I got an Emily Post's Etiquette book for Christmas this year — fitting, I know! — and while flipping through some of her old-school ideals, I thought it'd be fun to see how your real life behavior and expectations of others stand up to Miss Manners herself! One of her echoes of traditional etiquette is below.
"On the street, a man traditionally walks on the curb side — a custom born of the idea that women needed to be shielded from the potential hazards posed by the passing horse-and-buggy parade."
I've known men who religiously obey this unwritten rule and those that don't even know it exists. Since proper etiquette means something different to everyone, tell me, is this something you'd expect a man to do when he's with you?
Promod
Fendi
Anya Hindmarch
Haha my man does that. When he was switching sides while we were walking on the sidewalk, I initially had no idea what he was doing! But at the same time, if there's a sketchy looking person on the other side of the sidewalk, he'll switch again! Confusing!
1I lucked out, my husband has always done this. the first time he switched sides I was confused and he said "I'm looking out for my lady", ah be still my beating heart. haha (:
2Yes, I do this all the time. I suppose it no longer has a practical purpose, but it just feels awkward if I am away from the curb. In my experience, women do not seem to notice it, so we are probably just doing this for ourselves.
I thought, however, that the practice arose because of the emptying of chamber pots from the higher floors of buildings - the arc of descent would then place the contents on the man's head rather than on the lady. In which case, this was definately a victory for women back in the old days.
3I am all about good manners and thoughtful consideration but this rule was established to protect women from the muck on the street dirtying them up before most streets were paved. Its totally irrelevant now that we have paved roads so I could care less that my husband doesn't do it.
4Ha, my boyfriend does this too...and I was so confused when he first did it, and then he explained this reason. (he also says that pimps walk on the inside when they're trying to "sell" their prostitute...not sure about that. but at least he doesn't want to "sell" me!)
5One thing I remember is when I was at lunch with my college roomate's fiance and his family. He had three brothers, his dad and mom there. When my friend and I stood up to go to the rest room, all five men stood up when we left and again when we returned to the table.
She and I exchanged glances and smiles because it was so foreign to us, but I have to say, it was nice, and I obviously still remember it fondly these many years later! I'm not saying men have to do this to be polite, but it WAS sweet.
6Hehe - cjmara (1) and pinkflake2 (5) you guys made me chuckle. (1) That is confusing that your bf will protect you from possibe horse/buggies/cars, but maybe not from sketchy people? (5) I didn't know about the whole pimp/prostitute thing, but it's definitely something I'll remember the next time I'm walking with my guy and he switches from the outside to the inside!
7My boyfriend always does this...I don't think it's a deal breaker but I'd prefer someone like this.
8Who cares? The only reason I like to be on the inside is because I don't like to be beside the cars. It doesn't matter either way though.
9My husband does this too. I think it's sweet. He gets mad at me if I am on the wrong side and makes me move to the inside. Also, if we go out to eat he likes to sit in the seat where he can see the door in case anything is going on.
10i always do this to boys. if they don't follow this rule, i spit and/or vomit on them before causing a scene and eventually running away
11My fiance does this, but only after I mentioned this rule in passing a few years ago. He had never heard of it before. Now that he practices it, I think it's very sweet, but it has never been a dealbreaker.
12DearSugar, Emily Post is not Miss Manners. Judith Martin is the writer known as Miss Manners.
13pinklake, that was some fascinating trivia.
14*pinkflake
15(sorry)
I have one good guy friend who does this. I freakin love it!! I always try to confuse him and walk as close to the road as possible so that he practically has to push me over lol. I mentioned it to my bf when we started dating (2 years ago!) buttt unfortunately it didnt stick
nor did
opening my car door and although he opens every other door for me, he doesnt always allow me to go in first...
16MEN!
My mom has the Emily Post book, her mom had it when she was little as an actual manner book to follow. We've been reading through it recently just laughing at most of the stuff. Some of the things in that book are just crazy! LOL!
My ex mostly just put himself between me and scary/dangerous people. I'm not sure if he actually knew this rule.
I'm pretty sure my bf has never heard of this rule. haha.
So yeah, it would be nice if a guy does it but it's not a dealbreaker.
17My mother is very old-school....she memorized her Emily Post book for as long as I've been her daughter! I think Peggy is the modern one now.
In response to the topic, I think it's a nice gesture for the guy to do that, but not making a big deal about it at the same time. If he keeps doing that, you're bound to notice how he's being protective.
18People walk? lol...j/k...never thought about it.
19I don't mind where the man walks, except in this one occasion:
20I was walking on a narrow, uneven sidewalk once and the man coming towards me from the opposite direction actually gently PUSHED me onto the street inside of moving to let me pass! I wonder what Emily Post would have thought of that.
It's not a dealbreaker for me, but it is for my father! He insists upon basic chivalry from the men in my life. Good thing the fiance it mindful of this
21Call me old fashioned, but I like when guys do this!
22Pink you're right! Or at least your b/f is lol. It absolutely also has to do with where the "john" would stand to be able to showcase the prostitute and if the woman is on the outside, she would be considered up for sale for the night
23I honestly don't pay much attention to where we both walk. I think we tend to walk this way b.c that's the side I chose to walk on naturally because my mom would always walk curb side when I was a child. So it's just second nature to stay away from the street.
24Thats a dealbreaker if they dont do that for me. But I am very old fashioned, like doors opened, chairs moved, etc. Luckily enough my beau is exactly the same way.
Funnily enough it used to be the other way around, men used to walk on the inside, when there wasnt sewerage people would empty their chamber pots out the window. Funny how things change
25My husband gets ticked off if I enter a doorway before him. Sometimes he even makes me come back out so he can open it! Too funny. He says it's a small thing he can do to show he cares, AND he doesn't want to look like a prick. Charming.
26My man does that he is very gentlemanly.
27Hubby does it ALL the time! He jokes around sometimes when I walk on the outside saying "HEY! know your place woman." With a really funny face...I think its real cute and I love the fact he does this!
28This reminds me of that episode of Flight of the Conchords where Brett can't figure out why a date went wrong, and Jermaine asks, "Did you walk on the outside of her?" Brett says yes, and then they're both stumped, as if that should have sealed the deal. Hilarious!
29I love chivalrous men....
30My boyfriend does this sometimes, but he'll switch sides if there's something weird on the other side.
31My dad does this when I walk with him sometimes. He also just likes being on the outside. I do this a lot when I walk with my friends or my younger cousins. I do it in case something were to happen I could push them or protect them. I don't care if people do it for me or not. If I want to walk on the inside then I walk on the inside.
32My bf does this too. At first I didn't know what he was doing, then I kinda got the point. I thought it was absolutely sweet! He said if a man doesnt walk on the "street side" then he doesn't care about you. So I guess it was his way of saying that he cares about me. He also said something about guys who let women walk on the "street side", they are usually a chick who they are just screwing, or a wh*re. Not that I agree, but who doesn't want a guy that wants to protect you.
33Totally not a deal breaker, but very sweet. Being as how we have paved streets now, like some of the rest of you, I'd prefer him to stand between me and sketchy looking people. Generally speaking though, doesn't bother me in the slightest which side he walks on, although basic chivalry is always appreciated!
34my bf used to try to do it, but gave up because i like him to be on my right side and i will switch sides with him if he's on my left.
35Aw, the first time my guy and I went walking, he did this for me, completely unexpectedly. I remember having one of those girly butterfly moments, oioioi.
36My hubby always walks on the curb side. If we get out of sync, he claims he can feel his Dad's boot on his butt reminding him of the manners he was taught. He also opens doors, doesn't eat until I sit down at the table, always thanks me for a meal, but the one that tickles me the most.....if the man coughs in his sleep, he says "excuse me".
37For those of you who are offended, you will get exactly what you are entitled to. To be loved is the easy part, to earn and maintain his respect is worth it's weight in gold; to be cherished and protected the silver.
Nice gesture but def. not a deal breaker. I am comfortable taking care of myself if necessary.
38On Facebook I'm am a part of a group called "There Are Some Things Guys Should Always Do For Girls. Period." My Step Dad walks on the curb side, opens the door, never walks in front of a lady, doesn't use bad language or raise his voice around a lady, etc. I am an extremely self sufficient woman, but I think women today forgot what it feels like to be treated like a lady. I have settled for men with poor manners before, but never again.
39Unlike many of you, I'm glad it's not 1865 anymore. I prefer to live in the present where I can vote, have a career, and walk on whatever side of the sidewalk I damn well please.
40It has nothing to do with "woman's rights". Dang, javsmav. All we're saying is that its cute when a guy wants to protect us, or just not want us to get hit by a car. Not saying woman shouldn't vote. You totally missed the point.
41i think that chivalry is great in the right time, but i also think that it's not a deal breaker for me. if a guy doesn't do EVERYTHING then it's fine. i'm one to be considered an independent woman.
42I always walk on the curb side because I like being on his left side and he likes being on my right...it feels more natural when we hold hands. It's what we're used to.
43I haven't missed the point at all. You can't have it both ways. You can't demand equality and demand to be treated like a delicate flower. I'm not saying at all that a guy should be rude or treat you with anything less than the utmost respect, but he should not have to do silly little antiquated rituals just to make you feel special. My boyfriend and I have mutual respect for each other. He treats me as an equal and that's what I love about him.
44I dont see what, chivalry has to do with women's rights. I dont see how it makes you less independent either. If a guy holds the door, for me, Im not going to say "No, dont hold the door, bcus I'm allowed to vote, and I can do everything by myself." What is wrong with simple cute little things? I promise you will still be able to vote, and pay for dinner, while he walks on the other side of you. Nothing wrong with being independent, nothing wrong with appreciating simple little things that men do. That's all.
45I don't have a problem with a guy opening a door for me. I would expect him to if he got to the door first (just like I hold the door for people who walk behind me--whether I know them or not, it's just polite to hold the door for the person behind you). I have a problem with women screaming about how they should be put on a freaking pedestal and have all these ridiculous things that men MUST do for them simply because they're women. Like Squeaks's facebook group. I find that so offensive.
46My husband has been doing this since we were college sweethearts. I love it. Excuse me, while I'm stereotypically female, but it makes me feel protected.
47My boyfriend does this. He also sleeps on the "danger side". =)
48I consider myself pretty chivalrous. I'm aware of social etiquette and practice most things like pulling out and pushing in chairs, holding open doors, and holding her hand on stairs. The sidewalk thing throws me though. I'd rather walk on the inside and protect her from the swarms of idiots on the sidewalk that tend to bump into oncoming pedestrians. At 6'3" I'm a little more commanding than my girlfriend's 5'5" frame. That being said, I have an ex who used to give me a hard time about not walking on the curb side. That's one of many reasons she's an ex. Ladies, chill out. If your man takes good care of you and treats you well, you're ahead of the game. Don't be greedy.
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