I was dating a girl for three years in college. In those days, if you were seriously dating like that, you got engaged when you graduated. I (cowardly)just stopped calling her, or going out with here. Well, I took out a classmate the evening of last day before Christmas Vacation. (Yeah back then that's what it was called.) It turned out she lived an hour an half from me door to door. I thought with her living that far away, there would be no chance of getting serious. We celebrate our 43rd wedding anniversary next May 1.

sometime, i think it is a matter of just deciding. I never understood that phrase "you just know." I knew my hubby 2 months and decided we were going to look at rings. He agreed. That was that.

Hmm...it's different for everyone, some decide some know. But it's more than just that. Marriage these days...or always is more of a decision. Both of you want to be married to each other or w/e. No the real "you'll just know" is whether or not you want to spend the rest of your lives together, no matter what. No matter how many times she/he hurt you, no matter the mistakes, you'll try to work things out and try to work together. You'll just know then. You'll just know when this is the person that no matter what, you'll give your life for. Of course it's not always perfect and doesn't work for everyone...due to issues...abusive spouses, habitual cheaters, etc...but usually, you'll just know.

I've "known" twice and was wrong both times. So I'm cautiously optimistic in my current relationship.

I don't know if I like that phrase 'the one.' I mean, like luisa, I thought so with 2 of my exes. But boy, was I so wrong!
I guess my fiancee and I decide that we're both for each other because we love each other and we're very realistic on our expectations, we have great communication with each other and always been able to work things out, beside our chemistry. So yeah.

I had been with my fiance for a few months when I came down with a truly horrific kidney infection. We're talking industrial-strength pain, fevers so high I was shaking, and just general Black Plague-level misery. He stayed with me the whole time, taking care of me, and just cuddled me and played me a lot of Jack Johnson to make me feel better. That's when I knew

Agree with luisa.

I think "just knew" is simply falling in love and having it work out. I have loved so strongly that I never thought I would ever feel better when things didn't work out. Luckily, I was wrong about that, but it has taught me to be cautious.

"The One" will make you feel safe and secure. "The One" will love you and accept and respect you for who you are. "The One" will have your best interests at heart."The One" will be the one you confide in and be the shoulder to cry on ."The One" will be there for you. "The One" will understand that you have other interests & friends and not pout about it. "The One" will put a smile on your face. "The One" will cuddle with you and hold you and give you a hug when you need it. "The One" will tell you things will be OK and will work out. You will not be able to imagine your life without "The One" in it.

I agree with blckout200 above.

I just had to add more to this topic.

Admittedly, it is hard to know if you found the "One". Mr./Ms. Right as opposed to Mr./Ms. Right Now is an enigma much like love. To love and be loved is probably the greatest and most rewarding experience one can have in life. He/she makes your heart skip a beat. You feel the excitement creeping when you see this person. Nothing else matters when you are with them. When he/she is nearby it is as if no other person is around. Feels like an old shoe. It feels comfortable to be with him or her. Like an old shoe, you seem to immediately detect that everything fits perfectly with this person. Your instinct is telling you something. It is good to heed it and explore the reasons.
Put a smile to your face. You can't stop smiling when the person is around. Things appear brighter and lighter when you spend time with him/her. You lose track of time. You just want to spend a lot of time with the person. Also, when you started talking, time seems to fly in an instant. You don't want the conversation to end. You would let it go on and on if you have a choice.

He/she feels the same way and cares for you. If she/he returns your feelings then that's the perfect indication that he or she is the "ONE" you have been looking for.
He/shr wants to spend his free time with you. Instead of going out with the guys, he would rather be with you. This means he is falling. He/she makes time for you.
He/she discusses a future with you, and you are in it. He says things like. when "we" marry or move, or when "we" have kids. He/she wants for you to meet his friends and family. He/she speaks of you in an endearing manner. He/she is protective of you.
He/she calls to tell you he misses you while looking at your picture on his desk ... yeah, he/she’s in. He/shetrusts you.

If you love the person and the relationship has lasted for a long time, most likely that initial puppy love and infatuation period will have long been gone. If you can still look at the person will love and fondness, then this person may be the One. All new relationships are exciting in the beginning but those feelings subside with time. If you still find yourself crazy about the person after being with them for more than four months, you may have a keeper. NOTE: most affairs only last three months. Why? Because they weren't based on love, only lust, and the excitement, the thrill, is gone after three months.

I think you get a feel for it, maybe not always at first (even though I did) but that grows with time, and then one day you realize that it's on its way of being "that" relationship, the one that will last, that will be as good as it can be. No relationship is ever perfect, in my opinion - and no person is either. But you know, for all the reasons mentioned above, that you've found a pretty great match, and that you can weather the storms together, and especially - that you want your kids to have his scrawny shoulders and his near-sighted eyes. However badly I want to bash his head in sometimes, I know, and have known for quite a long time, that my BF is the one. I'm 31, have never gotten along this well with anyone, had that many things in common, and been able to rely on someone as much. I trust him, I adore him, and I can't imagine ever KISSING someone else. The first few months of magic were certainly an indication; but the road we've travelled the past three years have definitely confirmed it better than any "gut feeling".

I have also "known" twice and was wrong both times. I think it's best not to count your chickens before they hatch , so to speak, when it comes to a relationship. You never really know if someone is going to change or if situations will arise that cause the relationship to change or even end. Just be happy every day that you're together.

When it feels right? When you aren't afraid of anything and you know they'll fight your corner? I KNOW with my boyfriend but I knew before we even got together that he was the one for me.

I completely agree with JazzyTummy, "I think "just knew" is simply falling in love and having it work out."

See, I had definitely absolutely found The One before. He was amazing, we were perfect, la la la. And if we were still together, I would still call him The One and say "oh i just knew". But things didn't work out (it really was that simple), so I guess i'm not allowed to call him The One anymore.

I do believe that everyone has multiple true loves in their lifetime though.

I realized I was falling in love, and I made myself sit down and think about what life would really be like to spend the rest of my life with him. Could we work as a team on things like our finances and housework? What were the things that drove me nuts about him, and could I live with those forever? What would living with him be like (this was about 3 months after we started dating, so we weren't living together at the time)? And we gave it some time, which I think is important. We waited two years before getting engaged, and another year after that before we got married, so we knew each other really well by the time marriage hit, and knew what we were getting into.

I sort of always knew. Which sounds lame and overly romanticized (and if you knew me, you'd know I'm not really the romantic type) but from the moment I met him I knew there was something special about him that went beyond just his looks.

He was the exact opposite of everything I thought I wanted but he was the perfect balance for me from the beginning. He helped me lighten up and be positive and I helped him grow up and take things seriously and we were both able to do so without compromising who we are.

We'll be celebrating our 5 year anniversary in early January and I'm still just as ecstatic as I was when we were dating. His 'terminally bachelor' buddies always say they'd get married if they could find a relationship as good as ours.

i can relate to luisamapacha. Just when you think its right, its wrong. I actually don't believe in the one anymore. But I do believe in taking it step by step. The lucky ones are the ones with all the baby steps that turned into an entire lifetime.

xoxo...

I'm a cheesy old hard core romantic and I totally believe in "the one" and not just like oh I fell in love and it happened to work out "the one". I married the one for me and it wasn't easy and I knew after the first time I talked to him which sounds corny but it's really how it happened for me. There was definitely no lovey dovey easy road. We were together and apart and I never could give up on the love that I had for him.I tried dating other people and he did too but in the end nothing ever compared to who he is to me and the way he makes me feel. We've been in love for over 12 years now and our relationship is strong and still passionate and he's my best friend and the only human being I feel so completely at ease with. I never worry that he'll lose interest or that I'll get bored and even though everyday doesn't bring some thrilling adventure each and every moment that we spend together is the best time of my life. How do you know when you find the one? I'm not sure maybe it's different for everyone but when it happened to me it was just a feeling like something had been unlocked inside me it wasn't just emotional or infatuation it was like a conscious knowledge that my life was changed forever. There were times that I doubted myself and felt like I was crazy but in the end it turned out that my gut feeling was right.

The bottom line is, you will know for sure maybe 20 years from now.

I don't believe in "The One". Surely there is more than one person out there that each of us could be compatible with. And I also don't believe in "You'll Just Know". It's more like "You'll Just Know That You Are Willing To Work Hard To Stay Together."

Relationships are hard work, compromise, tears and laughter. There is nothing for sure except your willingness to sacrifice for each other. And it is all the more beautiful that way.

Protect your heart until you find someone who can do it better than you.

Blckout200 wrote ""The One" will make you feel safe and secure. "The One" will love you and accept and respect you for who you are. "The One" will have your best interests at heart."The One" will be the one you confide in and be the shoulder to cry on ."The One" will be there for you. "The One" will understand that you have other interests & friends and not pout about it. "The One" will put a smile on your face. "The One" will cuddle with you and hold you and give you a hug when you need it. "The One" will tell you things will be OK and will work out. You will not be able to imagine your life without "The One" in it."

That's exactly it. It's so easy to get caught up in our own feelings that we start thinking someone's "The One" before he even has a chance to prove it! It's not about how much you love him (or think you do - other feelings such as desperation, fear of loneliness and eagerness to get married can easily pretend to be "love") but about how he treats you!! It's really easy to make excuses for bad behaviour just because we think that "true love conquers everything", "nobody's perfect", or "he just doesn't know how to express his feelings", but if you look deep into your heart the answer will be there, crystal clear, you just have to want to see it!

i kinda felt it from the moment we started dating but actually today is when i really knew! it's christmas day and we both went 2 do christmas with our own families. we both missed eachother so much and we talked about how we have to figure out something else for next year. christmas really made it noticeable for me

I feel like most of the comments that have already been mention b/c it does take time! Taking the step's to find Mr. Right is harder than it seems b/c you don't know people until something goes wrong and then there TRUE COLORS come out to play!

I've been with my man now for 5 yrs. and we always talk about the first time we met and how romantic it was! As soon as we got together I had to end up having eye surgery and I never thought I would be blessed with a man that would stay by my side regardless of what happen. Well as time went on I ended up starting my monthly and I was kinda afraid to ask him just b/c he was a man for one thing and plus I'd never had to ask no one for help b/c I was the type to do thing's my self. I made a comment about some protection (tampons) so that away if he did go out maybe he would be kind enough to bring me some back. Well I fail asleep b/c of the medicine I was on but when I woke up I had a box staring me right in my face sitting on my night stand with a note stating..... Regardless of what we go through I will always be here to cover your every need! I thought that was so sweet so from that point on I new he was going to be the one that I could depend on! That's when I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him b/c what ever I go through he made it clear that he was going to be right behind me!
To me that's what you call a REAL MAN!! Doesn't care what others think of him!

I agree with annbaby. I think there are lots of people out there that someone can be compatible with. And they all take work. You just have to find someone who's bad parts are one's you are willing to live with for years. I don't think there is ever a eureka moment where you suddenly know someone is right for you. I think it takes time to figure something like that out.

The one won't continuously lie to you in your face and never ever consider that you will be completely devastated.. The one will be honest with you and do all they can to work things out. In short, there is no "one." You two have to work things out, be completely honest, and communicate. That's how the two become one.

I feel wary for people out there saying he's the "one," or she's the "one." Ever heard that expression, love is blind? I had a few of those and then bam!
The "one" is walking away with another "one." Then that makes what, two, three and four? You would have to be really lucky to avoid a few false judgments like the rest of us out there. But on the bright side, love can sort of blossom silently like a flower. Even when you're least expecting it. One day you look and there it is. Beautiful. And when did you know? When the seed was planted? When the small leaves were unfurling? When was it? Somewhere in time I guess. Maybe some people are able to see it sooner than others.