granted he's actually put you through hell and it wasn't your fault solely that you're divorcing, then sure, that can be forgiven

undecided.

If he has really put you through hell then yes it's forgive.

But if it were me I'd take the higher road and show that you really don't have to do anything to show him your better off without him.

there are enough details here to decide ... but I would say forgive if he ever cheated on you, hurt you, emotionally or physically etc.
and not forgive if you knew all along that marrying him was a mistake but you still fell for it ... and now just want to make him jealous ...

Be an adult. Wait until you have split before you rub someone else in his face. I think you want to do it now to make yourself feel better, but it's not going to. If he's been to terrible to you, he might not even care.

Agreed JustSomeChick. He may have been awful to you in your marriage but if you're going to exit, do it with grace and dignity.

Forgive .....but why would you want to try and spite someone who obviously isn't going to care ? I just don't see the point in going tit for tat.

If it were me I would rather show who's got more class and just walk away with my dignity in tact.The last thing I would want him to know is that he got to me regardless of how I feel on the inside. Be happy and live well.It's what they say is the best revenge.

wait until the divorce is final. I don't know if you have an uncontested/ no-fault divorce or if a judge is divying up all of your stuff, but wait until the divorce is final.

and I agree with ^^ tact, grace, and dignity are the best revenge.

It's understandable, but pretty childish.

*I mean, do you really want him to have so much power over you that you're trying to have random sex just to spite him?

Not forgive. Take the higher road. Doing something "just to rub it in his face" just shows how much emotional control he still has over you, because you care so much about what he things. Even if you do go out and have a rebound then keep it between yourself and your friends.

*thinks

eh, we've all felt that way! Forgive.

That's childish and ridiculous. You should want to be an adult about the situation and not stoop to his level, but to each her own.

undecided- definitely forgive for wanting to, but not if you actually do it.

Forgive as long as your relationship is completely over.

Depending on what he did to you, I think it's understandable that you'd want revenge. It's a natural emotion.

Why give him another reason to think you're a horrible wife? Walk away with pride and dignity, so he realizes how badly he screwed up later on down the road. That's the ultimate revenge.

Also, you didn't say if there are kids involved here. If there are, never ever ever take revenge on the soon-to-be-ex.

"Why give him another reason to think you're a horrible wife? "

Who says he thinks shes a horrible wife??? Maybe he cheated on her and wants her back because he realizes she was such a WONDERFUL wife and shes giving him the finger!

for WANTING revenge? forgive and sympathize, girl. But for GETTING it, in the way you described? unforgivable. get you a good lawyer and SCREW him in court.

Yeh yeh, revenge is great but it's pointless. Yeh, you're making him feel like complete crap, but how is this helping you to move on any faster? It's just creating more negative feelings, more negative situations. Not only for you, but for him. Just end up falling into a wo/manhole while roaming for revenge. Usually happens.

It is pretty childish. He still has some control over you. If you're not getting a new guy for your own sake, then its pointless. Its like you want him to care about you. I agree with pretty much everybody else. I vote undecided, bcuz we dont know what he actually did to you

Well, I sure as heck understand the desire to do that! But actualizing it would be another story. So I forgive the fantasy but would not forgive if you took that step. You're getting a divorce. Wait until then. He'll still hear about it, after the fact.

probably not a good idea. But it's difficult when you are on the verge of a divorce.

like a few other people said: of course you can be forgiven for WANTING revenge, but not if you actually go through with it. you did marry the guy of your own free will...it's up to you to get yourself out of the relationship with your self-respect still intact.

does he care who you sleep with? i think you are assuming too much. move on to something better rather than lowering yourself to his level of ugliness. show him what class looks like.

Also...noone knows what he did to you, but if it isn't as bad as cheating, you're basically wiping the slate clean for him and turning the tables on yourself for being the actual reason now that this divorce should happen. You lose and he gets to be the innocent one while you look...distasteful.

I agree with the others - forgive for wanting to, not forgive if you actually do t.

GScott is totally right - don't give him the satisfaction of getting to play the 'innocent'!

It's childish. And if you DO end up doing it then he will will the rest of his life thinking "That's why we ended in divorce, because SHE did this". It's a stupid thought of his part but that's how it will come across. I'm all for leaving with your head held high, your dignity intact because you are a lady (not some childish girl). Be proud that you make decisions for yourself now and not because of someone else (which is what you are thinking about essentially). Besides...who's you say you won't end up regretting that "roll-in-the-hay" in some random guy.

You really don't need anymore drama in your life!

It sucks but it's a natural reaction.

*
If you must, wait until you're legally divorced (unless he doesn't, I suppose). It could hurt you in the proceedings if you were unfaithful.

this is why i cant stand my own gender sometimes.

You can want revenge all day long but be a mature adult and keep your legs closed. You're still married. Now how much of a fool would you feel like, and for a long time, if you decided to get marriage counceling and you worked things out. You would have wh*red yourself out for one night out of so called *sweet revenge* over your husband. Then you'd have another major problem between you.

Do you always act childish? Maybe you're immature behavior is whats leading you down the divorce aisle now. I'll say again, keep your legs closed. Try waiting until after you divorced. It won't kill you.

In the long run, it will hurt you more than him. Trust me.