The only one question you should ask yourself is "Do you think you can find someone better than him?". If yes, it is time for a change. It already sounds like you've been riding solo for a while. If not, then you know it's not time to let go.

Everythingandme, I don't agree with that view at all.

I also don't believe in breaks - but what you need from this guy is some sort of timeline. Figure out at what point you'll both be able to make a decision and hang on till then.

That said, I get the feeling that he's not in this 100%. He doesn't want you to move to be with him, and he's not willing to move to be with you. Sounds like he's keeping his options open.

I agree with the boyfriend...no such thing as a break. A "break" is just a way to justify dating other people while keeping someone else on the back burner, and I am afraid to say, it usually is one-sided.

To me, it sounds like you are not getting what you want from the relationship and that you are unhappy. I personally think successful relationships are as much about timing as anything else, and it just doesn't seem right at this point. You also expressed that you wait for him to call the shots, and it sounds like you resent it...you perceive that he has all of the control over what happens, and you have none.

You can talk to him about a timeline, but I think you already know the answer. Time apart and dating others will either make you both realize you want to be together or that it is truly time to move on.

I don't know if you're stuck, but you seem to think you are.

If you think this relationship is special and worth holding onto despite the distance, try being more assertive and telling your partner how you feel and try to come to a solution together. If you want to have any kind of future together, you need to be equals and you need to have your own voice.

Well, I don't believe in 'breaks' too.
I also think that taking a semester off to be with him is a little too much. If I were you, I'd opt for finishing up school first then maybe consider about moving to be with him (plus, that way, he has no excuse to say 'no,' if he keeps coming up with excuses, there's red flag there).

But if you're unable to come with a compromise with him and he's refused to see anything from your pov, there's trouble there.

Honestly, you seem to have one foot out the door already, rather than 'what if,' I'd say, take the plunge and move on. Maybe one day you two happen again, maybe you'll meet someone who is more suitable for you, where you feel more equal rather than having no voice.

I agree with Hope2be. It sounds like you're already in 'move on' mode.

I think he's right about school - you should just stick it out, get it done as fast as you can, and then relocate to be closer to each other.

Is he worth it? if he is, a few months or another year is going to be nothing in the scheme of things. I guess you really have to decide whether or not you can trust him, believe him, and more importantly - what you want yourself!

Best of luck with it though!

LDRs are very hard. You do feel like you're not sharing a life - because you're not! Don't let your impatience get the best of you. He's right about you finishing school - obviously, if you're still there, it means you're young and still have time for all the other life-changing decisions, like moving in with him and all that stuff. School is important, he's trying to settle down in his own life too; if you do love him and see a future with him, take care of yourself while he takes care of himself, and then find a way to get your paths to cross when you're more ready.

Maybe you're just going through a phase of fed up with the long distance. It will probably pass; try and see him for a long weekend or a getaway or something. I was very frustrated for a year and a half when me and my BF were LD - but it's a true test of love and faith. And then you move in, and they get on your nerves for not doing the dishes, so you know, nothing's perfect!

Everything depends on your feelings for him, in the end. Either he's worth waiting for, either you feel like he's not it.

Its tough ... I was in a similar situation and regretted losing the guy ... so my advice, stick through it, finish school and try to move in with him ... relationships are a lot of investment and you have already put in so much ... give it a chance until after school ends ... and see where things go from there ... hope it works out better for you

i can understand being frustrated because you're mainly doing long distance but maybe once he's more settled you'll be able to have a more set schedule where you two can make time for eachother. i think he doesn't want you to not finish school and resent him for it by giving up your life to live his, and honestly, i think he's right. i don't believe in breaks either so i know where he's coming from. maybe he thinks you aren't all the way into it because you suggested a "break" which for him can mean that you want to see other people, don't want to break up because you want to keep him as an option, or because you don't want to hurt him completely, and the list goes on...

i think you should wait to find out what is going to happen with him and whatever job he takes, and then make your decision. i would continue with school. never put your life on hold because you need to help someone else live theirs. finish what you started then move with him. if things don't continue to progress when you are both in a better situation then maybe you should separate, but if you both still feel strongly about eachother, a few more months of long distance is not a big deal when you plan on spending years together.

Sounds like a dead end relationship to me. If the relationship is frustrating now, it'll be frustrating later.

You've been together for year and some. If you were with him for yea and a half something has to be right. Maybe now since u asked him to move in and u take semester off school an that hurt you. Maybe that is why u r feeling that way. I understand that if u finish school ull have better chance of getting job and then u can move in together so you can both contribute to household. If you think there is someone better out there for you then leave and look for that person. You know? Or maybe uou two can talk about the arrangements u have. Instead of seeing each other once every two months u can see each other more often. You have to evaluate you relationship. If it is worth it then continue it obviously and if not then you know wat you have to do. By the way I agree with you bf I don't believe in breaks, especially If ur in long term relationship where the whole entire time it feels like a break.

Been there, done that.

My fiance and I live half ways across the world. And if I'm lucky I'll see him more than twice or three times a year. I went through these same feelings and thoughts in the beginning of our relationship, and it was such a difficult thing to deal with. But I sat down and really thought about this relationship, how much it means to me and what I am willing or not willing to deal with. You need to be really truthful with yourself and understand what you want from this relationship.

My relationship is running very smoothly since then. I haven't seen him since August and its so frustrating, but we are both aware of our circumstances and help eachother cope with it all. He is coming in March, and then in June when we will get married and finally be together in the same time zone.

Good luck.

LilyLyra has some good info there. Let me add in my two cents.

I'm currently in an LDR with about the same timeframe as you - we've been together for a year, and I don't get to see him more than once every 1-2 months. I wanted to take a semester off and live with him too, but he also denied me. While perhaps he has an ulterior motive and is trying to "keep his options open," I figure only seeing me every other month, and usually paying for it...well, it'd be pointless to keep it going. Instead, I know that while he would love for me to move in with him, he wants me to be sure to finish school, get a good job, be successful, and be happy, regardless of him.

I too have sat down and thought about my relationship. It helps a lot. And let me also say, LDRs are not for everyone. They differ in many ways from normal relationships, obviously, and one of those ways are the rough patches. Since physically you're alone, you're probably trying to handle all these issues on your own. But really, you should be bringing all this up with him.

However, if you really feel, deep down, that you're "missing out on other opportunities," then maybe this relationship is dead end for you, on a personal level. However, consider that by breaking up, you would probably miss out on him forever. If that's something you're ok with, even if it hurts, then it might be right. I can't really judge for you though.

I second LilyLyra and Leesamurmur! Hang in there! It seems like you are giving up too easily! You seem to have a good thing going!

I've been in a LDR for 4 years now (yikes!) and we see each other once or twice a month. It's ridiculously hard. I feel like a lot of times I don't bring up issues that I have because I prefer to talk about them in person. I feel totally alone sometimes and feel like our relationship is strained. But I also know I should be better about communicating those issues to my BF. I feel like you could also be doing this. You really need to tell him how you feel.

I'm also in school, and if there is one thing I can tell you it's that its most important for you to finish school so that you can be together as equals sooner! If you move in with him while taking a semester off, you are just postponing the time when you will be together for good! You have to think of yourself, and for you the best thing is to continue with school. Otherwise you may never go back and would grow to resent him.

Having said that, if you think you can find someone better for you, then you aren't being fair to your boyfriend and you should just break it off.

I think your boyfriend is smart by saying school first. Grad school is a butt to pay for and once you stop you know it's going to be so incredibly hard to get back into it. Grad school is 3 years at most, you may not end up with your current boyfriend but you will have the education and the back ground to care for yourself for the rest of your life. If you do make it through the distance and wait it out, then you know it was worth the wait.

Yes something that I forgot to add is to be soooooooo open and talk about everything and anything that is bothering you with your boyfriend. Because if you have these feelings and he knows nothing about them and continues acting like always and this is bugging you so much, it will only affect you negatively even more so. So you need to be honest with yourself and think things over A LOT, then be honest with your boyfriend and be able to talk about everything.

And I agree with everyone else when they said school comes first. Because when you finish school then you guys can be together for good, and you will have completed school and be able to be an independent woman in a happy relationship, which is a win win situation.

BTW, I'm very jealous of everyone else who is in a LDR here, they get to see their SO a lot in comparasion to me.

To me, a guy who would put off his own wants rather than ask you to interrupt your life by moving in with him clearly cares for you but it sounds like you don't see it that way. Maybe you should see what happens with his interviews so that you can see whether he'll be living closer to you. If you don't want to wait for the results of the interviews or if he will live just as far, then I agree with the other comments that it's probably time to move on.

if you feel like you might miss opportunites then move on.

if i can assume he is really a decent guy, maybe he's thinking of your future. once you stop the "school" momentum, it's hard to get it back. you should really finish school either way, so you are in control of your own life in general. if you are tired of the LD, then there are other fish in the sea, but are they like him? maybe, maybe not. you decide.