because she is a coworker I would not mention it to her but I would file it away for reference.
11That kind of stuff is a pet peeve of mine; I'd probably ask her (as nicely as I could) why she'd felt the need to treat another human being so poorly for no reason.
12I would make an excuse to leave, and then just not hang out with her outside the office. Maybe she was having a bad day or something? But still, if you're going to hang out with her, invite others along so it won't be so awkward.
13I'd just make an excuse and leave. There's really nothing you can do, she's rude and I would not try to fix her.
I agree with skigurl
14well...i ask sales associates to pull things for me all the time but i'm not rude about it. it's their job! i used to be a sales associate and we were TRAINED TO DO THAT. you honestly shouldn't have to ask. boutiques are meant to provide that customer service. she shouldn't be rude but i don't think it's wrong to ask a boutique worker to pull clothes, it's an expected service.
15I would get away from her ASAP. If she is treating someone like they are beneath her just because they are doing a retail job I don't want to be around her. My close friends don't do it, and I don't enjoy watching it. I wouldn't say anything directly about her behavior unless she was someone I was close enough to that I wanted to hang out with her outside of work.
16I wouldn't go shopping with her anymore, but still try to be "friendly" around the office.
17i agree with everyone.i wouldn't go shoppin or anywhere outside work with her,but still try to be "friendly" around the office.
18If you don't like to go shop with her, then make up an excuse and leave and don't go next time either. Definitely stay on friendly terms with her because she hasn't been rude to you.
People's treatment to salespeople differ. I try on clothes and leave them in the dressing room and I don't see a problem with that because it's the salesperon's job to fold clothes and put them back in the right place, not my role as a customer to do so. Actually, one time, the salesperson handed a coat to me and helped me try it on and when I did not want to buy it, I just gave it back to her. However, one of my friend pointed out to me that since I wasn't buying the coat, I should've had the courtesy to put it back myself instead of giving it to the salesperson. I disagreed with that because I felt that it was her job, not because I was looking down on her or being rude. However, as you can tell, people's opinions differ and you shouldn't judge her too harshly unless she was actually being rude. Not being nice does not mean being rude.
I don't know if you're being too sensitive towards your coworker's behaviour or if she is actually being a really rude person. I think it may be a mix of both, so just avoid those situations with her but don't think she's a bad person for it because perhaps she just has never realized it or doesn't do it on purpose. This is especially true if you haven't noticed her unpleasant attitude in the office because I find that people who are rude are pretty consistent with their rudeness (ex. she most likely also treat a secretary or someone who is in a position beneath her in the law firm in the same way).
19i agree with missbecca - unless there is some other rude behaviour that dear sugar was thinking of, i don't see any problem with asking a sales person to pull me clothes. and when i do, i make a special effort to NOT feel guilted into buying something just because they helped me (this post made it seem like it was terrible to leave the store "empty handed" after getting help). it was 10 minutes of their time - but it might be the $$$ equivalent of 3 (or more) days of work for me!
20Anyone who treats someone is is serving them (a sales person, waiter, etc.) badly should raise a big red flag for you. Most likely it is not an isolated event and you look bad by being associated with the rude person. One of my friends used to act a little like this and that was one of the main reasons I stopped hanging out with her. It was embarassing.
21I agree with Fried and Knowsbest. Asking someone to pull clothes for you isn't being rude. Sales people are supposed to help you. That's why stores ask who was helping you at the register... it is their job. You shouldn't be rude when asking, but asking is not rude. Also I feel weird putting clothes back if they need to be folded. A salesperson always rushes up behind me and refolds or rushes to take the item from me.
If you don't want to spend time with someone, politely make an excuse. Don't mess with office relationships if you don't have to.
22I work as a manager for a store, and we do all of the same things the associates do. I was a sales associate for 2 years prior to that. We've seen everything! I wouldn't consider someone asking us to pull things for them as rude, just more high maintenance than most customers. However, leaving clothes on the floor....? Never ok.
I cannot tell you how many 10 year old children hang the clothes back on the hangers and how few adults do the same. You don't need to put them away, most stores have a rack for unwanted clothes. If not you can leave them in the rooms, but hang them please. They were hung for you. You didn't pick out those jeans inside out on the floor. All we would like is for you to hang them in the room when you're done.
We don't expect you to put your things away, you might not remember where you got it, and we'd much rather put it in the right place the first time, than spend all night moving things from the wrong place back. That being said, nobody wants to buy clothes that were inside out on the floor of a fitting room that people stand on in their bare feet or snowy shoes all day.
My point is, these are not your clothes. Treat them as if your friend was the next person to buy them. If you drop something, don't look around to see if I'm looking at you in order to pick it up. Because the next customer is going to drive over it with her stroller before I might see it. Or a group of people are not going to notice it and trample all over it. It happens every day. I cannot speak for everyone but I wouldn't want rub my clothes all over someone's stroller wheels or the bottom of someone's shoes. All I can do is dust it off and hang it back up for the next person to try on and buy. It's rude not only to the employees but to other customers.
The clothes you treat like crap might be and often DO become someone's birthday gift. Think about it.
23I would probably jokingly ask if she had had a bad experience in that store, something like 'Gee, you seemed pretty angry back there - have you had a bad experience there or something?' and if she didn't have some kind of excuse for her behaviour I'd point out that I'd worked in service before (in a pointed way) and then drop it.
I would def. not appologise, but it would raise a flag for me, you can really judge someone's true personality by how they treat customer service.
It's not that she demanded help in a store (which is reasonable) but the way in which she may have gone about it that is offensive and unnecessary. Does that make sense?
24That would probably be a deal breaker for me, but that's because I work retail and I've been there- the associate who is treated rudely. The woman asking the sales associate for things isn't rude, but possibly the tone she used could have been taken as rude. Also, don't throw things on the floor! They don't go there, we get yelled at if someone trips, no you. No one wants to buy something that's dirty and nasty.
25I'm shocked at the responses, because it seems so many people would be so kind to the poor sales associate but truth is, is that most people aren't. Yes, they get paid to be there, but they don't get paid well and you could have easily spent more than they make in a day, so back off. Do I go to your work, throw stuff on the floor and order you around all the while with the most attitude I can muster? If not, then act like a human being and treat people with the respect you want to be treated with.
I'd bawl her out in the store about it. I yell at my own mother when she's rude to the sales assistant.
26Granted I am a sales assistant so bawling out rude customers is a very nice experience when I'm not on the clock.
This happened to me once. My friend was getting married, and she flipped out at the people at Moore's. After she stormed out of the store, looking proud because she had just bullied them into giving her something off and shrieking at everyone in the store for 15 minutes, I ended up apologizing to the clerk for her actions. I heard after (a guy I knew was working that day and hid in the back during this) that the poor clerk was pretty upset as it was his second day.
27I haven't really spoken to her since, and I still feel bad for the poor guy. I'm not always the most polite customer, but I try to remind myself that it's not the clerks fault that I'm having a bad day or they don't have my size. But, when I'm in the store, waiting for help and they're talking about so-and-so's boyfriend? Then I get a little snippy.
my mom used to always say -- "When people show you who they are, believe them." just know that your friend is capable of treating people this way and make your own judgments.
28I've worked in retail... I have had people do this to me.
Yes, pulling things for customers is what we're supposed to do.
Asking us to get you something is fine, however to take an attitude, and be flat out rude is not fine.
How would you like it if somebody came into your place of work and took their bad day out on you?
It pretty much ruins the rest of my day...
I think the worst is when people want something and they can't get it in the way they want it because it's not our company's policy to do so. So, their displeasure for this now aimed at me, and telling me what a stupid this and that they think I am, when I don't make the rules.
I would make a comment to my new friend that I think she might be coming off a little harsh. (If she is offended by my honesty we shouldn't be friends if I can't tell her the truth.)
29Then after being in the associates place I would wait until we were done shopping and tell the associate that they were incredibly helpful and that I was thankful for their work. It's not my responsibility to apologize for my friend's choices, but I couldn't just sit there without saying anything.
haha. I agree JuliaHalpert!!
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