We are married now, but when we were dating it was seperate bedrooms, as it should be. and my children will have those same rules

My mom is very cool about that. She's always felt that (after I went away to college and come back for holidays) that since I do it at my home, she isn't going to say that I can't. But we're a pretty laid back, liberal and open family...except for my bro, but then again he really has never had a long term girlfriend to even think about bringing back...though I assume he'd sleep separate from her, even in his own home:)

Hypothetically speaking, if we weren't allowed to sleep together at their house, we'd be sleeping at a hotel. They have the right to object, and so do we. What's more important? being right? or everyone being happy?
I don't have parents to consider so it would only be an issue for his (whoever he is lol) parents.

Both mine and his parents don't make a fuss about us sleeping in the same room. I'm not sure if my parents are totally okay with it or just acting like they are, but his parents honestly don't see a problem in us sleeping together at all. We've been together for five years now so I guess everyone has pretty much worked out the fact that we sleep together

The first time we visited my parents, we'd been together a few months, so it was separate bedrooms. The next time, we were engaged and had lived together for 18 months. We got the sofa bed, but I think that was partly because they didn't feel like cleaning up two bedrooms! And that was an OLD sofa bed; I'd have preferred separate bedrooms with comfortable beds!

Last time we were married and they'd bought a queen bed for one of the bedrooms. My brother and his girlfriend were there at the same time; they slept in the same room but both in twin beds. Hee.

At my parents', his dad's, and his mom's we share a bed. We've been together for 6 years and lived together 3 so yeah everyone's ok with it lol

I didn't vote because my parent's and my boyfriend's are different. My parents don't allow it and when I still lived at home, the few times my bf slept over, we slept in different rooms. At his house, we always slept in his room together. And now, we live together.

My parents and his parents are quite conservative, so we're forced to sleep separately. Sometimes I wonder if that will always be the case, even after we're married! lol

anything other than seperate beds is just rude, even if they insist.

justanerd, something isn't rude unless the other person (in this case, the hosting family) considers it rude. If someone's parents are really OK with the couple sleeping in the same bed, then it would be rude for the couple to insist on separate beds, because then the hosting family has to provide an extra bed and bedding even though they personally have no interest in putting in the effort.

This is going to be an interesting test, when I was engaged my bf and I had to sleep in separate rooms even the night before the wedding. Now that I'm divorced and have my first serious bf coming home to meet the parents I wonder if they will go back to separate bedrooms. I doubt it though, I think the house will be so crowded we will sleep in the same bed with 1 or 2 other people!

Separate beds b4 we were married..It's their home, and we respect their rules and their feelings.. and the same rule will hold true for our kids as well.

I have slept in the same bed with my at my parents place and his. They both totally do not mind. They are not overly conservative.

Hmm, what about if the parents are staying at your place? In my family we rotate where we will spend the holidays each year so it's my place this year and my boyfriend also flew down and this is the first time they are meeting him so does the rule still apply since it's MY house?

I really need to know and plus this is a good break for me, way to many people in my house right now.

Yes, we've been together for five years and my family loves him. But my family is pretty liberal.

*we sleep in the same bed, I mean

My parents are quite laid back but we always do separate bedrooms out of respect- until we're married

My parents didn't care at all. His parents weren't happy about it at first and made us sleep in different rooms but they gave in when he was sick and I was taking care of him. Honestly there was more action when we had to sneak around haha.

Not speaking from any actual experience here, but -

Personally, my family is pretty traditional. If I brought a guy to my dad's house, there's not a chance in hell we'd be staying in the same room [maybe not even the same end of the house!] until we were married.

I respect that, though - I just hope my b/f or fiancee or whatever would do the same.

My parents didn't let my husband and I sleep on the same floor of the house until we were married when we visited.

His parents insisted we sleep in different beds, and it helped us better appreciate when we were married and got to sleep together, I think.

But that's me.

Nope - we asked very politely and got a "not until there's a ring". It's fine - we'll just stay in a hotel for part of the time since we're in an LDR and we never get to see each other. I'm from the South and it's extremely common for parents to be that conservative. My friends from the Northeast and from other countries simply can't believe it - they find it ridiculous.

And yeah, I'm not going to enforce that rule on my children, especially if they are full-grown and self-supporting adults. I'm nearly 30 for crying out loud. As long as two people are respectful and don't make any noise (and you know that they are being safe and that they are a serious couple) what's the big deal?

i would be offended if my parents told me that i couldn't sleep in the same room as my significant other. i'm an adult. come on.

...thankfully my parents aren't like that. they'd laugh at me if i even suggested separate rooms and i would laugh at them if they did.

when i was a teenager, that was one thing but as an adult it's just silly.

Wow tnmom, what's wrong with being in a serious relationship with someone and living with them? That's really interesting that you think my sister is a ho-slut because she sleeps in the same bed as her bf of almost 5 years. That's seriously the most ridiculous comment I've seen on this site.

this is hilarious.

This is how I told my parents I was dating a guy right after graduating college:

"Mom, Dad - When I come home next month, I'd like to bring a friend with me. Umm, we're going to want to share a room" - lol, that was how they knew he was THAT kind of friend.

My parents and his could have absolutely cared less. So in terms of bring "respectful" and "not rude" it all has to do with what your parents want. My mom would have laughed at me if I brought a serious boyfriend home and we had separate rooms. Why should she make up/clean up 2 rooms needlessly is what she would say!

tnmom, tell us how you really feel...

where is the *rolls eyes* face?

haha! no, we are all grown ups, and I agree with otaku...my mom would laugh in my face if i suggested separate rooms. and it's not disrespectful or rude, we're in love and celebrating Christmas. My boyfriend is part of our family.

But then what do I know, I'm just a Ho-Slut, right tnmom?

Thanks tnmom, for clearing up why my boyfriend and I are still together after 5 years. All that time I was under the false impression that it was because we love each other, but thankfully you made me see the light, it's just because I spread my legs for him and am the best he can get now. That MUST be it! Thanks for making me see the light and a merry christmas to you for spreading all that love here.

my bf and i don't ask, we just get into the bed in our room (like our childhood room) when it's time to sleep and don't make a big fuss of it. it all begins when we walk into the house and put our suitcases in the same room.

and tnmom, you're ridiculous. obviously you're 96 years old? because that's the only way i could imagine you being so ridiculously conservative and abrasive.

We don't have the luxury of having that many rooms. ;p My parents would never object and neither do his. THANKFULLY. I'm 24 and it would be weird if they did.

Although I'm single, my parents would have me and a significant other in seperate bedrooms until we were married. I completely understand and don't complain... then again, the rules will probably be the same for my kids as well.

But to each their own I say. But meh, we are all Ho-Sluts anyway according to tnmom.

Well, of course we can sleep in the same room.

I don't know what counts as a conservative family but I live in f*cking Austria where most people are catholic and generally more conservative and not one friend of mine would come to mind who isn't allowed to sleep in the same bed with their boyfriend.

We weren't allowed to until we were engaged.

LOL at Tnmom. Wowza. Since you have "mom" in your name, I can only assume that you have children, and for them I feel sorry. Your daughter is going to think she is a "ho-slut" for dating and your son will be out "to do the best he can do at the time." Lovely things to instill in your children...

Anyway, my IL's are more conservative than my parents, so they had us wait until we were engaged (well, my MIL anyway, my FIL would let us stay in the same room when she wasn't home, lol). My parents are far more liberal and had no issues with it. Now that we're married with a baby and another one on the way, we're in the same room, no doubt.

I never would have been comfortable staying in the same room in my fiance's parent's house, but that's just my own thing. If everyone's fine with it, who cares. But if anyone isn't entirely comfortable with it, then I would respect their wishes. It's just a few days, so why make a big issue of it and potentially cause hard feelings that will be there down the road.

This came up the other night during the snow storm. The beau and I had to find a place to park our car and we decided to stay over my mom's place. She didn't say anything now because I'm living on my own and it's a one time deal. However, she does mention it to my sister who lives at home that having her bf over all the time isn't good.

My mom wouldn't object, but if he were to come over to my dad's house it would be different. There are two twin beds in my room so it'd be expected my guy would probably sleep on the OTHER twin bed... haha.
But I'm going to visit my guy and his family in March, and he warned me that for his little sisters' sake we'd have different rooms. On that front, I understand.

now we are married but before at my parent´s house in separate rooms and at his parent´s house in the same room, so much fun!!!......BTW what Tnmom said? LOL

I can't find Tnmom's comment.

I can't remember what she said in it's entirety but she said something along the lines of...

Why would you sleep with someone if your not married, you shouldn't spread your legs for someone b/c your just the girl he's with at that second. I don't understand why someone would do that unless you are a ho-slut.

I think it was something like that. Someone else can correct me if they remember.

: OY : HA

Why not just be real about it? Your relatives know that you're probably sharing a bed together elsewhere, so why not at their home too, it saves space. But I do think that you should respect your parents or other realatives and not do anything that can be heard by them