Nah because I wouldn't want to be judged on mine...

Nope.....The majority of people have one and it would be pointless to let something like that bother me.

i said it matters, but only to a degree
if i had found out that my boyfriend was the kind of guy who'd slept with 100 people in the past, then i'd judge him differently....thankfully when i found out, his number was the same as mine, so we're "equal" and i have no issues with it...but yes, a high number would bother me

i've learned it's best just not to ask. i know i've made some decisions in my past that i'm not particularly proud of and wouldn't want to be judged for, so in my mind, it's best just not to know.

I dunno...I lucked out with my bf. He has slept with less girls then I have guys...but the onyl thing is I just found out that he slept with my friends sister AND got her preggers. I know it was a one night thing and meant nothing @ the time...but still I wish he would have told me!

yes, every partner is a potential exposure. plus, at some point (and i realize its a different number for everyone) you start to wonder......

I just want honesty... But as long as there are no stds or children from a lot of past partners then I'm okay with the number. I would prefer a reasonable number of partners like less than 50, but I wouldn't end a good relationship because of the past.

It's none of my business how many people he's slept with. What IS my business is STD's, STI's, whether he has regular check-ups and kids, if he has any and how many and how they were concieved, accidentally or on purpose and how well he knew the woman first.

Nope, doesnt matter. Everyone has a past but that doesnt mean it will affect their future. I'd prefer he got his player days out earlier then have them cropping up after we've tied the knot and him think he's missing out on something.

It matters in the sense that it should be something you can talk about with one another (if you want to know), without purposely hiding anything -- but it shouldn't matter to the point where it bothers you, if the person isn't hiding something from you.

It would be hypocritical if I judged some one for how many sexual partners they had. I'm not too proud of my number, and I wouldn't want some one to judge me for my past.

Weather or not he still has feelings for women he has slept with and weather or not he is disease free is important to me.

I wouldn't say I would judge someone, but it tells me a bit about what kinds of choices they've made.

Years back, I was sort of dating this guy; or rather, I thought we were dating and he thought we were just screwing around. Long story with lots of tears. Anyway, at one point he told me how many people he'd slept with and it was more than I'd even kissed. After we weren't dating/sleeping together anymore, I looked back on that and I found it very illuminating.

It wasn't that he'd slept with X number of people that was troubling, but that number in the context of how he treated me and our "relationship" said a lot about how he thought of women.

It matter in the sense of diseases, the higher the number the higher the risk, and also in the fact that if he has a big number it probably shows that he does not takes sex serious,and that he is unstable. And it also depends in our relationship; if we have a stable relationship and I know he loves me and I love him (and he is free of diseases) then it won't matter his pass is his pass.

I prescribe to don't ask, don't tell in this case. STD's, kids, etc. is infomration I need to know. I'd rather not feel jealous or uncomfortable based on something so trivial.

It matters. I don't really want to be with a guy who is a virgin and I don't want to be with a guy who has had an obscene amount of partners. For me there is a fine line between complete lack of experience and too much experience. I would rather be with someone with a similar background to mine and I agree it is something that you should feel comfortable discussing with your significant other.

I can't say I would be comfortable with a very high number. Not that I would judge, but knowing that he used to sleep with a different girl every week would be a complete turn off.

I've only been with one person, so yes, it would bother me. I know many others have been with more than that and that is something I will have to accept. However, if it's a really high number, I would think differently of the person based on my morals. Sex is a very big deal to me. I don't do it with just anyone. I don't want someone who as been around the block a few times because they think it's "just sex".

I think when it comes to sexual business it's always going to be my business. While I wouldn't expect someone to keep score of how many people and how many times. Like MyOwnRules said, STD's is always going to be my business. I should be able to decide if I want an STD or not right? And like MondayMoss said...I kind of don't want to open the door and hear "Is mommy home?" -> WTF o_O would be my own response. Otherwise, the past is the past and it should remain in the past. I use to consider sex as super sacred, and while I consider it something special that I wouldn't just do with anyone unless I was committed and truly love them, I'm not really into flat out judging people (although I have my moments...depending on my mood).

it only matters to the extent that he was irresponsible. I require all my partners to give a clean bill of health before anything happens anyway (I do it too). I would be weirded out by someone who had like 50-100 partners at my age, but only because I wonder about what those choices meant about their mental health. Generally I've been lucky since all my boyfriends have had around the same number as me, give or take a few.

I think the number matters. I think valancyjane and juicebox07 said it very well. It's not just about the literal number. It shows how people think. I wouldn't not be with a guy just because he had a really high number and that made uncomfortable. I wouldn't be with him because his really high number probably means he doesn't think of sex as something special and meaningful with a person he loves.

everyone that the person he slept with, technically- he slept with.. i dont want any STDs.. almost EVERYONE has one these days.. disgusting.

I'm glad that the gals on dearsugar have informed me that no one's view on sex ever changes or evolves! Apparently, if I think one way about sex when I'm 19, I'll think that way when I'm 29, too. That's what all of the comments saying "if he has a high number, he must not think of sex as something special" are implying. People evolve and grow up, and to pretend otherwise is extremely immature.

I would never judge someone on that number. let me just put it this way..I don't have any room to talk! But seriously, a trusting relationship and clean bill of health is all i require. no judgmental background checks here!

i don't think it matters. not that much anyway

To me, "sexual past" is more than just the number of partners. Maybe he's only had 5 partners, but what if 4 of them were on the side when he had a girlfriend? To me, it does matter, and I do ask. It depends on age aswell. Someone who is 21 and has had as many partners as someone who is 35 says something too. The thing that matters most though, is that they have proof of a recent test proving that they're clean.

It does to me. I'm not trying to catch anything from anyone. With my guy, before we slept together and we and got tested. I'm not a prude or anything, I just rather the smart about it. When I was in college I one of the organizations I was part off did free STD screening each year and I'm still scarred from the data that we always got back.

Unfortunately, it does matter to me. I'm in a committed relationship with someone who LOTS of partners before we met. Part of me wonders if he is over the "sowing his oats" phase or if one day he will want to have the thrill of being a manwh*re back. Sometimes I get upset that he was so indiscriminate with his body. And sometimes I wonder how much our own intimacy means much to him. I love him, but definitely adds to feelings of insecurity and discomfort. In retrospect, I wouldn't have pressed him so much for the info.

I'm the one with the higher number. I can count them on one hand, but it's a few more than he's had...and it matters a lot to him.
I agree with valancy jane, in that if your past reveals a pattern of recklessness or nonchalance, like cheating, hooking up with random people, not using protection, having kids scattered around, etc. it would give me pause. However, I also agree with chatondeneige, in that people can change and mature as they grow up. Not all of them do!! But since I did...I like to think I'm open-minded.
Three years of friendship, two years together, one year or marriage later, I'm still hoping for my husband to open his mind and his heart to my commitment to being different for him.

Agreed again with Marttina, to me depending on the number or circumstances, kind of tells me that their body doesn't matter to them, nor the person they did it with, and sex is just another physical sport. I'm sure some people will feel like: "this person did it this many times, so I wonder if I might just be another number to them." Or maybe "They've probably had better before, I wonder if I'm good enough or the best, I hope so...I wonder if I'm not good enough and they'll want better and will thus go looking for it [even when together]."

I said it's just a number, but I think it matters, too. I don't think anyone should be judged on their sexual past, but it's a red flag when they've only had meaningless encounters, or too many partners to count. That said, my wonderful boyfriend only had meaningless sex before me and we're solid, so there are exceptions. Fortunately, he was still at a low number.

It matters. At my age, I would never date someone that had slept with like 10 or more people. I once dated a guy that told me he had slept with 8 girls, and I just thought "ew" -- and definitely didn't agree to being number nine!
I'm only at 2, which is less than my boyfriend but not by much!

I totally agree with Gscott, and juicebox. Im not one to take sex lightly. So the number of girls he's been with, says a lot about him, and his morals wouldn't match mine. I've only been with one guy. I understand its different for woman who sleep around more than others, and also have had many partners. But if Im with someone, and Im having sex with you, than I think I should know. How many people have you shared this special bond with?

How many people you've been with and cheating on someone are two entirely different things. Sex is sex...it IS a lot more special when you're in love, but sometimes it just doesn't happen that way. No, I don't care. I would rather base it off of his characteristics and how he treats me and my friends and family.

It matters to an extent. Like everyone else said, if his sexual history shows that he doesn't take sex seriously, then I would rethink continuing things.

too many partners is just a turn-off

My partner knows my number, but I've asked not to know his. I know it will be high and I don't want to judge him for it.
We love sharing past experiences though, just things like "I did this once, it was great, what do you think?"

For me, it's not so much the number (high or low, I don't care) than the nature of his past. How were the girls he slept with / dated ? If they were all sluts (excuse my french), I would be concerned with what attracted him to me in the first place and what he's looking for in a relationship...

If they were all older than him or very much younger than him, I would ask questions as well.

See, it's not so much the number. It's the PATTERN of his past relationships.

i'd love to have a virgin boyfriend and be his first!!!!!!!

It sometimes does. But not really I have a past too.

ofcourse it would matter. a person who thinks sex is just a momentary thing is bogus. i hate people who sleep with a lotta people. its plain slutty. i want a virgin like me, and i got a virgin bf too. sex is a huge deal for me. it has to be. it is way too intimate to do it with just anyone.

The number doesn't matter that much to me but if the subject came up and he lied to me that would matter. My boyfriend is guilty of that and it really hurt to find that he had lied. I didn't really care how many women but I feel that you should be comfortable sharing that with the person you're with.

First off, I want to say that my boyfriend and I have a fantastic relationship. We are the best of friends and love each other dearly. I truely trust him.
But his sexual past is kind of iffy. Every once in a while a random girl he had been in a relationship with will come up in conversation that I've never heard of, and although I don't believe he had SEX with all of them, I find myself wondering every time I meet one of his female friends, what he's done with them.
I know, and remind myself that these things are in the past, and that I am his only girl now, but I guess that his "player" past makes me a little .... I don't know. I can't think of the right word to describe it. Maybe it's because I had only been with two people before I met him.
Maybe someone could give me advice on how to deal with this.

It is really important to me. Exposure to sexual abuse has given me hefty morals that have not made me a prude, but have resulted in me having hefty morals which leave me disgusted and resentful of my boyfriend's promiscuous sexual past. I understand not everyone will feel the same as me, but I find that he, having slept with 4 times as many people as I have is a real turn-off and an indication of the difference in our morals, and therefore compatability. I'm sure the relationship will not last much longer as I have been trying to come around to it for the past 2 years.