Dear Sugar,

My girlfriend and I broke up about three months ago. Two weeks after it happened, she confessed to sleeping with someone else. Though we weren't together, we still kept the lines of communication open and she constantly told me that she loved me and missed me — I returned the sentiment (which I sincerely felt). We are trying to work things out and slowly get back together, so is it unreasonable for me to ask her to break off all ties with the guy she slept with? I just don't think I can move forward knowing that she's still in contact with a man that she's been intimate with. — Cautious Kevin

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Dear Cautious Kevin,

I don't blame you for feeling insecure about the man your ex slept with, so if he's going to be a bone of contention for you while you patch things up with her, I think you should most definitely talk to her about him. It sounds as though they are still in contact, so before jumping to conclusions about getting back together, make sure you're on the same page — in other words, be certain she's no longer having relations with him. If you're both on board with making your relationship work again, I don't think it's unreasonable for you to ask her to cut off ties with him, but at the end of the day, you're going to have to trust her in order to have a successful, happy relationship — whether they talk or not. I wish you luck!

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